I need reception/party advice for the weekend after we are married.?

Question

My fiance and are were going to eventually do the big wedding thing, but we've been engaged for a year now and my grandpa isn't going to make it much longer. He is closer to me then my dad so I really want him to be a part of my wedding day. I want to have a small wedding with our closest friends and family, literally our 4 best friends and under 40 family members. But, we do have a lot of friends to celebrate our marriage with. Would it be ok to have a big reception or party the weekend after we are married? It would be at our new large home which most people haven't seen but it's perfect for a party because of the large open floor plan. If we had it nicely catered and completely decked out and invited friends would this be acceptable? Will our friends be hurt they weren't there for the real wedding? Also, I say no registry because our friends aren't actually coming to our wedding, but my fiance and sisters say yes beacause they are gifts of celebration. Please help!!

Answer 1

I think that's a grand idea. You are in charge of your wedding, so do as you see fit. You might have some friends get hurt feelings, but just explain to them that you wanted a quiet and small wedding just for immediate family members. The big reception a week after is a fantastic idea and will help calm some hurt feelings (if any). At the reception, maybe you could make a wedding cake so that friends could be included in that, and have all the traditional wedding dances, etc.

I had a friend who got married in Vegas. Whomever could make it did, and for the ones that couldn't they had a huge wedding party reception. My husband provided the music entertainment and the whole event was catered and everything.

The gift registry is a great idea. It is a wedding celebration so let people give to you for starting out your lives together. Send out invitations to the reception just like you would for the wedding, so have two separate invitations.

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 2

I have been to several receptions where the wedding was just for the family and close friends, just family [very private]' and also for a couple who got married in another state. Also for one where the couple and the parents flew to Hawaii for the ceremony! And I wasn't hurt a bit!

Have your reception soon after your wedding--whenever it works out for you! And I think having it in your new home would be perfect! I think it would be acceptable to register if you want to. I usually give money and don't bother going to look at a registry, but I know many people do. However, don't make this a combination housewarming party----reception and housewarming are two different things, and never register for a housewarming!

When I have gone to just a reception, I always give a gift or money. Most people will. But no invitation to anything guarantees a gift.

Have the reception, and I know everyone will have a wonderful time!

Answer 3

I would say it is fine to do what ever you want to do... Unfortuantely there is always going to be someone who will be "hurt" if they couldn't attend the actualy wedding, but as we all know you cannot make everyone happy.
So, since you grandfather is not going to make it much longer, then go with the small intament wedding and then have a lrage celebration afterwards (that night, the next weekend, or month even), where you can celebrate with everyone (including Granddad).
As far as gifts go, I wouldn't say no gifts (unless there is nothing you need or want). Even though they weren't there for the "real Wedding" doesn't mean they cannot shower you with gifts... Lots of people these days skip the actual ceromony and just show up at the reception, and that is were the gifts are recieved anyways

Answer 4

You can have as many receptions as you want. You would only have poor etiquette if you have more than one ceremony.

You would send separate invitations to the people who are invites to the two different things, as it would be rude to share the specific info of anything with someone who is not invited to that event.

So for the 44 person wedding day, those invitations would invite the people to the wedding and to Reception 1.

For the big group of friends, you send a RECEPTION invitation to the people invited to that, to invite them to Reception 2. (To change a wedding invitation into a reception invitation, simply replace the words "wedding" with "wedding reception.")

This site will also help:
http://www.crane.com/Etiquette.aspx?C=WeddingEtiquette

Don't make apologies to your friend for not inviting them to the ceremony. That makes it look like you are doing something wrong, which you are not. You simply are making a decision for the size of your wedding ceremony based on your circumstances, and you are not violating etiquette.

As for the registry, you never announce or publicize your own registry-- You would only tell people where you are registered if they specifically ask you for the information. So you can register if you like (keep it modest of course).

Actually, why are you having two receptions? You can have them both the same day (inviting the 44 people crowd to the ceremony AND reception, and the rest of the people -- all those friends-- receive an invitation to the reception ONLY, without a ceremony card inside.)

Answer 5

I think if they are true friends they will understand. Afterall its your day, so make it what yoiu want. I think having a big partyy at your house is an awesome idea. It's a good way to save money on a reception hall and it's a good way to show off your new home. As far as the registry, i think its a good idea to have one for those stuborn people who will want to buy you something. Why not also have a House warming party slash wedding reception, then you can register and nbot feel guilty. Kill two birds with one stone. Congrats and your grandfather is in my pryers

Answer 6

I say do it as a reception/house warming. Register and send out invitations like you would for the wedding. theknot.com has a ton of invite examples to help you get the wording right.