I am very scared that my child grow up to be dis-respectful and unrulely. He's 3 years old, would rampage through the house and pull off things, not listening to things we say to him. We tried locking him in the room, time out . My family is asian descend, and have told me to spank him, I tried that also, he's not afriad of hitting either. Anyone have any other ideas?
2007-01-19 10:21:42 · 9 answers · asked by 結縁 Heemei 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Time outs never work. You have to be much stricter. Don't tell him to behave kindly if that is the opposite of the behavior he is giving you. You have to use a tone that he will begin to associate with a scolding. And the spanking thing is probably the best punishment for him. I was spanked as a child and a lot of my peers weren't (because of the whole "child abuse nonsense"). As a consequence, those people have close to zero respect for their teachers and parents. And I am complimented for my repect and good manners. No light spanks either. Really hit him and eventually he will learn.
And the number one thing to do with kids is to NOT spoil them or cater to every want that they may have. They will come to expect everything from everyone and who wants their kids to be like that?
2007-01-19 10:33:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, first and foremost, such behaviour, although not always appropriate, can be expected of children of your son's age and developmental stage. Having said that, if you find that his behavioural pattern is of concern, then there are certain things that you need to do. One of the most important things that you need to reflect on is yourself and your spouse - how do you generally interact with people, and how you interact with your son. Children can only learn values like love and respect through observation and modelling - in other words they need to be shown love in order to love, they need to be respected in order to learn to respect others. Locking him in the room, or hitting him will not do any good, as it will only reinforce the notion that 'hitting is ok', and i am sure you would not want your child growing up with that concept in his mind. Overreacting to his misbehaviour is also not good, as this extra attention that you are giving can be a source of motivation for him to repeat the misbehaviour. Sometimes, if you can afford it, and if the behaviour doesn't pose any harm to himself or others, it is better to ignore. You also need to impose consistent consequences for his behaviour. For example, if he pulls things off the shelves, etc, he should be calmly asked to put them back - whether he does it immediately after, or slightly later, when he is not agitated. Whatever the situation, you must be in control. All the best!
2007-01-19 13:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by aphrodite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2007-01-19 10:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by malc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill out, sounds like you need to take a deep breath. a 3 year especially boys can be unrully, do you have structure in his routine ? stay calm when we throws, pulls, hits it could be for a reaction. get down to his level eye to eye, do not shout and tell him in a calm authoritive voice whatever it was is naughty. praise him up big time for the good things he does. Look into structured play so when he gets hyped you can see the signs and bring him back down. look at his diet, what triggers him off, what can you change about your style of parenting.
2007-01-19 10:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by bambam 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kids are very hard to controll at a young age.... what you need to do is take controll... take away a fav toy or no tv if he likes cartoons..... you must be assertive .... untik he listens show him who is boss... and your not doing anything wrong some kids are just hard headed... good luck!!!
2007-01-19 10:27:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you had him evaluated for hyperactivity? this can explain some of the behavior.
You can show your child how to be respectful of adults by example.
2007-01-19 11:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick a martial art a put him in there until he is 14 or so...worked for me...although my child respects people who earn her respect she is not required, by me, to simply dole out respect because people are older than she is
2007-01-19 14:44:26 · answer #7 · answered by cherry 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Consistency and Discipline are the key words. If you do time out then be consistent. If you do spankings then be consistent. good luck
2007-01-19 10:31:22 · answer #8 · answered by sweet2006 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he needs structure and consistent consequences.
2007-01-19 10:25:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋