Do you spank your child? if so at what age did you start? and how did your parents discipline you?

Question

This is for a class paper so i am not looking for advice i am looking for peoples life experiences

so far i have learned that many people do actually spank their children still, and a spanking is generally defined by using your hand, and leaving a red mark that last no longer then ten minutes. and seem to begin this at around one year of age.

I am compairing the next generations dicapline tactics to my own generations; as a child, personally, my mother used a switch or a wooden spoon and she'd tan my hide, so to speak. fearing the willow tree was common because parents with a willow tree would share with parents without. but i am wondering how todays standard of discipline stands. and i don't ever remember being too young to recieve a spanking. though my mother disagrees. heh..

thanks everyone for your imput it should make an interesting compairable paper.

I just have to add this for piece of mind, I love my mother very much! though she spanked us, we where usually being rotten at the time. and we all love and respect her. (mom would be mad if i hadn't added this)

Answer 1

Though a lot of people think I am over simplistic I am a BIG advocate of spanking.

I was spanked as a kid. However, when I went to college I was convinced by liberal education and psychology professors that it was a terrible thing.

After I had my own I gradually changed my tune. I am now kind of a nutty radical advocate of it (and always anwer these questions when I see them here).

I have done some studies of the research that "spanking destroys kids and society". It is all either inconclusive or deeply flawed. There are actually very good studies (which we never hear about in the media or from the pop psychologists) that spanking is the MOST effective way to get kids to comply with their parent's wishes and does not cause any harm. If you want to look at this I discussed it on my blog: http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

I beleive a lot of us younger parents are spanking more. We realize that the no-spanking experiment of the 1950's was a dismal failure and are just sick and tired of all the spoiled brats and the Nanny 911 nonsense.

I think around 18 months is old enough that a couple of swats can do a world of good at times. Especially at that age I think it is much more effective on the bare fanny. I have a small paddle I use--but with real young kids a hand is quite sufficient.

Answer 2

I got spanked once. I don't remember what I did, but it must have been horrible. I was probably 8 or 9. (I was born in 81.)

My kids are 9 and 5. The 9 year old was spanked a few times when she was younger, but it didn't work so she wasn't spanked again. My younger wasn't spanked until a few weeks ago, but boy did it work. I've only used spanking as a LAST resort when nothing else was working. I don't like the idea of spanking, and would never do it on a regular basis.

Answer 3

It depends on the misdeed, and likely the society you live in. I got whipped till my 15 (and considered it deserved and didn’t like my parents less for it) – but that's more than 40 years ago…. A smack for the bottom for ordinary willful disobedience, till a year of five. The spankings I gave after age 6 were rare and far between, limited to severe misbehaviour. The last, I gave at age 12 (shoplifting) and age 13 (vandalism). I think they were the only ones after age 10 (I have four children). They had been given the choice for alternative punishments, and choose a spanking. They are big adults now, and love us, so it shouldn’t be too bad.

Answer 4

I was spanked as a child, but never with any object except an open palm. My parents would delegate a certain number of spanks depending on how "bad" I was.

I spank my 3 1/2 year old only after he has already served a timeout for the same behavior he is getting spanked for. He never gets more than 1 spank at a time.

Answer 5

My parents were great. But if we got really out of line we got spanked. At what age? gee. i don't know. At whatever age we decided to not listen. We hardly ever got it. Usually just yelled at.
My kids on the other hand, they got smacked and I had a wooden spoon. 3 wacks on the fanny, with my hand, if they didn't listen when we were in public. Didn't care who was looking. They wanna act up right then and there then they were gonna get it right then and there. But you have to understand that I had an extremely high breaking point. Unless they hurt someone or ruined someone's belongings then they didn't get it. I would just ground them or something. And as far as the spoon. It was a funny thing. They got it once or twice and then after that all I had to do was show it to them and they would stop dead in their tracks. Didn't have to use it. It was a fear factor. something kids these days don't have. I turned out to be an extremely well liked person. I am always told I'm a good person. (I don't take compliments well). Anyway. My kids were pretty good. Definetly boys but they know right from wrong. And whether they chose to use it that way at least they know when they are right and when they are being as*es. Now my grandchildren come over and think they can put one over on me. Well. Recently they realized that I have a very high breaking point. But when it hits, so do I. They get spanked. 3 times, hard on the *** with my hand. I also have them trained to the spoon too.
At what age? gee. Once the kids start venturing around and learning to touch is where I started. I tell them no a couple of times. I smack their hand lightly and hopefully they get the hint. But if it was a repeat offense and it seemed like they kept doing it just to show they could? Then that is when I showed them they couldn't. I know that I had the spoon out before my younger son was 2. I remember a day that he took it off the table from where I had set it down. My back was turned and he picked it up and shook it at me. I thought my older son was gonna die of laughter. I turned around to see this 2 year old shaking a spoon at me. I said, OH YEA? He dropped the spoon and ran. We all were laughing after that. It was funny.
I would say that as far as an age there isn't one specific age. When they start walking and investigating their surroundings. Good luck with the paper. Hope this helped.
by the way. My kids and my grandkids love the hell out of me. So spanking isn't as bad as it sounds. Provided that it is for a deed done poorly and not for pleasure of hitting. I don't like it but it was obvious to all that whatever the problem was, it shouldn't happen again. Like I said. It was a fear factor. You know yourself if you are afraid of something you will do what it takes to not have to deal with it. Take jail for instance.

Answer 6

My father "spanked" me with his belt. My wife never got spanked (and to this day her parents discourage us from spanking our kids).
We spank, and have spanked since the moment we realized that our children knew right from wrong. We typically only spank if it is an issue of disobedience, or in a case of life/death (walking into the street, etc...). We never spank in anger, trying instead to calm down before the "act". We also talk to our kids about why they are getting a spanking, and that we do it because we love them.

So far it has seemed to work well with our kids, and I believe they have gained a level of respect for us, because of how we approach it.

Answer 7

Yes I spanked my kids about as soon as they begin moving around and getting into things. I used my hand mostly but at one time had a nice wooden paddle.

I on the other hand was never spanked by my parents.

I'm raising grandchildren now and since the latest rage is time outs I have tried them ,,,,I am now looking for my nice wooden paddle. It seems to be the best thing going!!!

Answer 8

For bad behavior, my parents spanked me with the belt until I was 13 (I was a bad kid...). I can still be kind of difficult, but I'm glad they did what they did. I could have turned out way worse. I've seen firsthand what time-out and talking can do to a kid--NOTHING. My cousins were all put in time-out and their parents talked to them, but they were still bratty and bad. And when I eventually have kids, I will probably spank too.

Answer 9

I myself was supposedly disciplined by corporate punishment by my father and several times beaten badly needing medical help.To this day we have a very distant relationship because of it.
I now have a lovely 5 year old daughter. I am a single parent and have never resorted to needing to spank her. We have a close relationship , when she does something wrong or does not do what she was told simply raising my voice with a serious tone can bring her to tears without even touching her , she knows in these cases that she was wrong and corrects her inaction right away.She is usually happy and well behaved so I guess I'm lucky.Some children that are totally out of control I can see the possible benefit of spanking.If the parent(s) disciplinary style is good and the child is good I don`t see any reason to have to spank your child.

Answer 10

When I was a child my father was a drill sergeant and saw no difference between his children and his recruits, so my brothers and I were raised with a very military style discipline, my father rarely spanked..... The one thing I do recall was a time when I was 15, my friends and I got caught stealing beer from a convenience store, I was expecting a spanking when I got home, instead my dad took me out back and punched me right in the mouth, I said" WTF" and he hit me again, he said he would keep punching me till I hit him back, so I did, then he beat the attitude out of me, it was the last time I ever stole anything.....That was the best thing my dad could have done............. I never had a need to spank my son, but I probably would have if it was necessary.