I know this guy - we'll call him Sam to protect his identity. He's a close friend and a colleague of one of my closest friends - let's call her Emma.
Until this week I hadn't seen Sam in a while as he had been overseas traveling. We had tried to keep in touch while he was away but didn't for whatever reason - mainly not having the correct phone numbers for each other!
Anyway, we met up this week, and since then he has been texting me a lot and has invited me to go visit him in Italy for the weekend. Emma says that he really likes me and that if I went to Italy to see him, he would assume that I was going to shag him. However, I am so not interested. I like hanging out with him, because he is really smart and funny. But I am not interested in that way.
What should I do? Tell him that I'm not interested, or get Emma to tell him? Just ignore his texts? As I said, I like hanging out with him a lot and would like us to be friends, but not sure that this is possible at this point.
2007-01-19 11:38:16 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you go, you should clear things up first and see if he still wants you to go. If he says no, don't feel bad. Sometimes it's torture for guys to be around girls they want but who don't want them.
Also, bring enough money for a room/to get home immediately, in case things go bad. I went on a trip to see a guy that went horribly wrong once, and wished I could've cut the trip short.
2007-01-19 11:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by sarcastro1976 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would say that you should tell him that you are not interested in him. This would mean that you cannot be accused of leading him on. Having been through a similar situation a number of times myself, I would say that it would be best if you spent less time hanging out with him, as he would take this as signs of interest on your part. Also once you have let him know that you aren't interested in him in that way, then you should ignore his texts for a while. Mainly because it gives him time to cool down and get used to the fact that you are not interested in him. After all some men assume that if you talk to them and hang out with them that you are interested in them. So it is best to make completely sure that you don't let hm assume that. I hope everything goes ok, and don't let him make you feel guilty for not talking to him, if you have to change your number, so then if he asks, you have the perfect excuse of him not having the right number to contact you on. Good luck!
2007-01-19 19:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by wiccanfairiekitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the answer to ur question is YES, even though it may be a little difficult at first.
firstly, u dun have to ignore his texts. continue building this friendship of yours with sam. like u said, u like hangin out with him a lot n would like u guys to be friends.
secondly, leave emma outta tis.
thirdly, i think u ought to talk to sam about italy. tell him u are interested in hanging out with him n being friends. juz tell him the truth n let nature take its course. if he really likes u, i think he will know how to respect u.
if all things work well, i hope u enjoy ur trip to italy n hav a good time hangin out with sam. ;p
2007-01-20 07:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by jolyn7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to not go to Italy. Like you said, you two hang out a lot, so there will be plenty of opportunities for you to see each other, but being to a place you're not as familiar with you won't have many places to go if you get stuck in a rut.
2007-01-19 11:43:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget Emma, becuae if she doesnt beleive that you wont shagg him, shes not worth talking to if she doesnt trust you! I say go with Sam to Italy, because only you are capable knowing what you think, feel, and do.
2007-01-19 11:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by Allure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although I have never been in this situation myself. A number of my friends have and have complained to me endlessly for years about the girl who wants only to be friends.
Put yourself in his shoes, he goes home every night thinking I want to get with Emma, how will I do it? You cant be friends until he gets over it. You have to stop him....you may like the attention...who wouldnt.
Its just not fair on him. He needs to get on with his life.
2007-01-19 12:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by Andrew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go give him the shag of his life then tell him you're not interested in him.
Ta Da!! Friend for life, if you like puppys
2007-01-19 11:43:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too sure that he wants to shag you. Girlfriends can talk a load of ****. Many guys I know have friends who are girls and don't fancy them but simply find them ideal friends. Remember that guys can relax with girls more and don't have to act tough.
2007-01-19 11:53:03 · answer #8 · answered by Chris M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys tend to go for girls they like as friends and can handle it if the girl just wants to be friends... be a little heart broken at first but would be happier not loosing his best mate. Also helps if you help him to find somone else.
Dont dump him. say you like him as a mate, a good mate but no touchy kissy stuff
2007-01-19 21:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a girl can be just friends with a guy who fancies her.
The question is can the guy who fancies her be just friends.
If he can accept that you will only ever be friends then you should be fine.
If he cannot it will only hurt him or evolve into trouble sooner or later.
2007-01-19 11:45:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋