what do you think about people who say that your not a real parent if you only have one child ?

Question

I mean I understand where there coming from because it'ssooo much easier if you only have one child compared to 2,3, or more.

Answer 1

It may be easier because a parent with only one child only has to deal with the typical (and sometimes unique) situations that come along with children once, instead of several times with different kids. It might be easier, but that doesn't make you any less of a parent. You still deal with the same things, including everything from giving birth (or adopting, in some cases) to taking a child to piano lessons or something to paying for school. A "real parent" is anyone who has claim to a child.
What defines a parent though? Merriam-Webster Dictionary says that a parent is: 1 a : one that begets or brings forth offspring, or b : a person who brings up and cares for another. That doesn't say anything about plural offspring.
I'd say you're being pretty laid-back about it - if someone said something like that to me I'd probably be a little more upset than that. Good job :)

Answer 2

I THINK IT IS ABSOLUTLY SELFISH AND RUDE... How dare anyone say that your not a real mum if have only one child...

It can be equally as hard with one child, sometimes even harder. Someone can have 12 "perfect" children while another family can have just one child who needs much more attention and care than the other families 12 put together....

I know that my 6 week old daughter is a pretty hard baby to care for as she has really bad colic and is lactose intolerant... I was breast feeding her and couldnt work out why my newborn was constantly screaming in agony.. I took her to my GP and it was found that she couldnt have Lactose....

But the colic, there is nothing I can do about that.. Just hope and pray that she grows out of it soon.. :)

Naomi

I mean, do they think there the 'REAL' mums because they went and did it a second, third sometimes even 6 times more?

Answer 3

That's like when someone said I wasn't really a mother because I wasn't married....like doing it with TWO parents makes it more realistic! That is a spiteful, ignorant, arrogant thing to say. Sure it's more work if you have more than one kid, but there is NO ONE else to entertain your child but you, and of course their toys and imagination. It's harder for the child in some ways because they don't always have a precedence for how to deal with peers, and no immediate, built-in peer counselor if they have a problem, and no sibling bonding (not a requirement but I've heard it makes a lot of difference). The person who told you that has got a lot of nerve. I only have one daughter, she is mildly autistic, and I raise her myself and pay all my bills myself, go to a full time-job, pick her up after school and daycare, and still find time to COOK a meal, eat it together, and have time to read, play, take baths, and sing to her. That she has no siblings makes her no less valid than a child from a larger family. I dare anyone to tell me I'm not a real parent!

Answer 4

I think it doesn't matter the # of children, you are a parent. That is a weak attempt at trying to make them seem better than you because they had more kids. I only have one...Everyone that I know that has more than one has it easier because the kids play amongst each other... I think being a "real" parent of any number of kids 1, 2 ,4 16, at any age, of any race is hard, because we all (or at least most of us) want the same thing, healthy, happy, loving children. I think anyone who would belittle someones parenting ability based on the # of kids said person has had, is absurd!!! I would just ignore such ignorant criticism.

Answer 5

Anyone who says you aren't a real parent has absolutely no idea what they are talking about. Whether you are a parent of 1 or 7, you will share in the same tribulations, same pride and same challenges. In some cases, such as mine..my step mother had no children of her own but raised me better than either of my parents. So don't let someone say you aren't really a parent regardless of how many children you have. They have no idea what it takes to be a parent if they have the audacity to say that to you.

Answer 6

A parent is a parent. Anyone who says otherwise is crazy. From the minute you begin taking care of your first child you are a real parent. You earn your "real parent" status when you do what your child needs. It has nothing to do with quantity of children just quality of care.

Answer 7

I think that's awful for someone to say and that's very presumptuous and rude. I only have one daughter right now (19 months old) and she is a very happy little girl. I am not sure if your question was meant to criticize parents with only one child or not based on your verbage but, having 2+ kids doesn't automatically make it more difficult or make that particular parent better. If I ever heard someone say that to me, I would pity them for feeling that way....pathetic and closed minded.....

Answer 8

Well once you have a kid there is no turning back you are a parent! I don't think it's any harder having three then it was when I only had one in fact it gets easyier the more you have personaly.

But once a parent always a parent ask mine they still try to pull the mom or dad card on occasion.

Answer 9

I have never heard anyone say that before. If you have a child that makes you a parent and a real one at that.

Answer 10

i think such idiots need to be told the difference between what a "real" parent is , and a human incubator. just about anyone can be sperm deposit boxes and mass produce - only a few are "real" parents in true sense of the word. and it has nothing to do with passing on a gene pool.