My children's father is dying from liver disease and he hasn't much longer to live.?

Question

MY son is 12 and my daughter is 14, they both want to live with him in this trying time. (We are divorced) I see how stressful it is for them and for their father who is always very sick and cannot parent very well at this point. I'm worried for my children and having to care for their father and themselves as well as depression, and whatever else they may be feeling. I am not sure how to handle this situation.

Answer 1

Tell him to go to the hospital and be put on the waiting list for a new liver. Or if he has the money go to England and pay 500.000 dollars and get a new one.

Answer 2

Are you living near enough to him that you could have the kids there more often? Do you get along well enough with him that you can take them there & work together?

I don't think him having FT custody is the right answer. I understand they want to be with their father more now, and feel like they could help. I think it would be too much on him, and definitely too much on the kids. You need to talk with him and see what a solution is.

I don't know what his condition is but (and I feel awful saying this) are you sure that he is really that sick? I would hate this to be some sort of tactic he is using. Probably way off base here- just wanted to have you realize sometimes that's the case.

Good luck to your and your family.

Answer 3

I wouldnt let them live with him. I know from their point of view they want to be able to be with him as much as possible. And help care for him. But they are young still. And also need to be cared for. No matter how much they want to care for him.
However what I would do is let them visit him as much as you possibly can. If they can go over to his house after school and be with him a few hours every day maybe that would help. Then they would be like living with him only not sleeping there. So they got away a little. Also they do have grief counselors who specialize in children. I would look into that now and just have them talk to one already. Most hospitals can refer you to one that they go through and in some cases insurance will cover it in cases like this. Good luck!

Answer 4

living with him @ this point is not a good idea but they can possibly have visitations everyday or so would probably be better for them. having grief counseling @ this time would give them a better understanding what is exactly is happening to their father. the cancer society maybe helpful in recommending someone for you & them.
in advance I am sorry!

Answer 5

Let them have these last days with their father and do your best to put your feelings aside and help them all to make the best of the time that they have left, help them all do something memorable together, do this for them, they will need to have these memories and time with their father after he's gone.

Answer 6

I would say it is out of the question for them to live with him. Let them visit. They should not be burdened with this problem at their ages.

Answer 7

is it possible they could stay with relatives that live close to him (if you dont) that way they are close so they can visit. depending on how sick he is, it might not be in their best interest to see their dad like that, I have seen close family member in the same situation altough it was not my dad but it was hard seeing them in pain and you dont want to remember them in pain.

Answer 8

As long as they are not his primary care takers, I would let them live with him. They need to be with him now. (Believe me, they would hold it against you for the rest of their lives if you don't let them.) As long as he does have either a nurse or hospice care it's fine.