Grandmother getting on my nerves help?

Question

Well my son is two years and we have been learning our puzzles and he has been reading a bit, my husband's mother tells me that he shouldn't be knowing how to read and learning how to do puzzle at his age, and if your wondering thats all he does, i dont have to make him do anything he loves to go out and play but he is more into playing puzzle and read mostly how do i tell his grandmother he is just a normal little guy who loves to learn more than he loves to go out and play, he normally tells me that its not fun going outside and stops playng with what he has and comes in and i put on barney and he sits with his puzzle and just relaxes and his grandmother thinks he should just be a kid that wants to go outside and be a normal kid but i dont know how to tell her without her makeing judgements! plz any advice

Answer 1

I think you both have valid interests in your son. It's wonderful that he enjoys puzzles and books --- that really develops his mental abilities. Children also need fresh air and exercise to develop his muscles and motor skills. Like everything in life, we need to maintain a healthy balance and I'm sure you are. Try not to take grandma's concerns to heart - she loves her grandson dearly and just wants the best for him. You're there more than she is and know the whole picture. If she continues to step over her bounds, if it's your husband's mom, have him discretely talk to her about leaving the parenting to you and your husband.

Answer 2

Ask gramma if all her kids were the same and did the same things the same way.

I learned to read by the time I was four, I'd sit for hours and listen to my parents broadway musicals when I was around two, my mum didn't have conniptions and neither did my grandparents.

Kids are different and develop differently. Doing puzzles is great hand eye coordination as well as problem solving skills which will be put to use later on.

He may prefer his own company while he's a todler as other todlers can sometimes be unruly and just out and out mean.

Why doesn't Gramma take him out to the park or for a walk or play some outdoor games with him so he'll learn to like that as well if she thinks he's being deprived?

Answer 3

No you shouldn't tell her off! SHe is your grandmother and you are no doubt a young, immature, intolerant, impatient kid. I don't say that to offend you - but I used to have this grandmother too who just sent me over the edge, she bugged me and offended people, and everyone was scared of her - she was awful. But she was after all our grandmother, had been living a long time with a lot of different kinds of experiences then us, had a different take on life and warranted our respect. Later in my life when I became a married woman with 4 children and she became quite old and suffered a stroke - we took her into our home to live with us for the last 5 years of her life. I learned to love & respect her a great deal as I helped & served her in these last years of her life. She was who she was because of her rather hard early life and I was actually very much like her I came to realize. She spoke her mind as do I and telling your grandmother what you THINK without being disrespectful would be ok I think. It might make your relationship better - but do it kindly but openly.

Answer 4

If he is learning to read on his own, great. If you are trying to teach him to read right now, that's developmentally inappropriate. It's actually bad for kids eyes to do the close work of reading right now. If you are forcing him to read or do puzzles, it's counter to child development. If you are meeting his desire for these things, well, it just shows you're really in tune with him.

our oldest son was the type who would lay in the grass and study the clouds for half an hour when he was two. he would turn down friends who would come to play. he just had other things on his mind. today, he enjoys friends, but he is by far the smartest kid in the vast homeschooling network around here, and is bubbling over with insights and information.

his grandma is going to have to accept him as he is and you may have to run interception if she can't stop giving him the message that he's not normal. he's normal he's wonderful.

you should tell her that you have found it wonderful to watch him unfold and develop as he is and you intend to support his efforts and his right to be himself and you find it really exciting to see his development and your sure she does, too. you would want to say this is a postive context, not defensively.

Answer 5

If you and your husband are happy with the way you are raising your son then don't let anyone get to you with their comments. I hope the grandmother does not live with you? If she does just tell her you and your husband feel everything is going smooth the way you are training and allowing your son to do things. Many children now days have so many toys that stimulate their minds and keeps them interested. One last suggestion tell the grandmother to sit down on the floor and play with her grandson with the puzzle. She will see how much he is enjoying it. Best of luck,
Mama Jazzy Geri

Answer 6

i feel you on that...they feel just because they graduated with toddlers they think they know best....I had problems with my in-laws as well as my own parents on telling me what to do about my child...don't worry just prove to them that you know your child more than they do and you know what's best for him because every child is different. And they act like he's not being a kid by playing with puzzles. Puzzles are actually good for their brains at that age...just be calm and keep it at a good tone where you won't cause drama because when drama comes, everything gets ugly...so good luck to you :)

Answer 7

Yes he SHOULD be outside...that is a part of helping his development...he shouldn't be watching Barney all of the time and being indoors...that's called being a "couch potato" and is a cause of obesity in children here in the U.S. He NEEDS to be outside to exercise because exercise promotes HEALTHY growth. YOU are the parent not your son...you TELL him he is to go outside and YOU go with him and play WITH him.

Answer 8

A grandmother who loves her grandbaby, loves to give advice, even when unwanted, because she worries about that baby as much as you do!

Respectfully explain to her that you have talked to your son's pediatrician and read many articles from parenting magazines and that you are comfortable that your son is happy, healthy and developing at his own pace. Children's interests develop uniquely to themselves based on what physical, cognitive or behavioral aspect they are growing.

Answer 9

have you asked her why she thinks that it is too early for him to be learning these things? once you know why she thinks this, it will be easier to explain to her why that makes no sense. I have never heard of someone saying that it is too early to learn. the earlier the better.

Answer 10

my mother in law is nosy in the same way, tell her its none of her business. To leave the boy alone and let him do what he wants to do .