We have been together for about two months now, we actually met on a dating site, wrote to each other for a month then called each other for a month before meeting, and it has been awesome for two months, even though we spend a ot of time apart: we live in different cities. Usually he always answers my calls within a day, so yesterday when he didn't I freaked out and looked at his profile on match. And to my surprise, his profile was back and showed "active in the last 24 hours". I was so shocked! When I finally talked to him about it, he said he didn't know why his profile was back online and sais he wasn't talking to anybody else. He said he would look into it. Today, I check again and his profile is still on there!!! What would you do if you were me?
2007-01-19 16:18:28 · 17 answers · asked by ibelieveicanfly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would just ask him why he still has it on there and if he would please delete it. i wouldn't freak out too much cause he might be telling the truth but also you don't want him to think you're overpossesive and stuff
2007-01-19 16:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by Lane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been an active member of Match half a dozen times over the past few years, I can tell you that it's never been a problem to hide my profile. I see no plausible explanation why his would be active. I also don't fault you for looking to see if his profile is active; it doesn't necessarily mean you were looking for men.
How did the conversation go when he had decided to hide his profile? Did you ever have the official "talk" in which you decided to be exclusive, or was it just kind of understood and you thought he was no longer active on Match?
I think he was looking for other women, and it will have to be up to you whether or not you want to date other people, too. You don't need a girlfriend's pic to set up a fake profile; just get some European model's pics and make up a fake profile in his town. You should know him well enough by now to list all of the attributes his "perfect" woman would have.
But, do you really want to put forth all that effort? I know it hurts, but maybe it's best to cut your losses and be thankful you found out he's a louse now and not years down the road after you have children with him.
2007-01-19 16:44:25 · answer #2 · answered by Jay S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow girlie, I've been where you are at, actually I'm just getting out of this crazy relationship I'm in. My point, my guy for years has been off and on going to online personals. When I asked him about it, he said it was no big deal and that he does it for "S*&$ and giggle", yeah, really. Anyone that is active on a personal website is ABSOLUTELY looking into other women. You have only been together 2 months, and you're long distance, I can say it doesnt look good. You need to tell him you checked his stuff an although it was wrong, NOTHING can excuse him having a personals account. He either gets rid of it all together or you leave. Personally though, I'd take the hint and run now, otherwise you'll end up like me, with 9 years invested in a man who continues to view the personals.
take care of YOU, trust your instincts, you are bothered by this, so that must me you think it's wrong and/or it's breaking your heart. Make yourself happy!!
2007-01-19 16:27:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am a military man and can tell you the online different city thing does not work often. Been there done that, and so have my men. In your position obviously he is not being satisfied on some level and looking to either substitute or replace you. I am devious and would probably create a fake profile with a pic of a girlfriend and write to him. See if he responds and how far he is willing to go. Then you call him in two weeks with the results and copies of his emails. from there either it's over or you move closer...
2007-01-19 16:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by D4gotten1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would realize these types of sites will update a users profile or show it active if they receive messages or just to keep the site rolling. A lot of the time people do not use the site anymore and they still maintain the profile to draw in new customers. Yahoo does this as well, half the people on there are not really on there.
-NmD!
2007-01-19 16:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having worked in public safety, my wife (of 22 years) says I just don't trust people. I have seen sooo much.
It is possible, they didn't take down his profile. Or it is possible, he is actively looking.
How to know what is occurring? If you have a friend, who would let you use their account/email address - why not respond to his "active" listing using another name & city? See if he contacts you.
If it is a mistake, and he is not "active" he should not respond to your fake contact. But if he does respond, you caught him lying to you.
Long distance romances, seldom work out.
2007-01-19 16:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by John Hightower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello married cpl here but female answeing id like to say i was there at one time with the man im with now and he admited that he was on there but he also told me he had canceled the acct but had to wait til his paid time was up and i belived him but i also asked him for the password to his acct and i changed it completly and no offense hun but if ur boyfriend is on a dating site then why are u still on there ?if ur not looking? i mean hun my husband and i no now use to live n 2 diffenrnt states
good luck to u and if u want to talk thru an im just im me or email and id be glad to help ya if i can
2007-01-19 16:32:24 · answer #7 · answered by Angie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay on the site and stay active as he most certainly is.He seems to be there to meet as many people as he can.You can't expect him to be in love as he hardly knows you . You my sweet are to desperate and fall in love to easily.Slow down . How old are you and when was the last time you had a relationship ?
2007-01-19 16:28:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time, it usually takes a week to remove the file.
2007-01-19 16:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it only been 2 months so it would not be to hard to move on, this
one sound like he playing games, time to let go, a person that
lies to you is not worth the hassle,
2007-01-19 16:24:31 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋