My mom is really strickt with me scence i'm muslim. Shes american tho. we're living in the states and i have an american boyfriend. I have lived in Saudi Till the 6th grade. I'm a freshman in high school now. My mom hardley lets me talk to my boyfriend on the phone. i have time limits. 3 times a week 15 minutes each! then im not allowed to c him AT ALL out side of school. she let that slip once and i went to the movies with him but she came too. i made sure she couldnt c me and we made out! lol anyways.. ya im really not even allowed to have a boyfriend and i dont know why she hasnt said anything about it yet.
mom..being to strickt or is this normal?
should i be able to go to the mall or somthen with my boyfriend or not?
2007-01-19 13:59:57 · 18 answers · asked by Sumer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i DO NOT want to have sex before merriage! NO WAY! im a muslim and im tottaly against that
2007-01-19 14:18:10 · update #1
how old r u? It depends on your age mom is all ways gonna be strick no matter what age you are thou. She just wanna make sure you are all right you can not trust people these days. That is just her showing her love for you so make sure you are safe and not into any trouble.
2007-01-19 14:43:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's being pretty strict but I assume that's because of your religion. Not too sure there. There's not much you can do. You kinda have to do what she says. Try talking to her. Let her know that you and your bf just want time to hang out outside of school and to talk on the phone for maybe an hour after your homework and stuff is done on school nights. On the weekend, as long as you don't tie up the phone or neglect your responsibilites, there shouldn't be a problem to ask for 2 hours or something. Make a deal with her, tell her if she lets you go out with him on weekends and talk on the phone, if at any time your grades slip or you forget to do something she told you to do, you will stop seeing your bf and you won't bring it up again. Don't get all emotional when you talk to her. Just ask her to let you have some responsibility and a little freedom. Make sure you let her know that you can be trusted and that you take her trust very seriously and you never violate it. Good luck!
2007-01-19 14:06:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a cultural clash. Your mother is struggling with having a daughter caught between the culture she grew up with and the culture enveloping you right now. My parents are Asian and they were way more strict than your parents are. When I was in high school, my life revolved around getting A's and taking AP classes. While boys were out of the question, I did manage to sneak out and see my boyfriend. I think your mother is letting things slide a bit because she understands that this is America, but she also has to deal with the way she was brought up, perhaps thinking that the old way is better. In some ways, it is. I'm 23 now and when I was 16, I used to be so angry that my parents wouldn't let me see my boyfriend (we're still together). But now that I am older, I see their views on it and am glad that they steered me away from other temptations my American friends often got caught up in --drugs, pregnancy, no values and morals about certain matters. It's hard now, but I think that since your mother is rather lenient now, it will definitely get easier and you'll be glad of the way she raised you. Sorry this was so long, but I wish you the best!
2007-01-19 14:15:46 · answer #3 · answered by keonli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, hun, i know what u mean. sometimes it feels like parents are WAY too strict. you've been in the good ol US of A for three years, and a very defining time of your life-jr high, and you're ready to party american style!=) but your mama, well it sounds like she's lived in saudi most of her life. she may be unwilling or unsure of how to give you a little more freedom. mothers love their children. they don't want us to get hurt. she is just protecting you. my first "date" was a movie double date last year (sophomore). Not only did my mom, my brother, and my sister come, but my friend's mom and sister went too!! it was pretty close to total humiliation. the poor kid just sat there, he barely even looked at me! =P
it sounds like just by letting you have a bf she's already knocked some of her barriers down. i think you should prolly talk to her about it, and tell her how much you appreciate it that she's letting you have a boyfriend. then, maybe you can say that you wish you could see him more often. make sure at that point that you remind her how trustworthy you are, and what a good girl, lol. if she's reminded of that, maybe she'll let you go out in a group. personally, if i had a daughter, i think i wouldn't let her have a bf and go on single dates until she was about 16, but i know we want to go way before that! just trust your mom. if your boy really likes you AND respects you, he'll be content with seing you at school.
p.s. another idea is see if your mom would like him to come over for dinner when he can formally meet her and she can get to know him, k?
good luck, sweetie!
btw, don't listen to dipwad racists like the one who commented earlier. everyone is their own person, and his is not very nice, gentlemanly, or patriotic!
2007-01-19 14:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by Ask Shirley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until you are able to live on your own, you do have to abide by your parents rules as long as they aren't harmful to you or anyone else. The best thing that I can suggest is to try and accept that it isn't going to change. I remember how it felt and I wouldn't like to hear what I am saying to you either. But it is what's best. Unless she eases the rules, there is nothing that you are going to be able to do that would be acceptable and responsible or trouble free. She has your best interests at heart and doesn't want you to place yourself in a position where you are very likely to mess your life up. When all of us are in our teens, we want to enjoy life as we want to and it is very very difficult to feel content with restrictions that keep us from doing what we want.
If I had a chance to live life all over again, I would not try to circumvent the rules and argue with my parents. I now know that they really cared for me.
2007-01-19 14:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by Awesome Bill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bit too strict I think. Yeah, you shouldn't be going out all the time, making out, or having the wild monkey, but at least you should be able to talk to him as you please as long as you're not on the line the whole time.
If you're parents are controlling your relationship too much, you might as well get into an arranged marriage.
2007-01-19 14:05:53 · answer #6 · answered by frosty-pookie-eddy-eddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to do with the religion and your background. If you were american and not Muslim then your mom would be stirck but it sounds like shes acting normal for your tradition. Maybe you can sit down and talk to her.
2007-01-19 14:04:43 · answer #7 · answered by angel01182 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your Mom is right. Even if you were not Muslim, I wouldn't let you have a bf for a couple of years yet. So give your Mom a break, and stop trying to pull a fast one.
2007-01-19 14:04:21 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I guess you need to identify with either being a moslem or an american. Just remember that moms always protect their dughters.
2007-01-19 14:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...sounds strict, but is that normal in Saudi? All cultures are different, what seems extreme here could be seen as normal there.
2007-01-19 14:03:34 · answer #10 · answered by texascomet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋