Why do parents think they need to buy there children things they want instead of getting what they need?

Question

many parents think that ther kid needs the 60 dollar shoes that they will do better in school than those that will be in k mart shoes etc , they fill if there kids have nicer clothes that they will fit in etc , what ever hapened to parents teaching there darn children u like someone for whom they are and what tey are not skin color , not the clothes tey wear etc . parents buy trher echildrens love why do parents do this , is it because there insecure , yes we want better things for our kids but damn im not gonna bounce a check or not pay a bill because my child wont go to school unless they have these shoes

Answer 1

you're exactly right, but most parents lately are too lazy to teach their kids any values so they buy them off to shut them up and then they don't have to deal with them anymore.

Answer 2

not everyone doing this is necessarily in a situation where they have to worry about bouncing a check..........wealthier parents can be incredibly busy and will often spoil there children out of guilt.

Guilt is probably the number one culprit for most of us parents though, in a day and age where 2 parents work full time and the children seem to get less and less interaction with parents, giving them the material items they want makes them (the parents) feel better and relieves some of the guilt.

What should parents do?
Teach your children the value of the dollar and a good work ethic while they are young. Make them save half of their birthday money and put the other half in savings. If they really want that $60 pair of shoes, then make them work for it by creating chores, etc...
They may eventually learn they dont want some of these items or want to save their money for something even more special.

Materialism, unfortunately has always been around and will always be around, there will always be those children that make our children jealous at school by all of the constant gifts and expensive clothes.

I try to explain to my children (when they come home a beggin!) that they do not know what those other children's home lives are like and that even the wealthiest children can have severe problems at home, and even though we may not be as well off as others financially, we are well off in so many other ways because we make it a priority to take care of them and be a permanent fixture in their lives.

Answer 3

I buy my child nice things because we can. He is well-behaved and not spoiled, so the way I see it, there's no reason not to. I like my child to look put together and can afford to dress him well, so I do. I don't do it out of guilt (I'm a SAHM anyway) or anything else. I don't buy his love, either. He is only 3 and couldn't care less anyway, if he ever gets demanding or bratty I will put him in check!! But for now there is no harm. In addition, when he has outgrown his clothes I always let him help me pack them up for donations, and he always wants to throw extra things in there, like his toys, for kids who don't have as much. We also have a foster child with us now and I will admit I spoil him but only because he's been through so much. Whether or not it's right, I don't know, but I know he is happy having toys and clothes of his own as opposed to nothing, like before.

Answer 4

I dont think that I need to buy my children nice things, but I like to. All of my bills are paid and I am not bouncing checks and I am a stay at home mom. I do not do it out of guilt or to shut them up or bribe them. I just like for my children to have the nicest things I can afford to buy them. If something is "cool" I dont want my son or daughter to feel left out because they dont have it. However, if they whine or demand something then they dont get it, and they understand this.

Answer 5

I think some parents feel as if they should get kids some of these things because of the peer pressure they feel.. Ages of 12-18 or 19 is a difficult age because kids are trying to fit in somewhere. I think it's a bad idea to get kids "everything" they want.... but it's nice for the kids to learn to accept people for who they are and not what they wear. Kids feel if they have something cool to wear, they feel a little more accepted.. It's tough being a kid nowadays... it wasn't as bad when I was growing up.

Answer 6

I agree, however I think it is just a mind set of the masses, "THAT MONEY CAN FIX ANYTHING & EVERYTHING"!

It is very sad, to see this happening everywhere! Even the Bible says that the root of all evil is money! It sure feels like no one does anything for anyone else before finding out "what's in it for them." Parents are a huge factor in this, that they are perpetuating this epidemic by not stoping the cycle with tolerance & education.

However our government is no different. If you really look at almost everything wrong with this entire planet on some level or another it all boils down to money!


James c- Who lets the kids watch TV?

Answer 7

I just went through this with my 14 year old....I won't buy the 60 shoes.
Begged and Begged and still NO...if he wants them then he has to save his allowance for them.
I had found a pair that were awesome....only 28.00 on sale reg. 75....but no....no the ones that Mike, Bill or Steve have.......
My point ....make your own fashion statement....how boring the world would be if everyone was just alike.
I am trying to teach them to be individuals....very hard in today society when another parent is willing to charge up that credit card or spend more on their child's clothes then their own....

I agree.....back to the basics......
They may not like it ...however I'm doing my job...they are dressed and look great...maybe not name brands....but they look good and they are clean.

Best wishes

Answer 8

I don't waste money on silly frivolous things. Lord only knows when my kids and I will need it for something that really IS an emergency.

My kids come first. I come second. If a friend or family member gives me hand-me-downs for my kids, I'll take it, and you know what else? My kids will wear it.

I'm more concerned about my children's financial security and education than I am about a pair of $150 Nike tennis shoes.

Answer 9

My daughter is with her dad because I had to deploy. But hes a multimillionare and she is always telling me how she would live my lifestyle inplace of all of the money and it does not matter to her about money and expensive stuff. She just wants to come back. I must have done something right with the time we had.

Answer 10

I agree, parents don't teach their kids what they use to. I like to spoil my neices and nephews (no kids yet for me...not for a while I hope), but seriously some kids these days won't go to school unless they got the new Nike's on....I blame TV.

Answer 11

Because they want to shut the kid up in the store. They will all grow up to be big, SPOILED, BRATS. I know some one who is. Only kid plus a girl. Now she is legaly and adult 22yro and think she can still get her daddy to buy her anything.