ur married for 10yrs plus what are some new things to spark up the relationship (hows swinging) toys etc......

Question

how does it feel swinging ANYONE TRY BEFORE thinkin bout wit husband and suggestions?????

Answer 1

divorce papers

Answer 2

There are lots of ways to spice-up your relationship. Swinging is one of them. As long as you are both on the same page about it, that it is something you both want to do, then you could have a great time at it.

According to a 2000 study of swingers done by Bellarmine University "62.6% of swingers found that swinging improved their marriages/relationships, 35.6% said their relationships stayed about the same, and only 1.7% said they became less happy. Even among those who said their marriages were "Very Happy" prior to swinging nearly half (49.7%) said they became happier. Among those with the most unhappy marriages 90.4% said their relationship became happier after swinging. It appears that, at least among the sample of swingers used in this research, swinging tends to improve the perceived quality of the couples' marriages regardless of how satisfying it was before swinging."

Now this doesn't mean it will fix any and all problems in a marriage. Like a good friend once said after observing swingers for a while "Swinging is like the icing on the marriage cake. But, if the cake doesn't have all the ingredients in it to make it solid in the first place, all the icing in the world won't keep it from crumbling."

Basically saying that it will spice-up a relationship, but if there are other issues, it won't "fix" a relationship. The marriage itself has to be very solid to begin with.

For instance, the study found that "the typical swinger in this study was 39 years old, had two years of college education, had been married 1.5 times, was in a current marriage lasting 10.5 years, and had been involved in swinging for 5 years."

So you can see that the common idea of it ruining marriages and such is very false when people do it for the right reasons, and nobody is being coerced or manipulated into it. This is obvious from the fact that the average swinging couple has been married 10+ years and have been swinging for 5 of those.

It also shows that since the average swinger has been married more than once, that they bought into the fairytale idea of marriage - one person, one love, forever - and it didn't work like everybody told them it would. They are doing things differently in their second marriage with much better results.

For some great information on swinging, by those that have been there for sometime, newbies, and those just thinking about it (like you), check-out The Swingers Board http://www.swingersboard.com .

Answer 3

My husband and I have been married 20yrs he was19 and I was 17 .We also went through a slump in "spark " at about 6yrs in. At that time we were good friends with another couple we went to school with they had an open marriage.So after my husband and I talked it all over,we came up with our own set of boundaries (Like we must be together,in same room, No side flings,Its OK to say I don't like that or I'm not comfortable with that ).Both partners need to be honest and open,Any way we got together with our friends and talked to them and said what was no our minds. We enjoyed about 10 encounters with them over the next 2 yrs,until they moved to another city.We have not been with any other couples but we still discuss it from time to time and the sex is hot after.But be careful this type of thing can have a negative side to ,you must be willing to put all jealousy aside and no comparing (she does that and you don't, he is a better at) that can lead to hurt feelings, NOT THE RESULTS YOU WERE GOING FOR. You may also try roll playing, I like the fireman and the helpless woman with a fire in my,I'll let your imagination do the rest.Toys can also be fun,there are many sites that sell just that sort of thing.you may need to try a few before you and your partner find something you like(this can be fun if you have an open mind) Give your self permission to enjoy every thing you do together don't let embarrassment to stop you.`

Answer 4

Tell ya what...if I were you I would avoid getting advice about swinging from Yahoo Answers. With the exception of a few members on here (who have given excellent advice in this regard, such as RacerX and whitepeach), you're going to get the same song and dance telling you what an idiot you are for even THINKING about such a thing. Now you can either say "Baaa" and follow the rest of them, or you can continue to think for yourself. If you really want to understand the inner workings of a successful swinging relationship, you won't find it here. Try the link below. In my opinion, it is THE best site on the web for reliable information and advice about swinging.

Answer 5

OK, I'll be married 10 years in a few months.

I have to admit that I would NEVER do that. I'm all for keeping things fresh, but not that way. Think about what it will be like afterwards. Do you want to know your spouse was intimate with someone other than you? Maybe you guys can work it out, but I honestly think that it would be beginning of the end.

I refuse to share my spouse with anyone. Call me selfish if you want.

I think you guys should make some vacation plans, get out of whatever rut you may be in, and if you still decide to go through with you idea, give it serious throught BEFORE you do it.

Good luck.

Answer 6

That's a stupid idea! Get a divorce befor you hate yourself and him too! Just go out and act out some fantasy including just the two of you! Like pretend you haven't met befor and get real chummy real fast and shock the people around you, go out to a nice lounge and sit up at the bar, you know the scenario, just act it out, then go home and enjoy!

Answer 7

I have not tried but think of it as cheating. Toys are good. Dinner in bed while in the buff. Bubble bath together. There are lots of things just use your imagination.

Answer 8

If you need to spice up your marriage by bringing other people into it, why not just get divorced? People are not toys to spice up a stale marriage.

Answer 9

So a relationship based on sex...sounds like you'll be married forever.

Answer 10

y dont you just try to make her feel good about herself and the relatioship that you have built together. TAKE HE OUT TO DINNER AND SHOW HER THAT YOU CARE STILL