Is this rape or what is this and can you help.?

Question

Aaron and i were really happy and he was going to ask me to marry him on christmas. I left for St. George and we kind of left at the end of a small fight. Well when i came back he was acting so strange and like it was hard to kiss him. Well this was 1 month before christmas and he called and said lets break up i was like ok whatever but then like the next day he acted like nothing happened (he was my bro's best friend) well i was sitting on the couch and he started kissing me and it ended up in the bedroom and he took my virginity I didn't want him to he just kept saying its all right it will be ok we are back together if i get you pregnant than i will marry you. He didn't use anything and i just thought after ok we are back together well the NEXT DAY i went to give him a kiss and he was like get away from me we are not together so i knew i had been used. Now my bro lives with him and i feel used and ready to cry this was not that long ago :( Is it rape what do i do?

Answer 1

I'm sorry hon, but that was rape.

The most important thing is that you don't feel guilty and that you don't blame yourself. It was not your fault at all, and you did not deserve what happened to you.

What you need to do is get yourself back together and go to the authorities. You should call the police and tell them what happened, bring charges against him. You should do it quickly before most of the physical evidence is gone (though testimony is often enough). You have to do this because if he gets away with it, he will do this again and there will be other victims.

Edit: The fact that you didn't fight him more doesn't make it voluntary!! I know some people here are saying that "oh you let him" but they don't know what it can be like under that kind of emotional stress and trouble. If you told him no and he does it anyway it doesn't matter if you fight back (most rape victims don't fight) or physically resist.

You can always call your mother for more help.

Answer 2

If you clearly said "NO", then it is rape. It couldn't be a soft...nooo....don't....like that. You had to be forceful, "NO, STOP". And if there is no evidence, it is your word against his.

I highly doubt if you went to trial you would get a guilty verdict, just my opinion. For instance, you would have to walk through the whole situation. You said it started on the couch with kissing, and "ended up" in the bedroom.

The defense attorney will want to know how exactly did that happen. Did he put you over his shoulder and carry you there? Who took off the clothes? If you file rape charges, and I'm not saying you shouldn't if you said "NO", you have to be prepared to tell the truth on the stand as to how everything went down. And I mean everything. These things are never pretty.

Now, if you are pregnant, definitely don't marry the jerk, but sue him for child support. That can be proven through DNA.

Good luck!

Answer 3

sorry i would say no to being rape. you never said NO!. how old are you. there are laws out there, if you are under age and depending on how old he is, he could be charged.
the way you explained what went on, you may not of wanted to do it but you went along with it, you were on a couch and then ended up in the bedroom he did not force you there did he, if he had you should have bruises ect so you went along with it and didnt say no didnt try to get away didnt put up a fight.
what do you do? if your under age and he is over a certain age you(your parents)can charge him.
as far as not being protected well the conspuences can be very bad so if i was you i would get myself checked for the usual diseases hepatitis aids herepes what ever. as far as bieng pregnant time will tell.
I know you dont want to hear this but i hope this experience stays with you so in the future you will make it clear no if your not intrested and if you are into it always use protection and never rely on the guy it is you who has to give birth to a child and be responisble for it.
NEVER NEVER let a guy say it will be ok if you dont want to say NO! if he persists get up and leave the premisis.

Answer 4

No, it's not rape. You allowed him to manipulate you, because he said what you wanted to hear. Not once did you struggle and mention in your written statement that you said "no."

Now, that you were played a fool, you cry rape. Rape is a very serious punishment by law. That kid could end up in prison because you testified that he had sex with you against your will. It could ruin the rest of his life. So, think twice before you go ruining his life, his parents lives, his familie's lives etc.

Obviously, the both of you have some growing up to do.

How do you move on and stop crying about it? You are not pregnant, you will never have sex with him again, and now you are that much the wiser of game playing horny boys.

Take the mature path and see a councilor or psychologist to help you to move on and forgive his actions so that you can meet a very nice man who will treat you with respect.

Answer 5

No it was not rape. Only when you say no and mean it and the guy keeps on any way and takes you by force is it rape. Mark this down as a lesson in life. Too bad you had to learn the hard way. From now on think twice and don't be so easy with ANY ONE. I have one question, how did you know he was going to ask you to marry him at Christmas?

Answer 6

Any time a guy has sex with you against your will, it's rape, period. If you tell him "No," and he doesn't stop, it's rape. Doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship with him or not.

Too many men continue to rape women because the women worry that they did something to cause the rape, and therefore don't report it or raise their concerns to anyone (including the guy).

It's natural to be hurt...because he hurt you, physically and emotionally. Stand up for yourself. It's the right thing to do. Don't be ashamed or scared. If you don't feel comfortable going to the police, confide in your friends and brother, and at the very least, go to the guy and tell him how you feel.

Do not continue a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you. There are plenty of great guys out there who will treat you like the goddess you are... :-)

Good luck!

Answer 7

Did you tell him no? If you did than it is rape. If not you were suckerd into it. and I feel so sorry for you that it happened for you this why. It has happened to a lot my friends and it is a very sad thing. it can also affect the way that you look at men and sex for that matter. I know that you probably feel like a huge a** for letting this happen. but my best advise to you is to when you see him act like he doesnt exsit.. He is not worth your time and energy. If he asks you about it. tell him that it sucked. bruse his ego a little bit for what he did to you. Don't let this event affcect you in a negative way. Turn it into some positive

Answer 8

This man is a "Bryan". I knew a Bryan in my life that did the very same thing to me. I studied up on men like this so listen up. One, he used you for his own avarices. Two, you may have been serious about this guy who kept playing your emotions and eventually ripped you of your virginity for his own sexual greed. It burns me to see my sisters get used like this. Girl, you were raped, godddamit. This man had no intention of being your man after sex, nor did he plan to father any baby from you. These are manwhores. It's actually a worldly infestation. Men who sleep with any and everyone in full belief in pleasure and none in punishment. Believe me, you were blessed for not getting pregnant or diseased by that "Bryan" and he'll be punished for his actions in his own destruction. Let God give it time lol. In the meantime, you can go to the police about this because a man like this should not be able to spread his infestation to any other females.

Answer 9

Either the sex was forced upon you, or it wasn't. You can't just call rape if you didn't like the sex or if he made you mad. That's not rape and it will never hold up in court. I promise you that. People get used all the time but it's not rape. You think about it and decide if it was rape. But DAMMIT I wouldn't wait too long. It sounds like the evidence is probably already gone, depending on how long you've waited.

Answer 10

Well just stay away from him. If he almost did the r word then stay away from him.

In case he does it again.

Oh yeah also ignore him in case he wants to speak to you then don't talk to him.

And don't cry either since your bro is best friends with Aaron and your bro doesn't live with you anymore in case he comes over with your bro and he asks 4 you say that your not here or just say nothing!!