My parents divorced when I was 5. They were only married for like a year. My dad left and I have not seen him since. My mom says he always paid child support but me and my sister haven't seen him since. My mom wont tell me where he is. Should I try to find him? I'm 18.
2007-01-19 12:38:06 · 12 answers · asked by J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If it is important to you, then yes.
2007-01-19 12:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by pepsiolic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel it in your heart, do it! You don't need our answers. Deep down inside, you know what you should do. It's not what people may or may not be telling you to do. You probably already have your convictions. I'll tell you a little bit about myself and try to be a bit transparent, though I don't want to direct you in any way to do what I or my sister have done, because every situation is different. You may never know the complete story until you have heard both sides to the story. I did not see my Dad for many years growing up until I flew out to see him. I was a little younger than you. Now, I'm about your age. We have seen each other off and on, but now we are very close. Regardless of the situations that have occurred in the past between my Dad and Mom, I love them both and do not place blame on either. I have chosen to forgive my parents and move forward. I want to be a part of their lives and them mine. Today, our relationship is great. Of course there is always room for improvement, but we are all really close. It took a lot of time, a lot of prayer, and trusting God, but we have made it through many dry seasons, even though we are so far apart. I will be relocating soon. My sister also has within the last month reunited with her Dad after 21 years. He never paid child support, didn't know he was the father. However, he stepped way up and became her Daddy overnight. They have communicated, made it through tough times, and are very very close. It's unbelievable. I want others to share the same special moments that me and my sister have. It may be possible for you. Pray about it. And if it's something you want to do, do it. I found my sister's father way across the states. I used a website called peoplefinders.com. I found my sister's grandma and called her, visited her, then her Dad called while we were at her house, and as they say, the rest is history. Finding him is not the hardest part. There is a lot of pieces that are broken and need mending, but it's always possible. If you meet him, don't make excuses for him, forgive him, love him, listen, and share. Be the child, but stand up and be who you are and do not compromise. No matter how old you are, you can still learn something new from your Dad. I didn't always know that I was loved, but I do now. I wish you the best and I will be praying for you and yours!
2007-01-20 02:58:14 · answer #2 · answered by What's Up? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should try and find him. He sounds like a great dad if he is paying child support. It is so wrong for your mother to keep him away from you. We live in a society where most of our kids are being raised by single parents, mostly being the mother. A boy needs his father early in life. I think it is great you want to seek him out. He might think you have forgotten him. But don't be surprised if he has a new family. You have to prepare yourself for the unexpected so you won't be disappointed. when you find him, communicate by phone, email, letters before you initially meet him. Good luck with your search.
2007-01-19 20:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by Girls M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really feel the need to find him I say do it. Realize though that there may be a real reason why your mother has not or will not tell you where he is. Just make sure your ready for anything. If you tell your mother your going to pursue this on your own she might offer you a little more insight as to why she has been hiding his where abouts from you for so long.
2007-01-19 20:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by hthr_1974 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I think you should to get to know him and to ask questions. I think it is important for children/adults to know their families. Apparently, he thought of you all each month because he paid child support. So, go for it.
2007-01-19 20:43:10 · answer #5 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's whats going to make you happy. Do it! If it's something you've always wanted to do then do it! If not then don't.
But if hes like a drug addict then dont
I mean just pray hes a good guy!
I bet he is.To have a son like you
Good Luck =)
2007-01-19 20:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by missaidanx33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, go find him since u are of age and see what he is like.
your moma probably knows where he is or the child support enforcement really knows where he is if she has been getting child support.
2007-01-19 20:43:43 · answer #7 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's entirely up to you. Make sure you are prepared for the worst case scenario. He may not want to see you, and he may have remarried. He may be in jail. He may not be the man you think he is.
2007-01-19 20:52:10 · answer #8 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea man I would for sure Good Luck
2007-01-19 20:43:24 · answer #9 · answered by rickkritcher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe your mum doesnt know.
if she does talk to her in more detail, mention to her its important to you and really its your right! tell her you appreciate all she has done and it must have been difficult for her but you just want to know that part of your life.
2007-01-20 06:40:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋