I'm a 20 year old new mom. I'm trying so hard to do my beast to be a good mom. My baby is only 4 weeks so I have not had to do much but I still feel like I can be doing better. My mother told me to get the baby out of my best and stop picking her up when she cries. When people tell me things like this it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I know it sounds crazy but I'm trying my damnest to be the best mother ever. One reason is because I'm a young mother, my baby's father is not around, I use to get into alot when I was younger and I'm trying to get my life together. I don't know what I'm going to do!!!!!!! Can anyone help me!??!?! Or will I just feel like this at first and then I will go away when my baby get's older.
2007-01-19 08:54:46 · 14 answers · asked by Zy'anah's Mommy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
There is nothing wrong with holding your baby.
Do whatever you think is best for your baby and you and you will be the best mother for your child. Doing what works for other people or what some book says does not make you a good mom, because not all children are the same, nor are all families.
Take care!
2007-01-19 08:59:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone feels they are an expert on childcare if they have raised a child. You will need to follow your own instincts to know what is best for your baby. I say smile and nod at all advice and then do what you think is best. Of course, keep a journal and write down questions between check-ups. The doctor is the BEST authority. In the meantime, read a few child development books. Your library or book store carries a variety of books that can tell you what to expect in baby's first year.
People have different ideas about sleep locations for babies. Some want a common bed, while others prefer to let baby sleep alone. What feels best to you? Neither is wrong. However, I do caution that if you start the baby sleeping with you it may be a hard habit to break later.
You are a young mother, but that is the best kind. You have more energy! Trust yourself. Just love your baby. Keep the baby clean and dry. Talk to your baby. Sing to your baby and read to him. All of this helps speech development.
Baby's cry when they are hungry, wet, lonely, in pain, and even when they are bored. In time you will be able to distinguish between your baby's cries. It is alright to pick up your baby when it cries. That communicates that you are there for him and will make a more secure individual. Crying to be picked up is a good reason to cry! Your baby wants contact and closeness. That is a very human need. Don't deny him. You CANNOT spoil a baby.
As your baby gets older you will get more confident. That is natural with more experience. Remember they are not as fragile as they look. Just love him, read development books, ask the doctor questions at check ups, smile and nod at know it alls and enjoy your baby!
Congratulations.
2007-01-19 09:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this stage, holding your baby when she cries is not a problem.
It is when they get a bit older and you keep doing it that you have to deal with a stronger case of seperation anxiety.
All new parents feel like they don't have a clue as to what they are doing, and they tend to get a lot of really bad anecdotal advice from people (especially parents and grandparents) who haven't had kids in 2+ decades.
Seriously, talk to your pediatrian. They are used to questions you may think are silly. But there are no dumb questions when it comes to trying to be a better parent.
If you can, buy "What to Expect Baby's First Year" I think is the title. It really helps you understand the various phases your baby is going through.
Also, if there is a new mom's group at your local chruch, or through the hospital, it can really help. Some moms have done it all before, and others have no experience. Talking to others that are going through the same thing you are will make it seem so much easier than it feels right now.
2007-01-19 09:05:52 · answer #3 · answered by Garylian 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not to worry- I graduated high school 7 months pregnant and am now 20 years old and pregnant again. If your instincts are telling you to pick up your child, then pick her up. Your baby will not be spoiled at her young age if you do so. I'm sure you're doing the best for your baby- after all you are her mother. As for your mother- she may think she knows what's best for your baby...but you are your babies mother. My mother in law always tried to tell me what to do....in fact we had several blow outs because I wouldn't listen to her.
Your body know's what to do- but if you do have baby blues you need to consult your doctor about getting on an anti depressent. I didn't have baby blues but my daughter wouldn't latch on and I would cry so hard cause I felt like something was wrong with me.
The most important thing I can tell you is take time for yourself. Ask your mom if she couldn't sit with your daughter while you take a long hot bath. Taking care of yourself will make you a better mother and your baby happier.
2007-01-19 16:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by silvaspurranch 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that will all go away. all your fears and doubts will go away i promise. of course your gonna have fears every mother does. my mom still has fears for me!! im 20 yrs old too. but my daughter is almost 2. i felt the exact same way. people are going to give you advice. when the baby cries its ok. she needs to get those lungs set. and she needs to rely on her self. but she is still an infant so pick her up until shes about 2 or 3 months then start letting her become more independent! . and im sorry the daddy isnt around thats gotta suck. but youll do just fine. just hang in there. besides ya know what they say.....only the first 18 yrs are the hardest!! ;)
by the way dont worry so much, just enjoy your baby. things will come naturally. you have to get the routine of mother hood. youll get it. your babys only 4 weeks. give it time!!
congratulations to you for a healthy baby!!
and kudos to you for being a strong single mother!
2007-01-19 09:27:50 · answer #5 · answered by jrs wife! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relax and trust your heart and your instincts - our mothers can give good advice, but you actually know more than she does what's best for your baby.
You want the best for your baby, because you are filled with love, but you are new to this. Totally normal, for those with partners and without. As you gain confidence as a parent this will go away. When my first was born I would sit and cry because I wanted so desperately the very best for my son and didn't know how to give it. It's love.
If you begin to feel mired down, break the situation down into basics.
1) No illegal drugs in the house, Mommy is able and conscious
2) Baby is fed adequately
3) Diapers are changed when needed. Baths are given.
4) Comfort and cuddles given as needed.
5) Adequate health care (shots, medicines, advice) accessible.
6) Baby has adequate clothes and a safe, warm place to sleep at night
7) Baby has someone to rock and sing to them and read to them, and make funny faces at them and play patty-cake
This will tide you over until you get the hang of being a parent.
The best thing? In two or three weeks, your baby will start to smile at you. Those smiles are the best thing in the whole world, and they will tell you you're on the right track.
2007-01-19 09:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by KC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First calm down and take a deep breath. the first sign of a good mom is constantly being worried that you are being a good mom. I felt the same way after my son was born. I can't tell you how many times my mom found me crying because I thought I was being a bad mom because all I did was change his diaper and feed him. when they are that young there is nothing else to do, and at 4 weeks pick her up whenever she cries. there is nothing wrong with it.
the older your baby gets the more comfortable you become with being a mom. You will still constantly worry that you are being a good mom but it will get better I promise.
2007-01-19 09:00:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
whoa whoa whoa, you are not being a bad mom! if your baby cries, especialy at such a young age, then YES, pick up YOUR child! this baby is YOURS, the baby does not belog to your mother. you are obviously trying your best and not neglecting your child so dont worry about it! you will always feel your entire life that what you have done just isnt enough, that is the unconditional love you have for your child showing through. but the thing is not to stress about it. your baby will feel your stress and become stressed as well (later on when the child is older) right now, just keep doing what your doing and everything will be fine! best of luck!
2007-01-19 09:05:01 · answer #8 · answered by shutgstr1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im 36 and that i replaced into interior an identical difficulty. My dad had custody and met his spouse who continues to be right here, and that i call her mom, she won't have given start to me, yet she could as nicely had. She is the guy who had placed her existence on carry to strengthen and love a toddler of 6 that have been raised by using my grandmother on the grounds that i replaced into 4. I nevertheless communicate over with the single that gave start to me as my start mom. As for the nannies that are raising little ones, i've got faith the real discern could step up and be a discern, there are single women everywhere which could, and in basic terms using fact some have funds doesnt recommend they could pawn their young little ones off. In some unhappy circumstances, the youngster is conscious the nanny greater advantageous than their own discern, and definite, finally end up calling them mom. The daycare workers, have many different little ones to shelter additionally, so their time is divided between 10-15 young little ones. i think of the personable time between 2 human beings makes the bond.
2016-10-31 13:35:58 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are loving your baby you are being a good mom. I know its hard when other people put ideas in your head, makes you doubt yourself. Little babies need love so you do what you can to keep her happy and you will be happy, enjoy her as much as you can cos it doesnt last very long, the baby stage that is. I used to have my baby with me all the time, I found it hard to put her down, she was so precious, everyone is different, some people dont feel the same way and everyone does things differently. Do what makes you bothe happy, dont worry about your mum, its your child, not hers.
2007-01-19 09:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by Yo Mum Mum 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋