My boyfriend has been pretty distant with me since Wednesday. It's since he has been told that he will not get his promotion at work. He has been pretty upset about it. He has been quite irritable and cold with me. When I questioned him last night why he has been like this, he told me that he's tired from work and it's not about me. He said he was fed up and he basically did not want to have any conversation with me. He has been all sweet and loving before Wednesday.He apologised to me today telling me he was sorry and he did not mean to hurt me but he said to me that he hopes I can understand that he sometimes needs to be alone. The thing is I am going through a major life change as I have quit my job, looking for a new one and I feel like I need him. He told me that of course he wants to support him but he cannot be always there for me to solve my problems at the same time when he is trying to deal with his. Im somehow feeling insecure and I think it's because of the job change.
2007-01-19 09:57:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Violet, lay back down. Give the guy some breathing room and time to settle his mind about his own problems and I'm sure he will return to his old supportive self for you. If you continue to be so needy and self-centered I fear you will push him away.
2007-01-19 10:04:21 · answer #1 · answered by nin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you're feeling insecure. If I were you....I would feel insecure too...actually my ex-bf once told me that he couldn't always be there for me either...when I was down..and I'd have to say..he didn't help much. It's a sign that you love him more than he loves you. At first I refused to think so...i kept persuading myself that he was just telling me the truth...but no...if a guy really loves you...it doesn't matter if he has something horrible going on in his life...he will always be there for him. Imagine yourself right now...ur going through a job change and ur not too happy either....if he comes to you for help...or just seeking you for comfort...wouldn't u be there? or would u say that u have ur own problems to deal with. Being a couple means being there for each other. NOT being there for each other only when neither of you are no occupied with something horrible. It just plainly means...he'll be there. And if he has something horrible...he should feel as if he can share it with you...that's wut connection is for. So yea...maybe you oughta talk to him about it...tell him...if u really love me...then you should be coming to me when you feel stress....instead of acting cold or moody towards me because something in ur life is not going right...i'm ur gf..you should be able to share it with me...and whether i can soothe u or not...i can't guarantee...but i'll try. it's about being there for each other.
2007-01-19 10:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by 2Quinn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one you don't quit a job not unless you already have another one lined up. And your bf needs to grow up and be resposible because he's not teh only one in this world that doesn't get a promotion. Maybe he didn't deserve t, I don't know but feeling sorry for yourself doesn't do a bit of good. Well if he doesn't liek it there search for a better job and whenhe gts one quit that one. But you and him need to communicate not just I want, she wants.
2007-01-19 10:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's there to support you if you need him, don't ever doubt that, but we men can't always be strong, for others and even for oursleves. He's going to a (major?) disappointment in his life and he needs some time to accept that. I know that you need him but he needs himself more. I know that's really hard to accept because we should be always there to support you but the reality is that guys are human, too. It sounds like he really loves you. Just give him some time -- you need to understand his situation, too.
2007-01-19 10:05:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just mad about the promotion thing. Give him a little space and let him cool off. things will get back to normal soon.
2007-01-19 10:06:26 · answer #5 · answered by I love your rude answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him have his space for one whole minute, so he can figure what he's gonna do next. It wasn't his fault you quit your job before you had a new one lined up right? I think you should worry more about what you're going to do about a job. :)
2007-01-19 10:04:18 · answer #6 · answered by Gasman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is also an individual with his own personal issues. you are one too. you both support each other in problems like these but understand that you can't always have it your way. his life doesn't revolve around you and he has problems that doesn't concern you. just support him like he supports you. don't be selifish.
2007-01-19 10:04:38 · answer #7 · answered by mimiracle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he's distant from u because u have flowers on your avatar? lol
u need to get a style update
2007-01-19 10:01:22 · answer #8 · answered by Sample ID 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should try and work this out for yourself... if things get too hard, tell him that you just can't deal and you need him... if he really loves you, he'll forget about his needs and tend to yours
2007-01-19 10:02:14 · answer #9 · answered by jessesangul987 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the silent treatment works very well for me
2007-01-19 10:02:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋