Should I have second child ?

Question

My age is 30, my wife is 23 and we have a son 2 years old. I am a government servant with limited income and our ambition is to make our son a pilot (aviation). For this we have to accumulate huge savings. But by this, we cannot dream of second child (boy or girl). Will my son in future curse us for not giving him a brother/ sister ? Please guide us.

Answer 1

Your son really could use another year with all his parents' attention because children's brains are developing so dramatically between birth and three years old. (www.zerotothree.org)

Are you serious about having a "dream" for what your child will do when he grows up? Children have their own dreams, and most of those dreams don't necessarily go along with what parents wish their child would do.

As far as a college education goes, you can do your best to save; but kids can get a college education pretty reasonably priced at a state college. Once they graduate they can select a more prestigious Masters program if they've done well academically. An "expert" I saw once said it is more important to get graduate degrees from more prestigious schools than it is to do undergraduate work.

Not that my opinion matters, but I think you should enjoy your baby boy for another year or so, have another child then.

Enjoy your family but remember that each child is an individual in his own right and will have his own ideas about what he wants to do in life. Enjoy however many babies you have while they are little because it is horrifying how quickly they grow up and go out on their own. If you spend your time dreaming about the future of someone else rather than paying attention to, and enjoying that someone else when he/she needs you to, you may find out you spent your children's childhoods thinking about something that would never happen.

Answer 2

I am 17 years old and I have a sister who is 13 years younger than me. Basically, my parents want me to go into law school when I graduate.
However, I don't want to be a lawyer at all. I want to go into the medical field. If my parents forced me to go into law school, not only would I be very very upset, I would probably transfer to a med school instead.
However, because of limited income means, my parents did not have my sister until I was over 13. There were days that I wished and HOPED that my parents would have another kid... they didn't. Not until I was a lot older. I didn't have a brother or sister growing up and I missed out on that whole experience. Me and my sister are close, but there's not the relationship there where there would have been if she was only three or four years younger. I kinda feel a bit separated from a lot of other people who talk about how annoying their brothers and sisters are. I don't have a younger sister asking to borrow my clothes or an older brother to help me with my homework. And I wish I did most of the time. Having someone to rely on in your family besides your parents means a lot.
However, I don't really know your exact situation. I don't want to tell you to have a kid if you really don't want another one. Just look inside your heart. It'll tell you the right choice. And when your son gets to be around my sister's age, asking for a brother or sister... it might be a bit hard to tell him why you're not going to give him one... because of an expensive education he might not even use.
By the way, if he does want to go into that field, you can take comfort in the fact that through scholarships and student loans and financial aid, it's actually quite easy to get an education. I'm applying for colleges and I'm eligible for all sorts of money and stuff.

Answer 3

It is very smart to consider your financial situation when planning for a second child and how wonderful that you are planning for your son's financial future. One can only guess if sixteen years from now your son will bemoan having or not having a sibling. If it is in your hearts to bring another child into your family and it is reasonably withing your means to do so, then do it!

Keep in mind, you may want your son to be a pilot but he may choose to be a mechanic, a doctor, a teacher...let him choose his path but be prepared for big college bills either way!

Answer 4

You have a very good plan for your kid & I sincerly wish he does what you want to.. but are you sure your son will do what you want to, I am sure it is better you think of it now.. rather than regreting afterwards, and you cant do anything.. it is god's plan what he wants your child to be.. and may be your second child make your dreams come true..i dont really prefer that you should have only one child, as your child will also need someone to chat, fight or play.. and even you will have a support in future...

Answer 5

Yes you should have another child. The child has no one to play with, they don't learn how to share very well, they get used to not having to share their time with you and don't react will when they can not have you now. They miss out on so much not having someone there with them. Your son is 2. What if he does not want to be a pilot or he does not pass the physical. I don't think it is right to be so dead set on him being a pilot and so you can not have another child.

Answer 6

You unfortunately will not be around forever and secondly children don't always end up doing what we want If you feel you long to have a another child can love provide care for another child then you should have one Your first child may not want to become a pilot he will definetly benefit from having a sibling.Do what is in your heart.

Answer 7

Hello Dear
You may be right as every perants like to see their children on top, but my dear it will be injustice with ur child, if you will leave him/her alone after both of you in late future. Secondly, if u give him brother or sister it is sure ur child will develope mentally and socially too, this can help to ur child to be a pilot in future.
As u said that u would like to make him pilot but in my view u should identify his area of interest frist instead of imposing your mercy.
Actually presence of second child may developes maturity and responsibility in first one. So, get ready and take a chance again.

Good Luck.....

Answer 8

first of all, you cannot make a child be something that they do not want to be. it's wise to save for your child's education, but not for a specific education that you don't even know if they will be interested in. not only that, you are basing your entire family situation on this child being a pilot. that makes no sense. have the family that you want to have and let the future be the future.

Answer 9

You should do what you and your wife feel is right for the both of you. You child will not hate to be an only, nor will he resent you for it.(He would most likely love to be an older brother though!) If you want to have another child, do it! I understand that you want the best for your children, but you cannot plan out the life of your child, because that is what he will resent you for.

Answer 10

pls. allow me to be blunt.
children are the product of some unknown spiritual biological phenomana. no one can control this. otherwise no government will allow its citizen to produce lower IQ babies.
you can only nurture your child with love and care.
it is more important for him to be happy than a pilot.
rest of the things you have to decide on your own.
no one on this earth can help you!
rather do not ask at all!
Enjoy