I need to clerify that they have been living with him for 2 years. I live 6 blocks away. they chose to live with him as I am with my own mother and her home was not big enough for all of us. I don't know how to let their feelings out. They seem depressed and angry, also at their father. Especially my 14 yr old daughter. There was a time she never wanted top leave his side, now she is angry that he is sick and is tired of caring for him.
2007-01-19 07:06:24 · 7 answers · asked by snicks 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hello,
First and most seek professional help. For care of dad, family and at all possible friends, support group.
Don't carry this load all by yourself-- Weather joy or sadness SHARE IT !!!
I felt compelled to answer this question as my own experience Happen to me just last year.
This is basically to all of the family members but much more for the daughter.
I was so much like this 14 year old - mad at the world, my family, the way life was and is.
Over the period of 4 months my father had a stroke so serve that he came home to die.
I was left to care for him until his days to follow leading up to die in my arms.
These short few months gave me time to come to terms of what was and is.
From being that hurt girl, women, daughter I felt honored to be the chosen one to be beside my father final days.
I made time for him, I talked, read, messaged, combed his hair and kiss him good night. (Plus tend to my 4 year old, home)
In that short period of time family what wasn't even close became closer.
By the end of dad's journey was a light.
WE ALL PITCHED IN AND HELPED !
It is and was a family gift.
There is no end, you will come out of this a stronger person.
Just remember the one we love don't fade away, they walk beside us day by day.
UN seen, unheard, so near and loved so dear.
To the 14 year- If to quick to find hate you won't find love.
My heart goes out to you as well as your family.
Ever want to talk she can reach me scaslake@yahoo.ca
Love Sandra
2007-01-19 07:33:59 · answer #1 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids need counseling just to help them work through the situation that they are in. Your daughter is probably angry and doesn't know what to do. It's frustrating and she's probably resentful that she has to take care of him just because she's 14 and none of her friends are going through this, she may feel she can't talk to anyone about it and basically, she's being asked to grow up before she's ready.
2007-01-19 16:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by kristina807 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in an extremely sad position on this one, and you need to get professional help for both yourself and your children ASAP. I'd start with finding them a 'support group' for people 'in the same position' that they're in, and you can look in the phone book for groups that are 'associated with' the 'disease' or cause of their father's dying. Then you need to get 'help' for yourself so you KNOW who your children are going to live with after their father dies, how you (if you do get them back) are going to support them ... and even if you don't LOVE the man any more, you are going to also need help in 'coping with' all the feelings you are having and will have when he actually dies. I'd START looking by calling your nearest 'mental health center' especially one that is associated with a University Medical School ... or look in your 'phone book' under 'Social Services' for numbers you can call. Also, if there is a 'Crisis Clinic' with a number you can call, it should have the names and phone numbers of the right kind of agencies for what you need. I'll pray for you and your kids and their father.
2007-01-19 15:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're all going through this. My husband has been battling cancer for the last 2 1/2 years and is supposed to have more chemo again after this last surgery. Do you have a good Pastor to talk to you and your children and help through this grief process? Working through the grief process helps you and your children understand their own feelings and emotions as grief is a hard thing to go through.
2007-01-19 15:13:44 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
caring for a dying patient is too much for the most professional of carers especially someone you are close to. its just too much for a teenager to cope with. i say you gotta get your kids away from there. or they might start blaming themselves after for being so angry and feeling helpless. it would be easier all round if they were just visiting. their father probably feels pretty crap to because he is used to being relied upon rather than relying upon his kids
2007-01-19 15:16:53 · answer #5 · answered by mum of 2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be getting them to talk to a grief counsellor now. Your daughter is angry at him now...if she stays angry and he dies then she will be beating herself up that she didn't forgive him. They need to talk to someone.
2007-01-19 15:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let her know that it is his time!!!!!!! The father above wants to make to pain go away..he is going home to a better place!!! Try and explain that to them if they are just not willing to hear you out go down to your church...if you have one...if not I understand...but if so go and try to talk to a pastor..and have him explain it to them
2007-01-19 15:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by Shelly M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋