is it normal after a few months of a family member feeling numb after 5 yrs of suffering?

Question

my mother 5 yrs ago wastodl she had multiple myloma blood cancer and my girlfriend and i took care of her at home for the last 3 yrs of her life she is gone now it was in august when she died but i still have crying spells once in a while and i feel sometimes i dont want to be around anybody i love my girlfriend but my question is is it normal to feel still numb or am i pushing things ty for listing

Answer 1

Everyone grieves differently, so there is no definition of normal. There is something that happens sometimes when a person has to jump in and take care of someone who is dying. If you are in this situation, you are involved in a prolonged crisis and you don't have time to get side tracked by emotions - you need to be a supportive caregiver, and your own needs come second. Your body and mind somehow store all the emotions and feelings so you can get through the crisis. When the crisis ends, the emotions are still there and never seem to go away. This is post traumatic stress - just like what happens to soldiers. Take a look at this link and see if this might be something to consider:

Answer 2

Yes, it can be. The link between a loved one, and the loss of that person takes time to heal. I lost my father 26 years ago, and it still bothers me. Talk about it, don't hide from it. Share how you feel with your girl friend. If she is like most women, she will feel that loss with you, and can be a very good source of comfort for you. Time lessens all wounds, but never completely heals them. Honor the memory of your mother by pressing on with life, but don't hide from your feelings either. It is no lack of manliness to just have a good cry now and then for a deeply felt loss. You will be the better for the expression of how you feel.

Answer 3

It takes time to get over the loss of a loved one...especially a parent. My mom died 13 years ago, and my dad just died New Years Day of this year. I can understand there are times you just want to be alone...but try not to shut people out who want to love and comfort you thru a difficult time. Your feelings are normal. Time will help ease your pain, but you must also permit yourself to have fun and be happy again...your mom would not want you to grieve thru out your life. Think of the good memories, early times before her illness...laugh at some of the funny events, and cry when you need to. Your girlfriend was with you and your mom to help thru her illness...now she wants and needs to be there for you. You are blessed that you don't have to go thru it alone

Answer 4

everyone grieves in there own way and time..sorry for your lost. i lost my dad to cancer too not long ago.. but i know he wanted me to be happy and go on with our daily lives. i know that i would see him again someday.. as you will your mother someday. but do get out of house and do things that will keep you busy and that helps alot and talking to people about her as i did my dad.. talked about the funny things in our lives and the good stuff..thats what you want is the good memories to always remember and look back on... and talk to your mother.. i do my dad now and then.. tell him i miss him and his homemade hamsalad lol.. good luck. prayers are with you.