is this wrong?

Question

My bf has been having alot of problems so had to go back home to sort them out. his phone got stolen while he was there so he emailed me to say he would contact me as soon as he could. a 2 weeks passed and I still hadnt heard from him.! I had to go into hospital because I was sick so my friend contacted one of his friends asking him to pass a message on to my bf if he heard from him. they ended up getting into abit of a argument and my friend told my bf 's friend somethings that she probly shouldn't have. my bf is now blaming this on me and saying if I really cared for him I wouldn't destroy his friendship with his friend. when it wasn't me who contacted his friend in the first place. also during the time I didn't hear from him I was getting phone calls from a girl who said she was married to my boyfriend. I have since found ....

.....out that it is def a lie about him being married but he seems to think that I was trying to investigate him.which isn't the case at all. was my friend wrong to contact his friend and am I wrong for not really understanding what I have done wrong in all of this?

I'd just like to make it clear for a second time that I found out he def IS NOT married. just some crazy girl. but I don't really know how/if he knows the girl.. firstly she told me they were married and had a baby, then she said she just wanted to be with him and then she said she didn't know him at all. he doesn't seem to understand that I go stressed out that I didn't hear from him for so long. I know he had problems but surely it's still wrong to not contact me?

he last called me on monday and because he doesn't have a phone I have no way of contacting him til he contacts me first. I really don't think he understands that this is wrong sometimes. but he is a grown man and surely he should know by now that this is no way to treat someone?

Answer 1

It requires one test to prove that he is cheating...

Go to a public phone that has a number he will not recognize. Dial the number of his supposedly stolen cell phone. If he answers it, he is lying about everything, and you really SHOULD investigate him. If a woman answers, ask for him, and see what happens.

Personally, I think that he is hiding something. The fact that he got very defensive about your trying to contact him while you were hospitalized is very telling. You should not trust him, because of this.

Answer 2

the fact that you are even putting up with this proves you must love this guy very very much. one way of looking at it is he is a very lucky person to be with you because I don't know ANY woman who would put up with this cr*p.

I personally think the way your boyfriend is treating you is actually disgusting and he should be ashamed of himself to treat anybody this way never mind his girlfriend.
if I hadn't heard from my boyfriend for over a day I would think something was wrong never mind 2 WEEKS!.
geez who does this guy think he is.
you did nothing wrong. it seems like you are the only one who isn't at all to blame in this.
your boyfriend is a complete b@st@rd for not calling you for 2 weeks in the first place.
your friend did the right thing by contacting his friend but maybe she was wrong for telling him somethings she should'nt have(like you said)
his friend doesn't sound any better than your boyfriend is by getting into a arguement with your friend just because she contacted him.
your boyfriend should want to know if you are poorly and esp if you are in hospital. maybe he is angry at the things your friend told his friend but this is STILL NO YOUR FAULT.
if he's angry at that he should address that with your friend and not you.
you have done nothing wrong here at all. even if you didn't have to go to hospital it would still be normal to want to contact his friend to make sure your boyfriend is ok.
I'm really sorry but I think your boyfriend is disgusting and he shouldn't be trusted and you deserve alot better.
if you really think he doesn't understand he is doing anything wrong(like you said) next time you see him show him this thead you have made on yahoo so that he can read everone elses answers and can see other people think he is wrong and it isnt just you getting on to him.
the worrying part in all of this is that you have had to ask if this is wrong. you should know that what your boyfriend is doing is very very wrong. he must have some kind of control over you and is messing with your mind. be very careful because this is a type of abuse and can actually be worse than him turning around and hitting you.
don't let him play games with your mind. it seems to me he is feeling guilty about something and is trying to put the blame upon you to try and make himself feel better.
unless he doesn't have a heart AT ALL he will realise what he is doing is wrong. even if he doesn't admit it.
but yes please be very careful because this guy doesn't seem like he can be trusted at all

Answer 3

I think your boyfriend has something to hide or he would not have gotten so upset at you. I wouldn't worry yourself, just concentrate on getting better. You don't need the drama. He shouldn't be causing you stress at a time like this. Not a good way to start a relationship. Rethink if he is worth it. : )

Answer 4

Too complicated! Lose him and lighten up your stress, Sweetiepie! There are so many other really sweet guys in the world that don't come with all that baggage to deal with! Life is way too short to tangle with all this drama! You deserve to be happier than this!

Answer 5

It seems that your boyfriend has a life you know nothing about and his anger towards you is a way to keep you from finding out about it.

Answer 6

No it s not wrong you needed to get a message to him and are there no other phones where he is.

Answer 7

I think he's married

Answer 8

Oh Jesus, lose this guy. For real.