Help! I HATE my sister!!?

Question

I am the older of two children, and I am, quite frankly, miserable. My sister often gets beter treatment than I do, and when my parents say to "point it out" when this happens, I do. But I get screamed at! I have heard that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but she is only two years younger than me and copies everything I do!!! With one exception, when I do it, I get disapproval, when she does it, she gets praise! My friends and even my enemies agree with me! I feel as though I am going to EXPLODE! Please help me!

Answer 1

Alot of times, the younger sibling gets treated like "the baby" and the older one is expected to be..well..older. I don't know how old you are, but don't hate your sister because your parents treat her differently. It's their fault, not hers.

Since you don't say how old you are, you have to keep in mind one thing...at some point, you're going to be out and on your own, and she will always be treated like "the baby". She'll hate it.

Focus on getting good grades, and getting into a good college. Set the bar high for her, so she has to really work at "being you". Chances are she's more than a little jealous that you're older and really just wants you to like her. That's why she wants to BE you.

I know it's not easy, but it really isn't her fault. She's just easier to blame than your parents are.

Answer 2

You're not going to want to hear this, but here it is:

1. I say this as the youngest of three children: she imitates you because you're her older sister, and she looks up to you. You think she's doing it to be manipulative or offensive, but she's doing it because she wants to be like you. That's how younger siblings are. The bad news is, if you see her being snotty, or manipulative, or whatnot, it's probably because she sees YOU doing it, and she's trying to be like you.

2. I say this as a parent: you think your parents are treating you differently for some unfair reason, but your views of their treatment differences can be divided into two camps:

Camp one -- they know your sister is behaving as she does because she looks up to you, and that impacts the way they view the behavior, mainly because they love you so much. Heck, you could throw a rock through a window, and they'd punish you -- and if your little sister then did the same thing, they'd punish her, but also think "oh my god, isn't that adorable, she was imitating her older sister! that's so sweet! I love our kids, and I love that our youngest wants to be like our oldest", and so their anger will be tempered somewhat.

Camp two -- you're still a kid, hard as that is to believe, and so your judgement of things is very you-focused. At this point in your life, you think everything -- and I mean EVERYTHING -- is about you in some way. That's normal and appropriate, but that also impacts how you view things, so you're unable to see your little sister do anything without comparing it to you, and making it about you. The good news is that you'll probably outgrow that behavior soon, but the bad news is some people never do, and they make lousy adults.

Where camp two gets tough is when you look at the way she's treated, and compare it to the way you're treated in the same circumstances. To you, it's "she's treated better than me", but what you're really comparing -- and this is important -- is how you felt when YOU were treated that way, versus how you felt when SHE was treated that way. That simply means you'll always feel like you got the short end of the stick, even if the treatment is identical, because it always feels worse TO YOU when it's directed at you than when it's directed at her. You're comparing apples and oranges.

Finally, as for the ready to explode part; you're getting older, and you're starting to deal with hormones, and thus emotions that often run out of control and overwhelm you. That's, again, NORMAL, but it sucks. It'll be years before you get through it, and there will be lots of other things besides your sister that trigger these feelings.

Hang in there.

Answer 3

Your anger will not get you the attention you want. It will only deepen what ever beliefs your family have about you.

She copies you because she loves you and see that it will get her positive attention. So you must be doing something right. However, your anger gets you noticed. Do this: be quick to hear and slow to speak and slow to anger. You may discover the key to your desire.

Ask your mom for a date with you, and at the appropiate time, share your heart. If all else fails, have everyone sit down and look at Nanny911.

Peace.

Answer 4

You did not say what your ages were - so it is hard to decide quite how to answer your complaint - do you have a family member on your side that can talk to your parents or maybe a family friend - but quite frankly I can't see someone talking to them really doing any good - because I have tried this myself - several times and it hasn't worked - maybe your sister will get out of that bratty stage soon and then you will miss it!@~

Answer 5

i have the same thing, except my brother's a lot younger than me, and people always say 'you'd think with such a big age difference, they'd fight less' and that annoys me so much. my brother drives me nuts. my advice is to spend more time away from home, and that way things will get less tense. try asking your mom or dad if they want to go ice skating o take a walk with you, without your sister. don't listen to what everyone's saying that you'll miss her later, because that hasn't happened yet with me. i should know-i'm probably really close to your age. my brother has complete personality changes. one minute he's all cuddly and cute, and the next he's this maddening knowitall. i don't want to be his hero. i don't even like him

Answer 6

Sounds like u are a little jealous of your sister which is normal
and natural.
Get along with your sister cause one day u both will be grown up and call each other up and u want good memories to talk about, not fussin and bad memories.
teach your sis good stuff, cause u are older and an inspiration to your sister, always hug your sister and tell her u love her.

Answer 7

I would just be honest with your parents if they don't take your opinions into consideration then they aren't open parents and need to learn that all kids need an identity and that by her coping you, in your own way you are being violated and it is already hard being a teenager!

Answer 8

I wish i could have a sister of my own instead of 2 little step sisters who the oldest is only in grade3.

I would prob just mention it out point it out to them when you first do something. Chat to your sister about it see what she says.

Answer 9

Tell your sister to just Drop It! Try doing something that will get you praised, and HER yelled at!

Answer 10

I noe how you feel, slap your sister around a little show her whos boss and whos the oldest!