If the bride and groom are adults, living on their own, are their parents still expected to pay for anything?

Question

If so, what and how much are they expected to pay?

OMG! I chose the word "expected" so that I didn't have to use "have to!" I KNOW that they don't have to, and that they only will if they can afford to. However, most people think that their parents will pay for something...there are even people asking what each set of parents is "supposed" to pay for! Give me a break! It was an honest question, and if you can't handle it then don't answer! Grow up...

Answer 1

It really depends on what the parents want and are willing to do. If they can afford to and want to, that's fine. I don't think paying for a wedding is really "expected" from anyone.

Answer 2

OMG don't you just hate when people write stupid *** answers and assume. WOW! I totaly agree when you say grow up! But anyways to answer your question I think that every family and every situation is different. Traditionally the brides parents are supposed to pay for pretty much all of the wedding. The grooms parents are supposed to pay for the flowers, the groom's tuxedo, groomsmen gifts, the officiant fee, the honeymoon, the rehearsal dinner and a couple of other things. But with the rising costs of weddings escalating every year parents are getting to the point where they are not able to pay what they are traditionally supposed to. Alot of couples are paying for weddings on their own, some are asking parents to pay 50/50 and some are just paying the extra costs that their parents cannot afford. My parents got hit by Hurricane Rita last year and so did my fiances so my parents are paying for whatever they can and his parents payed for their own wedding so they expect us to do the same and they are only giving us $1000 and a rehearsal dinner. $1000 seems like alot but it's really nothing compared to the final cost. But we are grateful for everything we have been given and we don't expect much. So i would say that in the end my fiance and I are going to end up paying about 60%, my parents 35%, and his parents 5%. So you i woul djust suggest that the bride and groom talk to both sets of parents and find what their budgets are and if they do want to help. I don't think that the bride and groom being adults should matter too much. Because whether your 22 or 30 your still somebodys child and they were going to pay for it if you were younger I don't see why the wouldn't if your older. If anything they've just had more time to save. lol! But like I said all situations and all families are different. All parents are definitely different. But Good Luck!

Answer 3

Traditionally the brides parents pay for the wedding, but if your mom can't afford it it isn't right to expect it (not that it seems like you are)> No one has to pay a cent if they don't want to. I wouldn't bring it up out of the blue. If it comes up, say your mom can't really afford to do more than $300 dollars even though she may have mentioned doing the rehearsal dinner. Plan according to your budget and what you know you can get. If your fiances mother offers, figure that into your budget then. If you feel comfortable, let her know you would appreciate anything she could give despite what tradition is. I would let it go. Even if you don't have much money for the wedding, and help should be a willing gift and not something you had to beg. Do whatever you feel right doing though.

Answer 4

Today most wedding traditions can be altered according to the wants/needs of a family. A wedding is considered a gift to the children, so it's really up to the parents if they want to contribute. However, consider that when parents pitch in, it's customary to give them at least some say in what goes on during the wedding, which can be to the chagrin of the bridge and groom to be!

If you can afford to, plan to pay for the wedding yourselves; it will give you greater control over the proceedings as well as make you feel independent. If your parents wish to make a contribution, let them do so, but don't ask them; wait until they offer themselves.

Answer 5

I moved in with my husband before we were married. We paid for a majority of everything, i.e. gown, tux, flowers, church rental, etc. My parents paid for the hall to have our reception and paid for the cake. My mother made my veil and my flower girl veil. And that was fine. I was glad they helped with anything.

It really depends on if your parents want to help. It has been seen as a cultural thing for the bride parents to pay for everything, but most parents do want to contribute somewhat. Back in the past, most brides and grooms were still living at home, so the parents were more responsible for paying for the weddings. Now that the cultural shift has changed somewhat in latter years, we are a society of independent individuals who actually are on our own before we get married, there may be a shift in who actually pays for what.

I do believe that if you are on your own, your parents shouldn't be expected to pay for anything, although the most popular thing that parents give these days is probably a honeymoon trip. Maybe talk to your parents and see if they want to contribute to the wedding in anyway. Maybe the rehearsal dinner would be a good wedding gift contribution or the reception catering. Anything I'm sure would be helpful. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 6

If the bride and groom are adults living on their own, their parents can contribute, but are not expected to. With times changing as they are, it is no longer the responsibility to pay for the entire wedding, but they have been offering money towards it.

I would think that they would still (if following old rules) would cover the reception/drinks (brides family), and the grooms family would tkae care of the smaller things.

In my case, my fiance and I are paying for the whole deal ourselves... Would be nice though for a few extra bucks to be sent our way!! :0)

Answer 7

Actually parents shouldn't be EXPECTED to pay for the wedding regardless of the age of the bride and groom that is not a requirement its a privilege. All my friends that have lived on their own including myself paid for our own weddings we aren't our parents dependents anymore so if the parents want to give some money, buy the cake, pay for the hall or whatever GREAT if not that's fine too.

Answer 8

I am getting married soon. My mother and dad can't afford to pay for anything. In fact, I will be paying for them to fly out, clothing and everything else they may need to come to my wedding. I am in my 30s. I am buying my own house soon, that I paid for on my own. I worked through college and paid my own bills. Maybe it is just me, but I feel better about myself knowing that I am self sufficient and can pay for everything as an adult. If you are really young, I think it is different, but then I would wait until I could afford it. Otherwise I wouldn't expect my parents to pay for anything. I think I would treat it more as a surprise if they did and be extremely grateful. Good luck with the wedding planning. I know it is EXPENSIVE! :)

Answer 9

I would lean towards no, they aren't expected to pay for anything. However, that doesn't mean anything. Discuss budget with your family...asking is about the best thing you can do. I'm considered an "adult" & live with my boyfriend, but my parents insisted on paying for everything, they about had a fit when I wanted to pay for my own invites. However, my friend got married & had the same situation, but her family chipped in nothing. It's just a personal choice & depends on the family.

Answer 10

I dont think there is a general guideline anymore. If you are out on your own and capable of paying alot of couples foot the bill for the majority of their wedding. Others the parents still feel it is their obligation andmany others split the cost. My daughter has a good income and will be married in one year. We are paying for her flowers, cake, invitations, table goodies, supper and reception to follow., They will pay for their clothing, photos and dj. She didnt feel we should pay for as much as we are but I feel we should. I am happy to do it. I guess it all depends on what you want and what everyone can afford to do. Some parents truly cant afford to give their children the wedding of their dreams and offer a certain amount towards it. Ive known of several families who have done that. So trully I think the old rules of years ago with the list of who pays for what is sort of out of date.

Answer 11

I think the best way you can answer this question is ask your parents if they would like to help. I am sure they would love to even though you are out on your own. Let them know that you and your fiance are starting to plan things and make a budget and want to know if there is anything they want to do (just so you dont step on toes). Most parents offer to pay for one aspect of the wedding, dinner, place, dresses, etc.