I have been thinking about adopting a child in the future, and I'm only 18. I mean, why bring a child to the world when you know you can make a difference in another kids life? If you were one of my parents, would you treat the child that I adopted as your very own grand child? Or treat him/her differently because he/she did not share the same blood as you and I? I'm curious...what would you do?
2007-01-19 12:21:18 · 27 answers · asked by sunshine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Let me ask you this...do you have a pet? Do you love that pet? Have you ever dealt with a pet dying? Did you ever stop and think, "gee this pet is not related to me so I love it less?"
Now translate that to a real live, thinking, breathing, glorious human being. Trust me, after a very short time you will not even think about not having given birth to him/her. And your parents won't either (that is, if you know them to be decent and loving people). At first the notion sounds a bit foreign, but when that little one looks at you, smiles, gives you hugs and kisses, and calls you by name your whole world changes for the better.
Good for you for thinking this way. Now we just need more people to actually give their kids up for adoption instead of aborting them.
2007-01-23 15:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by Pamela P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the position of perhaps becoming a grandparent in the next few years. My daughter and her husband want to adopt also and for similar reasons as you do. They want to adopt a child from India or China, most likely China since my son's fiance is from Hong Kong and they definitely want children of their own someday. Then my daughter's child would look very much like his/ her cousins.
If this all comes about, I will have no problem with their child. I know that their child will be so incorporated into who they are that I will love him/her just the same as I will love my son's natural children.
When all is said and done in this life, who are we to say that an adopted child should not be loved the same as a natural born one. How terrible for someone to deny a child the rights it deserves as an innocent little traveler through this world. Once your parents hold your child and are involved in his/her life, I think the love will come naturally.
Maybe your parents have some issues about this that you should discuss with them. It would be good if everyone is in agreement before the event occurs and you can feel assured that there will not be problems arising down the line.
All my best wishes to you as you approach this decision.
2007-01-27 05:41:05 · answer #2 · answered by Pru 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that most people would treat an adopted grandchild the same as they would a biological grandchild.
If your parents have stated they feel they wouldn't be able to do this, give them time. They may be surprised at their own reaction.
Don't borrow trouble and don't worry about that. When you get to the place where you want to be a parent, you should focus on what it means for you to be a parent. Are you ready for that commitment. Is that what you really want. Once you've made your decision you should look at the good in your life and find your joy and happiness.
2007-01-27 07:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by kindness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is what you make it. No matter if it's a blood relation, step, or adopted. If you're a decent person you accept that child or teen as if they were your own flesh and blood.
I'm totally on the same page as you. I always thought of adoption because there are so many abandoned and orphaned children right where you live. Remember foster parenting is good too.
Back to the main question. Here's my personal example: my parents divorced when I was 15, my step-parents never treated me any different than their blood children, nor did my step-grandmother (God rest her soul). They love(d) us all the same.
Family is what you make it and love is what makes it work.
2007-01-19 12:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by thymus_x_citriodorus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i am going through that right now my son met a girl that already had a child and i am going to treat him like hey is my grandson even if he is blood i do not not think that they way the child comes into someone life should make a differences they all should be loved the same by your parents good luck
2007-01-27 06:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by mary m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would treat the child as my own grandchild. Parents have a way of spoiling kids no matter what age and who they come from. Grandparents will learn about the child's personality and what they like and dislike. Kids just have a way of winning the most steal hearted person.
2007-01-19 12:26:27 · answer #6 · answered by Sandra C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand where you are coming from. If I were one of your parents I would treat the child as if it was that you created yourself!
In my eyes Adoptive parents CHOOSE a child to love and guide through life
2007-01-25 18:43:59 · answer #7 · answered by bynni_c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want to know why my daughter at 18 is thinking of being a parent rather then collage, a career, going on vacation, ect. Most parents would like to see there children happily married and in a strong relationship and then have a family. This may seem old fashion but, a child need 2 parents and why would you want to do it aone.
2007-01-26 02:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are a blessing no matter how they come into your life. Blood is a technicality. I admire you for being so wise and unselfish at your age. Your parents will probably be proud of your decision. But don't completely write off having a child the conventional way, it is an amazing experience. Best of luck.
2007-01-27 04:53:54 · answer #9 · answered by adondeesta1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would treat the child as my own family. Families shouldn't be defined by "blood". That is the most ridiculous notion we have come to live by. If you choose to define family by blood, then family really just boils down to DNA strands. Period. Big deal, right?
Family is deeper than that. The word used to be "Tribe" . When a person is a member of a tribe, they are a part of a "whole". Members of the tribe (family) are actually there by choice. They choose to live, and love, and exist as one.
When a family is defined by the word blood, they are there, not by choice, not by love, but by the random selection of genetic material.
If my children choose to adopt a child, or many, then those children will be my grandchildren; and I will welcome them, not only into my home, but into my heart. Into my family. Into the tribe.
Great question. Thank you for asking.
2007-01-19 12:36:44 · answer #10 · answered by jmiller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋