How to Blend this Family?

Question

My sister was recently arrested...I took possesion of her children 6 year old girl and a 9 year old boy... My daughter is 12 and my son is 9...The boys fight w/ each other ....the lil one Fights w/ the boys, is not listening, argues and wants EVERYTHING...I need some suggestions on how to Blend this Family w/out having anyone feel left out!!!!!

Answer 1

have a family game day/night. get the kids on a reward point system. you have to disipline but you have to be firm and consistent to everyone.
call nanny911 and try to get them to come into your home and teach the kids how to listen and condone each other.
I've never been in that situation. good luck!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

A little girl who has been separated from even a troubled or difficult mother is going to have issues (at least for a while). She should be kept separate from the boys because they're older, and she can't deal with them.

You may want to tell the two boys to play separately as well. Just because they're the same age it doesn't mean they need to be together all the time. You can tell them if they can get along they can be together; otherwise, they need to separate.

At 12, your daughter should be above it all and should go do her own thing. If the boys bother her stop them. Maybe she could pay some attention to the little girl, so she'd have someone give her some special time.

If - when you're not all going out together - they all go and do their own things they may be more willing to be agreeable if you all go out together. Tell them, "Look. We're going x. We can't have fighting and complaining, and if we do I won't buy you anything." (or won't go at all).

If this is a recent arrangement the children may just need time to get used to the new arrangement and deal with whatever they are dealing with when it comes to not being with their mother (or the fact that she has been arrested).

If you talk to all the children, tell them you know this is a difficult time (which is why you're telling them to each do their own thing), and tell them it is normal that there will be some difficulties for now; eventually they'll probably work into a system. You can't blend any family all at once and without difficulties.

It would be nicer for the children if, when you're talking about having them come to live with you, you said, "I'm taking care of my sister's children" rather than "took possession of them".

Answer 4

Tough situation and unfortunately I don't have any specific answers. Try to find something that all 4 can get interested in. Sports, games, something like that. Something that takes teamwork but is rewarding at the end. Perhaps pick a local basketball team and make it a point to watch their games. Get the kids interested in cheering for them. I only say basketball because it's the sport that is in play right now and has a ways to go.

Maybe try to create competetive type games. Team the 12 yr old with the 6 yr old and put the two 9yr olds on a team. That way the oldest helps the youngest, and the two middle kids learn to work together instead of against eachother.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Oh dahling angel girl have you got your work cut out for you.....

I was a foster Mom for 15 years, let's see what I have in my bags of tricks::

1. Take everybody out of their comfort zone...leave the house and spend a "weekend retreat" in a Holiday Inn if possible, or if you live in a warmer part of the country, go camping. Spend this time getting to know each other without all the usual boundaries and territories.....

2. Start having "family meetings" at dinner every night. Talk about the problems you all face together and ask for help in solving those problems.

3. Get your daughter to realize how scared and lonesome her female cousin is, and see if she can't help out.

4. Get your husband/significant other/volunteer big brother to work with the boys....they need a male to sort out their issues...

5. GOOD LUCK@ you rock girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Answer 6

That is very nice of you to take own this extra responsibility. Try teach the children that that have to look out for each other. Give them all special chores for the household. Like the little one may need to pull the trash, somebody else may need to dust. Try to teach them to love each other and that they all have to work together as a family. Also, allow them fun things too. like movie night, or certain alone time things to do own their on. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think that counseling would really help your family. Therapy can help your niece and nephew, and your "immediate" family can all benefit from exercises and sessions to help build relationships. Work on doing things that you can all take part in, cooking, playing board games, and even exercising together is great. It is an awesome thing that you are doing taking care of your niece and nephew but it is a big job, trust me I know personally. And with time and "in my house prayer" it will all work out. After all even with the differences we are all family. Give it time, good luck.

Answer 8

i think u guys should have more family activities such as picnics or games. like put the ones that dont get along inda same team. so like they can cooperate. get them closer. jus tryta get them 2 hang out w/ each other more often.

Answer 9

its very simple really just find something they all agree to do or play and have them sit down and play it or take turns with what ever it is.