Okay, I'm 21 and my boyfriend's soon to be 24. We've been dating for a year and a half come Valentine's Day, and have know each other for about 3 years before we started dating. I love him very much- I know I do, through good times or bad but my question is, when or how can I say it to him? We don't say it to each other- ever. I know that it's not wrong, but I acidently slipped it out saying it one time after I was pickin' on him and he changed the subject right then and quick. Do you think he's afraid? Or maybe he doesn't love me anymore, he doesn't spend as much quality time with me either. Just looking for thoughts and suggestions, don't want any hard feelings.
2007-01-19 13:10:44 · 12 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That is the very question~ Does he not really love me or is it from past issues? I've talked to his mom about this, we get along great, and she said that we're just both afraid to say what we feel because of past relationships. I want to say, I really do but sometimes I feel like I'm pulling teeth for him to do things with me, I just want him to act the way he did when we started dating. Must be a man thing . . . I dunno
2007-01-19 13:19:35 · update #1
Tell him you think you love him. Then he can either say he loves you or that you probably just like him a lot, the way he likes you. It gives him an out.
2007-01-19 13:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think sitting him down for a nice romantic dinner on valentines day would be very nice. For his valentines present, get a nice Hallmark card that states your feelings the best. Then write a personal note at the bottom along the lines of "I know you might not be able to respond to this right now, but I am ready to let you know just how much I care for you. I Love you deeply." then right after he reads that, he should look at you. Then you say something like- I don't want you to say those words unless you mean it and I don't want to pressure you. But I am ready to say it and will say it. --- Big Kiss then.
This would be good communication because it is open and honest. If you wanted to get him a real present to open after this, that might soften the blow if it shocks him too much. (There is a "That 70's Show" episode with a similar situation. Try watching it and see what not to do). Don't joke afterwards. You do need to talk some about it.
I don't his situation or history. Being hurt previously could affect how he lets himself go and also he could be scared of getting hurt. Good luck. It could be one of the greatest valentines you will ever have.
2007-01-19 21:34:41 · answer #2 · answered by darlabbq 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communication is extremely important in any relationship. If you don't or can't communucate with your mate than you don't really have any relationship at all. I would definitely talk to him about it and ask him how he feels. If you love someone, you need to let them know because you never know when it's going to be your last day with them. Anything can happen. If something bad was to happen to him, would you regret not telling him that you love him? Love just isn't about saying "I love you" it's about proving to the other person that you love them. Anyone can say "I love you" but it's when you prove it that the other person knows that you really do love them. There are simple things you can do to let someone know you love them such as writing him a letter and leaving it somewhere unexpected, saying I love you, buying a greeting card and giving it to him with how you feel about him in the card. Little things mean the most. If you guys have been together that long and he hasn't said that he loves you yet, it's a big possiblity that he might be afraid of commitment or love. Remember: Communication is the key!!!
Good luck!
2007-01-19 21:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by journeythroughlife85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something you should address with him. If you've been dating a year and a half and have never told each other that you love the other, then why are you two together? Why doesn't he say it? Does it not feel it? Why don't you say it? (other than that slip)
If you can't communicate, you don't have much of a relationship. Speak with him and see what his thoughts and feelings are. It may be that your relationship has run its course...
2007-01-19 21:16:21 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, not saying that after a year and a half, it seems like it would be a rather awkward situation. If you truly feel that way, I think you should feel free to express it. If he has issues expressing it to you, I would want to know why, is he just uncomfortable saying it for some other reason, or is he not feeling it.
I wouldn't attack him about it or anything, but I would definately be exploring the issue. Good luck!
2007-01-19 21:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by dancin thru life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to rock the boat, my dear. Tell him you are ready for a serious relationship, and so it's time that you each start dating other people. Remain calm, but follow through with your committment to find a REAL relationship.
Right now what you have may be comfortable, but it isn't really working, is it? And if he isn't willing to state what you think is OBVIOUS, it may turn out that it isn't that obvious at all to him.
At that point, if he can't tell you he loves you, walk away.
2007-01-19 21:16:32 · answer #6 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in the same thing because i really want to say i love you to a man too but i think that a guy would be able to say it after a year just give him some time and he'll come around soon ok good luck on getting him to understand he will soon
2007-01-19 21:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by Emmy Awards mms 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know what your boyfriend really feels, but there are some men who quickly skip the subject because they are being shy.. But there's some of twist there, you said that he didnt spend qualities time with you, meaning, maybe he's busy.. But you've got to know his schedule first before you say the "he doesnt spend quality time with you" maybe he prioritize other things.. there are some guys like that.. but it doesnt mean that he dont love you.. maybe he was trying to speak it out.. Boys sometimes are afraid to say "i love you", because they feel that you will laugh at them.. that's all I hope its help..
2007-01-19 21:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by Cyrisse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After that long the answer should come to you quicker.Maybe talk to him about it because communication is the most important thing in a relationship.
2007-01-19 21:15:52 · answer #9 · answered by djnatura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. Im in the same situation. Talk to him about it. Maybe he's not ready to tell you how he feels face to face. Give it time.
2007-01-19 21:14:26 · answer #10 · answered by isolatedeternity 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋