When I am alone I don't know what to do, and I can go out and get myself a boyfriend and be happy for about 3 or 4 days, and then I want him to just leave me alone. Especially with the guy that likes me right now. he is totally smothering me, calling me every day, every hour, telling me he loves me and it scares me, and i've asked him to stop and he says he can wait for me even if it takes a month or 10 years. I just want to be alone, but yet when I am alone I want someone. What the flip is wrong!?
2007-01-19 16:41:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The dude seriously is calling me every hour, so much so I have to turn my phone off to get some quiet time. I had a horrible relationship before all of this, and I hate it.
2007-01-19 16:57:58 · update #1
the dude sits up at my work and waits for me, he comes to my house uninvited and stays for hours. He is out of highschool now and i'm still in. he comes up to the school during my lunch hour and hangs out with me and tries to grab me, and kiss me, and I have asked him to stop. I have some other 'brothers' who are willing to beat him up.
2007-01-19 17:07:11 · update #2
I think you are comfortable with your overall life. But at times you get lonely and want to meet a BF.
Problem is, when you meet a BF, and they want to start doing things with you - all the time - you feel like they are invading your life. Probably trying to change it. And wanting to control your life.
You want to be independent. So you start backing away and think "I wish they would just leave me ALONE."
You talk about horses. Maybe if you could find someone who is also interested in horses?
I lived without a roommate for about 12 years. Then got married to a woman who had 2 kids by her 1st husband. My wife (for 22 years now) stresses doing family things. With the kids and with our 2 grandchildren. There is always something to do with them.
When I lived alone, at times it was very lonely. These days, there are times...I wish for the good old days. If I wanted to stay up all night and watch tv I could. If I wanted to do xxx, I could without explaining it to anyone. Sooo, these days - at least once or twice per week - I just take off and do my own thing. Leave her at the house and she can go wherever she wants to. Neither of us is seeing anyone else. But there are times, when you can be together too much.
2007-01-19 16:54:40 · answer #1 · answered by John Hightower 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a combination of two things, your bf is too attached to you if he is really calling you every hour (i kinda doubt this, it sounds like an exaggeration), plus you are too scared to get emotionally involved with someone. Either you had a bad relationship with one of your parents, or they had a bad relationship... something turned you off of intimacy and getting close to others. You should talk to a therapist if it is bothering you this much, just to see what a professional has to say.
2007-01-20 00:46:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to be the same way. You probably have issues either with commitment or you just dont like to be smothered. Not many people do. Dont sweat it, just do your thing, trust me, after a while you will grow out of it and find who you really are.
2007-01-20 00:47:05 · answer #3 · answered by David O 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple.
You're messing with the wrong type of guys. You're picking up desperate cornballs.
Get a REAL dude and he won't smother you or otherwise behave like a dummy.
2007-01-20 00:48:28 · answer #4 · answered by The Don 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You crave the attention, and he knows your history and wants to prove he will do what he has to to please you, but you are not in love, just needy. You could find God and become a nun and never be alone again. Or you can grow up, decide what it is you want, if you want a man in your life instead of someone to cure your "itch", what you want in a man, and go looking for that.
2007-01-20 00:47:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sometimes feel that way too... I think its bacause sometimes you just need to be left alone but also have someone with you at times and it might not be a certain person someone that you are even close too thats how i feel about my brother sometimes.
2007-01-20 00:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by Shiro-Chan :D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's because you're getting the boyfriend for the wrong reason.
Being bored or lonely isn't a good reason.
When you meet someone and you have fun together, always have something to talk about, can't image not being with the person....then he should be your boyfriend.
2007-01-20 00:45:59 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it is just the wrong guy. You want HIM to leave you alone, not the whole male part of the world.
and by the way, just tell the guy, that he is annoying. If he loves you, he'll leave you alone.
Good luck
2007-01-20 00:46:54 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet_summer_breeze 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my younger sisrer had the same issue. just tell the dude ur not 2 his speed. tell him ur not use to being in a relationship and that it's just too much for you @ this time.
2007-01-20 00:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by GG 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you except beautiful youth. Everything will be OK in time.
With fatherly love,
Jonnie
PS Neat that he loves you though !
2007-01-20 00:52:09 · answer #10 · answered by Jonnie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋