would you stay with this man?

Question

my husband is always focused on his money and his job mainly himself. its always him him him. meanwhile he will give me a lot of his money thinking it will shut me up and it doesnt. he says he wants a family but he wont make the yard look nice or even maintain our pool. it gets green all the time. he puts little effort in to me in the bedroom and he puts little effort into our home . he puts all his effort into his money making. he over does it. when he has spare time and he has a lot of it he just wants to have fun fun fun. but yet he says he wants a family. if he isnt putting his effort into our home or me sexually but he will with money would you have a family with this man would you stay faithful to this guy

Answer 1

sounds like you two are in different places and want different things. you don't seem to be heading and in the same direction and having a family will only make that much worse. it takes two people to bring up children and from what i can tell you will be the one at home with the children doing all the work while your hubby works and then wants to play hard. he needs a wake up call. you should talk to him and if he's not prepared to make an effort you need to think what you want from life. life is too short to waste on someone who doesn't appreciate you.

Answer 2

Now this a refreshing change to ask why men stay with women as opposed to why women stay with men and could be one reason you got so many answers- good question anyway. Can't really answer that as I'm not a man but maybe there are many reasons and some out of a sense of loyalty for the children if there are any. Maybe it's a gradual thing and they need opinions or need to get rid of the frustration! Maybe one cannot generalise on this.

Answer 3

You didn't say how old you both were so that may make a difference. Also if his working hard to keep a roof over your head and a pool in your yard them give him a break. Maybe he justs want to work hard to make a good living for the both of you. If he gives you so much money have the pool cleaned and the yard groomed with it. Some men just don't like to do yard work. You also didn't say if when he wants to have fun if the fun includes you. You also didn't say he was fooling around on you. Stay faithful and talk to him. If you truly love him then you need to talk to him and get these problems resolved. Stay faithful to him and if you can't then get a divorce first. No need to hurt someone unnecessarily. Good Luck Remember communication is the key. Maybe try to make a scheduled date with him that you will both enjoy.

Answer 4

I wouldn't stay but I am not you. Could you put up with many more years of this? If not then don't think about being unfaithful, that will give you feelings of guilt and remorse that you really don't need. Leave him before you think about a relationship with anyone else.
If you are more concerned with the financial side of things then stay and try to work it out - let him know how you feel - but still don't be unfaithful - you will be punishing both of you.

Some people are just money orientated and show their love by providing you with 'things'. Sounds like your needs aren't met with 'things' though. Neither are mine and that is why I wouldn't stay.

Answer 5

I would stay faithful until I split up with him, its the right thing to do. I would try talking to him more when he has this free time, and when you have a talk next time, tell him assertively that some of your problems must be worked out if he is serious about having a family and all the things he is wanting. If you cannot get him to see things your way, then you might consider what you are going to do. It's up to you whether or not you stay with him.

Answer 6

Do you love him? You never mentioned that......you are asking if you should stay faithful---of course you should. But you know that. You're asking whether or not you should have kids with him; if you're considering an affair, and he's a workaholic, then neither of you are ready for kids yet. You need to work on your marriage right now; the two of you need to make each other a priority. You need to sit down and talk about how you feel about each other, and whether you want to stay married. Do it now. Once you have kids, it will only be that much harder.

Answer 7

I think your man has lost focus on what he was supposed to be earning the money for.
He won't realize this until you MAKE him.
Pack your bag one day, and without any warning go.
Not definitely though. But of course don't tell him.
Just don't go back home for a while, and don't make contact for a whole week and then just go back.
I bet he might not even notice you're not home the first few days, but by the end of the week, he will.
If it's not enough, do it again for longer.
In the end, it might either help you decide if you want to leave him for good or for him to realize that with no one to share his precious money, what's the point in working like mad??
Good luck.x

Answer 8

yes. He is not out running the streets, and hanging out with other woman, correct? He is making money to build a better life for you two. My ex used to always complain to me about this. No woman wants a broke a man that cant provide for himself, let alone a family, but when you get a man that works alot to make money, women complain that they work too much and dont have enough time for them. It's tough to find the middle ground where both parties are happy. Of course he wants to have fun if all he does is work. Try to talk to him about setting up a vacation for the two of you, or family time a day a week. but when you talk to him, try to not sound like your nagging, cause most men instantly tune that out. Communication is all about the way you say things. you can say the same exact thing, but if you present it negatively, that will also be the outcome.

Answer 9

I would stay faithful until you leave if you decide to do so,its the right thing to do and you will be a better person for it.I would talk to him if I was you,tell him how you feel.my partner works hard and at one point I got a bit resentful at the fact we didnt get lots of time together.I spoke to him and found out that he saw providing well for our family as a sign of love and caring,you know making sure everything was ok and we didnt struggle.Now we make time for each other and I dont feel as bad as I did.Do you love him? If you still do then talk,talk,talk and be sure before you bring children into the equation.If after talking he doesnt show more time,affection etc then you could look at leaving but really,dont bring another partner into the relationship you wont like yourself for it.good luck :)

Answer 10

You would be a single mom with money. Look into how hard it is to be a single parent. Physically and emotionally, not just financially. Think of yourself, and a future child that might not ever really enjoy the bonding with a daddy! That means good days, bad days, in sickness and dirty diapers! Not just when he want to be around for a "fun" day. He is selfish. Sometimes having kids changes people, but don't bank on it!
Any old sperm carrier can FATHER a child, but it takes someone special and attentive to be a good DADDY!