My friend is getting played like a fiddle, n i dont no wat 2 do.?

Question

She liked this boy so they went out n after a 2 weeks he dumped hern she cried like whole week, n they next week he was flirting wit her again so she was all happy, n he said that he luves her n is going 2 dump his g/f 4 her, but wen she tld her friends that n the news spread, he changed his mind n cursed her off as a ******* liar, n then next next week, he kept saying he wouldnt do the same 2 her so they went out n he dumped her again, it has been 2 months but she is not getting over him n sti lkes him, she just cries randomly n i want 2 tel her, " *****, u need 2 get over him." but i no she s sad so how do i help her 2 get over him

Answer 1

Just be there for her, there is nothing you can tell her that will make her feel any different, she is going to have to deal with these feeling herself. Just stand by her and help her through, sometimes people just need to learn things the hard way before they get it.

Answer 2

From what you've said, this guy has made it clearly obvious that he has no real feelings for your friend. How can he say so many humiliating things to her and then love her again the next day or the next week. You can't force your friend to get over this guy. So, my suggestion is to talk to her about the way she allows him to constantly run over her. Explain that she is the only person that can stop it and that really she is hurting herself. I had a friend once that was in a very bad relationship. It started out with the guy verbally abusing her, then, just as in this situation, the guy would apologize and suck her back into his sick game. She would always let him suck her back in. Eventually the verbal abuse turned to physical abuse and by then she had no self esteem left and it took about a 2 month hospital stay for her to wise up. What I'm saying is that if she wants to be treated badly then there is nothing you can do to stop it. I would just try to get her to see the big picture. Maybe switch roles and she can see things from your perspective. I'm not a genius but I do know an abusive man when I see one. You are as strong as you want to be, your friend is strong enough to move on. Be supportive and help her if you care. Like I said, you can't make her decision, but you can voice what yours would be. Good luck.

Answer 3

Nothing you can do other than be there for her. You can point things out to her, but you can't force her do the right decisions. If you insist she'll only get mad at you and she'll never learn. She will learn from her mistakes.

Obvoiusly she has a lot of growing up to do. First, she needs respect herself enough to learn to say "If and when you brek up with her current GF give me a call, but until then - no". Second, not to spread the "news" that is not even real - of course, that guy was mad because she was trying to make things go her way while a healthier would have been to let this guy make his own decision and support them by his actions. Now she made a fool of herself, unfortunatelly. But she will learn from her mistakes.

Answer 4

Just tell her tht she needs to get some damm pride and stop letting this stupid guy do tht to her!!! Tell her tht shes worth so much more which im sure you have cause it sounds like you kindda have a thing for her. But thts besides the point, get together w/mutual friends and try to snap her out of it!!! Get her a hobbie something just make sure shes not alone and tht she fully understands wht tht dude is doing cause you have to also remember tht theres only so much you can do!!! So good luck!!

Answer 5

Do you know why she's almost obsessed about this boy?

BECAUSE all women to be liked.....This boy set her up by turning his back on her and outright stating "I DON'T LIKE YOU" by his actions.....Now she wants to be liked and accepted, and unfortunately she will never recieve that from him.....

So how do you explain this mind game to her? I don't think you really can, and it's likely if you tell her you like her.....It won't change her self-image.

Right now she's feeling like the world's most "Unloved" person and unworthy of anyone's love....It really bites that this cruel boy did that to her.

As for now, get her friends together and explain this to them.....I think she really needs a group....for a group hugfest....bring potato chips and beer and some girly-drinks, watch a movie, play cards....try to do it weekly....she'll feel better when her friends say "I like you, I just enjoy spending time with you....." That will ease the pain of that JERK....

She'll grow out of him.....

Answer 6

You need to reverse the whole story for her, and them people, and than ask her -if she really liked the guy in the first place? SHE WOULD SAY NO!!!! when YOU REALLY CARE FOR SOMEONE, YOU DO NOT TREAT THEM BAD!!!! DOES SHE??? I hope not...She needs to stop crying over the rejection feeling, and find someone new, That will cheer her up. NO-ONE-young or old, likes rejection-it's one of the worst feeling anyone will ever feel in life. Just learn from this, and stay away from players, they are losers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

She's going to need to figure this out on her own, just be there for her as a friend in a non-judgemental way (no 'I told you so') when she finally clues in.

Sometimes just reviewing the sequence of events with someone, like you have above, will help them put it in perspective, but she'll have to be open to it for that to be effective.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

It's not your job to help her get over him, she the one that has to be strong. She needs to stop being clingy, plus he know that he can control her and he like the power he has over her, she need to get a back bone and get strong cause there's lots of guys that like to play game with girl heart. All you can do is listen, because no matter what you say she going to do what she wants and you after a while is going to get sick of hearing the same old song, trust me it gets old.

Answer 10

Wow! This is a tough situation, and i know that you are trying to do eveyrthing you can to help her and i would kill for a freind like you. Sometimes, what poeple need is tough love, so maybe you should say that, but sometimes poeple need conforting. Honestly, i think you should beat that SOB so bad he dies, but i think right now all you can do is just confort her. But, don't lisent to me because when i try to give my freinds advice, they stop being my freind.