sweet sixteen birthday parties like on the tv show, problem is we are NOT rich, we make about 20,000 a year just to live on. She has been harping about this for a few months now and it doesnt help that her best friend is more well off and recently had her 16th bday party, which was all out, she even got a car, there is no way I can my kid a car, I dont know what to do...help.
2007-01-19 08:37:43 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
OH, help me, what can I do? HOW ABOUT YOU TELL HER NO. Step up, you're the parent. Strive to undo the wrong you've done by raising a child with such a sense of entitlement.
Raising kids is hard work, but it is over before you know it. Stop taking the easy way and do the job you signed up for when you got pregnant.
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Oh gosh, be careful when you answer if she doesn't like it she'll email you. I just got an email from this wonderful mother and she called me a C***. Hmmmm, now maybe we know where her kid gets it from. Let me guess, I'm NOT getting Best Answer.
2007-01-19 08:40:41 · answer #1 · answered by BlueSea 7 · 7⤊ 8⤋
Oh, dear. Somehow, you need to show your daughter that that television show is actually making fun of the kids (and especially the parents) who have those ridiculous parties. That show is actually quite sarcastic. Of course, you don't want to be too mean to your daughter's friend, either.
So how do you go about doing that? Well, I think a few math lessons are in order. And then a few more.
Break down the basics for her first - income, and then what you have to pay in taxes. Then show her how much you pay for housing. And then utilities and food. And then transportation. (and do a little side lesson on the cost of cars vs. resale value, plus insurance, interest, maintenance and of course gas.). At some point your daughter is going to scream,"okay, I get it!". At that point, tell her how much you feel that you can afford. (and low ball it slightly.) Let her know that you love her, but can't afford to spend more than $150. Then you can work together to figure out just what that can buy. (Dinner for you, her and three friends?)
Lots of fun can be had without spending a fortune.
Oh, and does she have a job? That could help, too.
Isn't the point of sweet sixteen birthday to mark the transition from childhood to adulthood?
2007-01-19 08:50:12 · answer #2 · answered by Jean Talon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What your daughter has to realize is that you are not like her friend's parents. If you only make 20,000 a year, she needs to realize that. If she wants one of those parties, have her get a job, or do some babysitting for neighbors. Have her help pay for the party. Then if your family is close, solicate aunts, uncles, grandparents to help match what she makes and throw her party off of that. Or she can be content with a "regular" party because some 16 year olds don't even get that.
Take care.
2007-01-19 08:43:40 · answer #3 · answered by ga_gyrl91 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your daughter that a party of that caliber is not possible at this time. Make her an offer like this. Tell her that since she will be turning eighteen in two years that the two of you can take this some time to plan for her eighteenth birthday together. Explain to her that you would need her help though,( This is a very important step in the plan.). Ask her if she would be willing to find herself a part time job to help with the cost of the party. If she agrees to these terms then, if you can, help her to have her big dream birthday bash. Doing it this way will teach her to have a more realistic understanding of budgeting finances and a better respect for the money she has earned in order to host this party.
2007-01-19 09:04:47 · answer #4 · answered by chillingmona 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit her down, and tell her like it is. It's not going to happen.
Instead, allow her to invite two other girlfriends and you (mom) and the four of you spend the night at a nice hotel for a "sleep over".
Tell the hotel to give you a room in a corner where they are less likely to keep people awake. Ask the hotel to put a bouquet of flowers in the room with your daughter's name on it (or take them there yourself beforehand).
Take the girls out to a nice dinner - everyone dresses up. Let them order dessert from room service, watch DVDs and be 16 year old girls for the night. You stay with them most of the time, but keep off to the side and only butt in if they get too noisy for the hotel.
If there is a warm pool/spa, they could use it until the hotel's curfew.
A couple of hundred dollars is a lot less than thousands and thousands of dollars, and it will still be fun and memorable.
2007-01-19 08:46:33 · answer #5 · answered by Vivian D 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
We are talking about a T.V. show. That is what it is, not reality. Explain that not everyone is rich and it takes very hard work to pay bills and afford things. You obviously can't afford to throw her a $100,000 birthday party and realistically no one in their right minds would. That show is crazy. Ask her what she thinks of these kids attitudes. They are all spoiled and strange. I have seen quite a few episodes and it is unbelievable how these kids talk to their parents. Tell her too bad, you will give her what you can and that is what life is all about. You can give her a great sweet 16 without alot of money. Have all her friends over and get her to create a theme. Give her the control of what she wants but with your budget.
2007-01-19 08:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in a very large family where my dad's salary was barely enough to cover expenses too. What my parents did for our 16th birthday was allow us to have 15 friends over (total of 16) and they cooked a sit down dinner for us (sphaghetti, or burgers) and then taught us some fun games. Kids these days can still have fun without going to a lot of expense. A co-worker's daughter had her Sweet 16 on their back patio, with music, dancing, soft drinks and sandwiches.
2007-01-19 10:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not give her a car. At least not yet. Wait a few more years and then get her a car. As for the sweet sixteen b-day party. invite some of her friends to a hotel for a night or two and go to a mall. I think that sounds like fun!!!!!!...... :)
2007-01-19 08:44:46 · answer #8 · answered by A nobody 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's simply sitting your daughter down & explaining to your daughter that it IS a matter of finances. While you would LIKE to give her EVERYTHING she wants, it just isn't financially possible.
However, suggest to her what you ARE able to do for her special birthday!! Maybe a sleepover party w/some snacks & door prizes? Come up with some party GAMES. Make your own decorations!! Having a party doesn't HAVE TO BE expensive. And let her know, that a car just isn't even a possibility!!
YOU don't have to COMPETE........ neither does SHE!! Just make it SPECIAL!!! Be creative!!
2007-01-22 14:05:53 · answer #9 · answered by ilovepoison2820 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you...I've seen the show one night quite a long time ago and talk about a bunch of spoiled brats!! At 16, she very well should be able to understand what you can and can't afford so don't let her guilt trip you. Why can't a good old fashioned party be had? When I turned 16, I had a ton of friends over, ate pizza, watched horror movies, the guys went home and midnight and us girls stayed up all night long.
2007-01-19 08:47:01 · answer #10 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can make even a small party look spectacular with silver trimmings! Siver balloons, ribbons, foil covered trays/plates, candles, etc. Just go overboard on the sparkle! Go to a Party City type store -- discounts, especially this time of year after New Years!
Have a sit down dinner (use silver chargers -- $1 ea @ Hobby Lobby) with her closest friends and have them all dress up (prom style with their hair done up). Serve sparkling cider in champagne glasses (about $2 a bottle). Toast the B'Day girl.
You don't have to spend a lot of money to make her feel special.
Have fun Mom --- whatever you do, your daughter will love it.
2007-01-19 08:45:22 · answer #11 · answered by GP 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋