It's a problem I'm ashamed to admit I have, but I need help.?

Question

Pornography. It's everywhere. I want to avoid it. I'm not really addicted, just the online stuff. I'm embarrassed and ashamed at myself, but what can I do to stop myself. I'm desparate! What can (i do to stop, or at least control myself?

Answer 1

get a girlfriend

Answer 2

Increase your standards by making a true decision; except absolutely no less than what you truly want, and cut off all other possibilities.

Change your limiting beliefs; the beliefs that you have that say you "should" not look at pornography, into beliefs that say you "must" not look at pornography. Change the beliefs about who you are and what behavior is consistent with your identity. Also, form new beliefs about the way you reference pornography; decide that each (formerly) satisfying memory you have of it is really despicable!

Develop and use new strategies, now; change the way you react. Decide what you really want to do instead (get clear). Remember all the reasons that you are disgusted by your unwanted behavior. What will it cost you in your relationships? In your identity? In your sense of morality? Ask questions that sum up how much it will hurt to continue (getting leverage). The moment that the temptation arrises, interupt your focus by shifting your physiology (get up and do something physical and outrageous) which will alter your mental focus, and/or ask yourself a question (interupting your pattern). Then immediately create a new association by doing something that settles the cravings in a similar but healthier way (create a new association). Do this whole process over and over again, everytime, no matter what (conditioning). And test the outcome you want in your mind (test). If you can continually achieve the results in your mind that you want, then you are teaching your subconcious new references that will support your wanted behavior.

The process of changing behavior:

A- Increase your standards
B- Change your beliefs
C- Develop new strategies:
Strategy for success;
--1- Get clear
--2- Get leverage
--3- Interrupt old pattern
--4- Create new association
--5- Condition by repetition
--6- Test your new power!

Answer 3

Sounds like you are an addict, and like any other addict, you can get help. Addictions are illnesses--and don't say that you're not an addict because it's "just the online stuff."

There are support groups. Read your local newspaper to find out when various support groups meet. You can get help at a free or sliding-scale clinic from a psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor, therapist, or social worker.

If you're looking to quit all on your own (which is much harder)--stay offline! Start doing outdoor activities like sports, working out, running, etc. Go to the library and get out some self-help books for addicts.

Good luck--addiction of any kind can really harm a person mentally and physically.

Answer 4

pornography and sex can be a serious psychological problem if it becomes addicting and hinders your every day normal functioning. If you feel ashamed and not right with yourself by partaking in pornography, then you are telling yourself something. But it is up to you to decide whether or not to stop. Mind over matter!

Answer 5

Pornography is okay if you do it in private, it doesn't control your life, doesn't hurt others, and doesn't make you feel bad about yourself. Buy some magazines and keep them in your bedroom. And stick to them. Don't sign up for any sites online because it can become an online addiction.

Answer 6

The first step is having the courage to admit you have a problem...good for you, not very many people have the cajones to do even that! Try to avoid being on the computer unless you are doing a specific task, or have another person in the room with you...anyways, good luck and I'm proud of you for being able to admit it and want to do something about it.

Answer 7

unfortunatly it's apparently more a mental and emotional issue with you. counseling is a good idea, but even then there are no guarentees. you have to stop yourself when you start "feeling" that way and try to reflect on why your starting to go in that direction. in otherwords, try to learn about yourself, and understand yourself. get to know you!!! sounds crazy, but let's face it, pay hundreds of dollars on counseling just to have someone tell you what???????????????????? it's worth a try at least. let's face it, it must be a problem if it annoys you. it takes away from the "real pleasure" in life and sex that you seem to want. otherwise it wouldn't be an issue would it?

Answer 8

If this has been going on for quite awhile, I'd say follow a lot of the advice people are giving here. Otherwise, it might just be a phase and you'll get bored with it. If you're married/have a girlfriend and this is interfering with that, I'd say you do have a big problem, and it's kind of a fetish thing. That's my opinion, anyhow.

Answer 9

there's software that you can download, maybe even free or shareware, that can block your machine from accessing certain types of sites... usually used by parents to protect their kids... surfwatch or webnanny for instance... check out download.com for stuff

celebrate yourself each time that you are tempted and don't remove the software to get to it...

change is hard... takes patience... challenge yourself to break this habit... takes 21-30 days to make/break habits so give it a chance to work

I had a tendency to frequent socially questionable sites a few years ago... I know that I enjoyed the adrenaline rush but I was ashamed of my actions so I found other ways to keep myself pumped... I got involved in a ceramics class, I took some art therapy classes, I learned how to make jewelry... the process kept me busy and the product made me proud of my accomplishments.

I wish you success... commit to the goal... keep your energy focused

Answer 10

One of the best ways to stop looking is go to your filters page and make it G rated for your computer. If you use a public computer just look at non sex sites. Hope this helps.

Answer 11

You could install some kind of Net Nanny software on your computer. If you can trust yourself not to override the program great. If not, get someone else to type in the password on the program.