thankyou to everyone that answred my question, an i have tried to talk with my bf he wont listen says im stupid. or twists things an he has even addmited he twists things to blame me because he is good at it. says its his way not to show affection but he spends more time looking at other women. an saying how nice thety r. it all hurts i used to have so much confidence i know i need to find someone to love me but im scared to leave in case i never do. and i do still love him but just want some love back. but thank u every one 4 yr kind advice an i hope i get strong enough to leave 4 me and my girls thank u all x
2007-01-19 10:27:38 · 7 answers · asked by lizjess2000 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you love a good hiding, if you are a wonderful masochist, then you are in the right place - with him.
Unless you are an incredible altruistic person, willing to forgo yourself, self fulfilment and let what love an affection you have pour out onto base concrete, then you are wasting your time and in the right place there, with him.
Seemingly, what you have to offer is not what he wants and is similar to your painting a wonderfully colour painting to someone you know who is not only colour blind, but who is really just not interested in you and , your skill as an artist.
You may well be 'stupid' - in his terms, but then he doesn't seem to have the correct number of parts. So I really wouldn't put much faith or value on his opinions.
He won't listen - because that would mean his having to 'apply himself to what's being said' (= spending efforts that are too much for him - and anyway, he's not just interested):
He twist things to blame you 'because he is so good at it' and because, like the Child, he HAS to blame someone other than himself for what goes wrong, simply because he hasn't the maturity to be responsible.
And anyway, it's the 'easy answer' which, I'll assume, he always looks for.
If that's the kind of human being you want to give the other end of the rope around your neck to, then so be it.
As for 'fear of never finding someone' - it's the same for us all ...even those who have aggrophobia and are afraid - to step outside their front door.
I wish I could offer you something more positive ~ other than, 'Your read like you are worth a great deal more than you have been given to believe in.'
I wish you Good Luck.
Sash.
2007-01-19 10:55:51 · answer #1 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an emotional abuser. He might as well be slamming your head off the walls - it hurts as much. Men like that are cowards who hate themselves. He knows he is torturing you and he enjoys it as it makes him feel better. You are right to leave. You will be loved but I think you should take a break from men for a while. Women make bad choices for themselves when they are down. Take time out of relationships to see what you want and who with and then go out and get it! I did and its been wonderful. Good luck.
2007-01-19 18:42:00 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is his way of pushing you away so he doesn't have to be the one to end it and that way he doesn't feel any guilt but don't stay with such a pig head loser...........sorry i know you love him an all but no-one deserves this kind of treatment you can do better for yourself. Get rid and find someone who will respect and love you for who and what you are. You stay with him and you'll end up feeling worthless and insecure.
2007-01-19 18:54:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's immature and emotionally abusing and manipulating you. That messes with your head. I know your scared to leave but can you really put up with this? Have faith about finding someone else, you survived before you met him. Can you talk to your family about the situation they may be able to offer more support. x
2007-01-19 19:25:01 · answer #4 · answered by farleyjackmaster 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its never easy to move on as there is the fear of the unknown. Be strong and do well for yourself. You will be hurt more, don't settle for the least, why look down on yourself like that? Prove to him that you can do better.
2007-01-19 18:38:39 · answer #5 · answered by loli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best advice to you is life is too short to be stuck in place. if this guy doesnt want to move forward with you then you need to move forward without him. good luck gurl. i hope you see within yourself that you are beautiful and you dont need a man to validate that.
2007-01-19 18:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
poor you, i know you have heard this before, i never got your last post, but why demean yourself with this man, he has taken away your confidence, get it back and leave him, my husband done this to me, i am by my self know and i love it, why do you need someone to love you? your girls need you more, love them and wait till love finds you
2007-01-19 18:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by valda54 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try councilling
2007-01-19 18:32:26 · answer #8 · answered by Luay14 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋