My friend is going through a bit of a rough patch. The father of the baby didnt want anything to do with her while she was pregnant and sudenly wants to get visitation rights now that the child is almost one. He smokes, drinks and we think he has taken drugs also. He only ever visits for about an hour at a time. Does she has any say in what happens? and can she go for full custody? please submit your source. thanks in advance
2007-01-19 14:14:02 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
regardless of what happened while she was pregnant, or over the past almost year...he has rights as a father and your friend needs to respect that. She had the child grow in her belly, she had a lot more preparation time for this than he did...she HAD to grow up faster...sometimes it takes a new & young father some time to get his head out if his butt.
Lots of people smoke & drink...that doesn't make a person a bad parent...he may have even done drugs in the past..but it is completely wrong of you to assume, and it can't be used against him unless you have ABSOLUTE proof, as in an arrest or something. Just accusing it can do more harm than good when it comes to your friend's custody. Also, if drug use is in his past, that also, doesn't make him a bad parent for the future.
What the two of them need to come to terms with is the fact that this is about what is best for the child. Not mom, not dad...the child...and the child needs BOTH parents. Even if they aren't together. It's fine he only visits an hour right now, that is actually customary so both parent & child can become comfortable with each other before more time is spent.
The best choice for a child is joint custody. Both physical & legal. This gives equal say to both parents...which is what would be true if they were together. Just because parents aren't together doesn't give one parent more right than the other.
Remember...a child is not property. Neither of the parent's own him or her...the child is a product of both of them. They made the choice to sleep together and produce a child, now it is their ultimate responsibility, for the sake of the child, to work TOGETHER as parents to raise the child well.
If you want to be a good friend, then advocate for the CHILD. Not one parent or the other...get them both to unerstand that when it comes down to it, their selfishness, issues with each other & anger will only hurt thier child in the long run...they need to grow up...fast...and approach being parents with maturity, respect & grace.
2007-01-19 14:29:11 · answer #1 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that I have no source but I think your friend should try for full custody. If she tells the court to do backgorund checks or most of the time they will look into it themselves because they will want the better side for the child. My aunt didnt get to keep her children because she "wasn't stable enough". Just don't let her give up, I'm pretty sure she will win.
2007-01-19 22:22:49 · answer #2 · answered by TexasPunk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she does. If the He isn't meeting the basic requirement for a healthy environment, one that doesn't endanger the wellfare of the child, then she has every right to be well in control of the interaction of the parent and child and should get custody to protect the child.......and vise versa. The issue here is the safety and security of the child.
2007-01-19 22:20:47 · answer #3 · answered by diggamann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend can go to the family court in her city and file for sole custody. If she can prove that he is unfit, a judge will grant it. It does not cost much to file this. She can also call Legal Aid. Just look it up in the phone book. That sucks , It sounds like it would have been better for him not to have come around.
2007-01-19 22:20:46 · answer #4 · answered by C C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has he ever been abusive or threatened her or the baby? if he did that to your friend then she has a good case, but if he threaned the baby too, then its a closed case. no smart judge would give visitation to a abusive FATHER, an abusive husband doesnt go all the way. if he didnt do any of that then he might get some visitation. but im not ENTIRELY sure about all of this, but its all most likely stuff.
2007-01-19 22:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by Candy!!!!!!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he pay any child support?? will he take to child to school sometimes when he/she starts? will he read them a book or tuck em in??
if not, id think about getting full custody
2007-01-19 22:19:02 · answer #6 · answered by Frank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋