First I want to say I love my parents very much, but if you have read my other question you know I have had problems with them. I currently live with my parents and I am pregnant with my first child. The father and I have had our problems but have worked things out and are now planning on moving back in togather. My mom can not stand him and as long as I live in her house has told me that if I even talk to him I have to leave. So we have been talking and seeing each other in secret. We have only seen each other a few times considering I dont have a car and have been using my parents van. So how do I tell my mom that I am moving out, since as far as she knows I have not even been talking to him??
2007-01-19 12:55:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am 23 years old, and the only reason I have been able to get out of my mom for her reason for not like my BF is, he is divorced and has 3 kids by his ex wife of 8 years, and he has tattoos. He has always treated me with respect and love and has never given me a reason not to trust or love him. I have never loved anyone as much as I love him. Yes him and I have had out problems, but we worked through them and have come to realize that no matter what we want to be togather and to be a family. I love his other 3 kids to death and feel more at home with his family then I do with my own. I am just confused on how to deal with my mom because I do love her, but I cant keep going on like we are. I live with my parents right now because when I found out I was pregnant I lost my job and had to move back home.
2007-01-19 13:10:37 · update #1
You tell her you want to be with the father of your child, even though she thinks its a mistake. You tell her that this is your best interest for the child! As long as its in the interest of the child and not you!
2007-01-19 12:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by moon_fariey 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to be honest with both your parents. Sit down quietly with them and tell them that you love this guy and are pregnant and you know they don't approve so you will be moving out. Tell them how much you appreciate all they have done for you and how much you love them. When the baby is born so will "the grandparents" be born. It is amazing how the innocence of a child can bring families together.
PS Consider what it is your mom sees in him that she does not like and be sure before you make the move that he is really the right person for you.
2007-01-19 21:02:29 · answer #2 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you've been trying to act grown up without actually being grown up, or mature.
You are pregnant and living with your mom. Your afraid to tell your mom what your doing.
Get real chickadee. You are too immature to be moving out of your moms house, and definitly too immature to be raising a child.
If you can't even stand up and be honest with your mom?
You've got a lot of growing up to do, and you need to do it at home. If not, you need to at least be mature enough to give your child an honest chance in life, with a loving, mature, grown up, financially stable family. Unfortunately, this does not seem to describe you.
Consider adoption for the sake of your baby. Then you can go play with your boyfriend.
I truly wish you luck.
2007-01-19 21:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by jmiller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no, this is not good. I know you aren't going to like this but I think your mom is right. You are almost me 17 years ago. The man is obviously older then you right. Listen to your mom on this one. You are not going to change him. You are only 23 years old do you really want to be a mother of 4??? Ask yourself that. Of course everything seems peachy right now, but that will be different once you are with him and his kids and your baby comes along. Plus you have to deal with his ex. That will be project in itself. I know you love him and are going to have his baby but in this situation I think you and your baby would be better off without him. You need to ask yourself why he is divorced with 3 kids and even entertaining the thought of having a fourth with you? He should be getting his life together first and marrying you before you even think of having kids. You need to maintain a good relationship with your family in the event things go bad with him, if you don't what happens to you and your baby? Oh wow I am having flash backs now. Trust me on this I have been where you are and no good came out of it. Good Luck let me know if you need anything else...
2007-01-19 21:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by DLo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be honest and tell her that you want to be with the father of your child...tell her that you will visit and it doesn't change anything. that you are still her daughter but that you are growing up and becoming more independent. sometimes parents want to see their child as their child no matter how old they are. but, they will realize that you need your space and you have your own life. just be completely honest and tell her that you have been talking to him. the more honest you are, the more potential there is for you to get along with your parents. if you just move out without saying anything, they will eventually find out and it will be pretty obvious you were talking to him. just be honest and if they are upset...give them some time. make it clear that this is what you have decided and that you just want their best wishes. good luck.
2007-01-19 21:02:43 · answer #5 · answered by kowalley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever seriously, objectively considered why your mom doesn't like him? My mom didn't like my first boyfriend, and it took me three years of marriage and physical and verbal abuse before I figured it out. Mom's aren't stupid. She's got more experience than you with life and men. Give this some serious thought. Do you really want to alienate your parents over a guy? Seriously? Just because he's the father of your baby doesn't mean he's a stellar guy. Any man can impregnate a woman.
2007-01-19 20:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The only way to do it is flat out tell her. Tell her that you are pregnant and be an adult about the whole thing. Don't burn bridges because you are most likely gonna need her help.
2007-01-19 21:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by creerhnter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Lord says we must honour our parents. This will be hard and almost impossible, but ask for a meeting with them both, be honest,say what is in your heart. If they cant accept what you have in your heart, shame on them and pray they end their bitterness. a meeting is always best. ask a priest or school counselor to mediate if you fear, but the truth and honesty is always best for your heart. if they get upset, dont fret, you had the best answer in your heart and as in tough love, move on. who says we have to bow down to others in fear? just be honest and go for it, and if it doesnt work our, know you did your best and remember that and feel secure in knowledge
2007-01-19 21:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be honest with your parents - the sneaking around and keeping secrets is not healthy. Be sure you know what you are doing before you leave.
2007-01-19 21:00:09 · answer #9 · answered by happy_southernlady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your pregnat you can not live with your parents or theyll try to teach you how to raise your own child so what you do is say you wanna move out and if she say no your probably old enough to say well im able to do whayt i want. that simple
2007-01-19 21:02:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋