Hard Liquor?

Question

We are planning on hosting (we pay) the bar for Beer, Wine, and non-alcoholic drinks. I know some people would like to have mixed drinks, so I'm wondering how tacky would it be to have the hard liquor be non-host (guest pay)? Or should we just leave out the option entirely?

Some more details. The reception place is not too expensive, but hard alcohol drinks are more expensive than beer/wine. Yes part of it is the issue of cost since we are droping so much already on the food, beer/wine, champaign, etc. The other is to help control how much people drink without limiting it too much.

Answer 1

I like the idea of keeping things open for guests. Since you are providing the beer and wine, I say go ahead and make those who want something extra pay for it themselves.

Answer 2

Keep the hard liquor as an option because that is just simply what some people drink. However, keep it as a guest pay option for them. Most of the weddings I plan, when there is a host bar, it is only beer, wine & non-alcoholic drinks. If your guests want something else, they pay for it.

Answer 3

The way you have it right now is fine. If the guests want something stronger they can pay for it themselves. That is just the way it can be.

Now for my wedding I have found a location whose drinks (all of them) are $2 a piece. The only time I am having an open bar is during the cocktail hour. At that time I am going to tally up to see what was spent, and if it is too close to my limit then I will change it back to a cash bar.

I have also heard of only having a open bar for immediate family only (parents and siblings and maybe an uncle or 2). Then there is also those who leave it as a cash bar until the greedy guests (yes i call those who only go for food and drinks greedy) go home. They usually head home right after dinner when they realize they will have to pay for the drinks. Those who choose to stay with you are the ones you want to make sure have a great time.

Good luck and congratulations!!

Answer 4

Don't make yourself look like a rude host by offering something your guests have to pull out their wallets for. It is extremely bad manners to set up ANY type of cash bar at a private event like a wedding.

Guests should not have to pay for ANYTHING being offered at your wedding. Not drinks, not coat check, not parking, not gratuities for any of the help (make them take that tip jar down!). Nothing. ALL those expenses are the responsibility of the host.

If the hosts are not paying for it, it should not be offered, or served, or on the menu. Case closed.

People will be plenty content with the wine and beer you provide. Honestly! And you'll be remembered as a generous bride and groom, instead of as a tacky couple who had a cash bar.

As Miss Manners says, "There is no polite way to invite people to take THEMSELVES out for dinner [or drinks]."

Answer 5

It's not rude at all. I've been to weddings where they chose to have a paid bar because there were alcoholics in the family, and they didn't want any problems.

Maybe you want to consider having a full bar if you're serving hors deurves (or a cocktail hour while you're taking pictures), and then switch to paid hard alcohol at or after dinner.

We're doing our wedding by tab - once our tab hits a point it switches to a paid bar (you just have your MC make an anouncement). Out venue has an all or none policy, so they said this is a very common solution (and they hold 400 receptions a year in LA). It probably won't run out til after dinner, and it'll probably keep some people in line who might not be otherwise.

Answer 6

Either you are hosting a full open bar, or you are not. Do not have a cash bar, even for just some drinks, that is wrong. You won't be saving any money by not having hard liquor there, because those people will be drinking MORE of something else to compensate. The biggest bucks go for the food, not the liquor.

Answer 7

Sorry folks, common practice does not make something correct or proper. Etiquette (take your pick of the book) dictates that the guest pays for NOTHING while attending a party that you are hosting.

I can't IMAGINE inviting someone over to my house and saying, "Thanks so much for coming. Would you like a drink? It will be $7." Weddings are EXACTLY the same. Again, that people do it doesn't make it right. If you can't afford to pay for your guests, then cut the guest list (not directed at the asker).

Here's a good in between solution:

Have the beer & wine and pick a signature drink for each of you. Have Chris' Cosmopolitans and Mary's Mojitos hosted and with the beer & wine, leave it at that. Your guests will be thrilled that you were so thoughtful and creative. : )

Congrats on your upcoming wedding and marriage. : D


Edit: Don't you love it when you get negged for being correct? And, that's why they had tacky cash bars at their weddings. Sorry, but no amount of thumbs down will change the truth. You don't invite guests *your* party and then refuse to pay for them.

Answer 8

it relatively is totally extreme-calorie. A single ounce of vodka or rum (80 info or 40% alcohol by using quantity) is form of 70 energy. in case you have some photographs, it relatively is nearly a complete meal. Cream liquors like Bailey's Irish Cream relatively %. it on nonetheless. an ozof it relatively is form of one hundred ten energy, meaning in case you have an entire 8-ozglass, it relatively is 880 energy! it relatively is large, pondering an elementary 5'6, one hundred thirty lb female could have approximately 2000 energy an afternoon... it relatively is nearly a million/2 her calorie intake for the day.

Answer 9

I think that anyone who says it's rude cannot possibly have hosted a party lately.

Think of it this way. If you were having a party at your house, would you feel the need to provide EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE drink combination to your guests? My guess is no...Most of us are very comfortable offering beer, wine and soda when people come over. Why should it be any different just because it's a wedding, or just because you happen to be in a place that has a fully stocked bar?

I think it would be rude to tell your guests that they're not allowed to order anything from the bar. If they CHOOSE to have a mixed drink, that should be an option that's open to them...Again to the analogy of having a party at your house - would you be offended if a guest at your party brought their own bottle of tequila? Again, I doubt it, so why not allow them to have access to whatever it is they want to drink?

One last point...If they can't accept your hospitality as offered, then perhaps you should reconsider who you're inviting. Anyone who is coming to your wedding should be there to help you celebrate, not to get free drinks. The fact that you're feeding them on top of this should be enough to satisfy anyone who loves you.

Answer 10

I do not think it's tacky at all. I go to a lot of social events because of my job. The tendency is beer and wine very often any more. I also see no problem with a no-host bar. That's common. Besides all that, you have personal liability if you knowingly allow a person to become intoxicated at your party and then drive. If you do a no-host bar, let people know.