We didn't have his address or any contact with him for 10 years and now all of sudden he's interested in the kids, and telling me we should have been talking all this time about the kids. He visited recently, with gifts for the kids, (also first time in 10 years) took them out for dinner, and then invited me out to go also. I declined for myself but let kids go. He also told me he and last jealous girlfriend of 3 years of his had split six months ago. So, am I paranoid or is the guy trying to check out if I am available? he also leaned over to hug me as he was leaving our house. I was stunned and just sat there like a block of stone. We had loved deeply in the past ( married 10 years) and had a bitter divorce. What do you think is his motive?
2007-01-19 16:03:13 · 4 answers · asked by Rose R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1 motive for certain is that he wants to see his kids - which is good.
You don't seem to want to re-kindle any old flame, so you shouldn't.
Maybe you need to make him aware that its ok to see the kids, but you have no feelings for him (if that is the case).
2007-01-19 16:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by proofofignorance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say what his motive is, but I would be careful. What was your relationship before? Was he abusive? Was the break up mutual or angry? Did he cheat? What does your family think about him? Does his family live close by? Do they see the children? If he has a conversation with you about reuniting, think about counseling first. You have to think about the children and would he be a good roll model? People do change, but l would observe his behavior first. Proof is in the pudding. He has to prove to you that he will be a good man, husband and father. Try not to confuse the kids. What if he gets antsy and leave again? Protect your children.
Just by asking this question you already have doubts. Maybe talk to your pastor. Even better, talk to your mother. You might be surprised by what she has to say. I wish you the best.
2007-01-20 00:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be he has regrets, but can you trust him. That's a tough one. As he is now taking an interest in the kids, and they most likely are going into adulthood now, you need to sit down and ask him to fill in his life over the past 10 years. And if it were me I would guard my heart that I don't get fooled again.
2007-01-20 00:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by mc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on why you divorced him in the first place.... check to see how he is doing and what's going on in his life, but don't get close to him until you find out his real motives. His motive could be money
2007-01-20 00:13:04 · answer #4 · answered by Megan C 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋