what do you do when you've found yourself in a rutt?
2007-01-19 06:31:48 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Take a night class, try a new hangout, buy a book on something I've found interesting and never tried, take a trip if I can...
Stuff like that feeds the soul and banishes ruts... You'll never know who you'll meet or what you'll experience when you venture out into new territory...
2007-01-19 06:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by P_P_K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are referring to you feel your marriage or relationship is in a rutt . . . try talking to your spouse/partner. Even if he/she doesn't think you are in a rutt or seems initially resistant to the idea of making changes just lay it all out - how you feel, that is - calmly. No threats or 'you'd better change or else'. Though most people can't see their own faults or shortcomings when they are so focused on someone else's, sometimes small changes you make in your own behavior can make a world of difference. Don't just make them 'to see if they notice' or as a test of any sort - let them know you are making them and why. Sometimes life gets so busy that the most important thing - family - gets put on a back burner. And things snowball - there will always be strife, stress, and more 'life' to weigh things down. It's all in how you handle these things that make the difference.
Take some time to re-evaluate your role in the relationship. Don't expect that your partner should make all of the changes - be willing to compromise and meet them halfway. And don't expect changes to happen overnight - your partner may need time to process what you (both) say. See a good family-oriented counselor if necessary (as opposed to some quack who tells you to just do whatever makes you happy - that never works out!). A book that can be extremely valuable for struggling relationships is 'The Five Love Languages'by Gary Chapman.
I hope this helps and please be willing to work on your relationship. Most people - men especially - believe that seeking a new, exciting relationship is always the best answer but it almost never is. It only makes your life more complicated and, when those 'new and exciting' feelings wear off (usually within about 2 yrs.) you are left with a lot of regrets and you find yourself in the same boat you were in before, except worse; at that point you are dealing with a bitter ex, a new partner you are not happy with, and the prospect of having to settle with your new lot in life or start over yet again. The majority of people who leave their partners because they feel they are in a 'rutt', unappreciated, or taken advantage of don't realize that sometimes relationships need to go through those periods to become stronger and even more fulfilling.
Good luck to you . . .
2007-01-19 14:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand up, turn around a few circles, head in any direction, and keep going. . . clears the mind, gets the circulation going, breaks the obsession with a negative focus (rutt), and creates action - with thawt processes to follow !!!
2007-01-19 14:35:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do something I normally wouldnt do. After my last relationship ended, I found myself in a "I never do anything but work" rutt... So I coersed all my girlfriends to get together and take me out. We did, and it was alot of fun, and it made me feel alot better.
2007-01-19 14:34:25 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get up, get out, go to the mall and window shop or to Lowes and Home Depot to see what kind of new house redo stuff they have. Paint a room. Just take a drive or walk and see where you end up. Just do some darn thing different. It's winter where I am and on cloudy days I really feel IT too. Hope you're doing better.
2007-01-19 14:36:54 · answer #5 · answered by Darby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In rutt are your? Har! Har! You are a hot little doggie in rutt are you? Har! I like hot doggies in heat, Har! You like exploring great big caves and sitting in the dark, Har! You just run down to the corner til you have a whole pack following you and then let nature take its course, you little hot doggie you. Har! She's in rutt, Har!
2007-01-19 14:37:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
well it depends on what type of rutt your in.
2007-01-19 14:37:52 · answer #7 · answered by foxie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I talk through it with myself first, then my friends, and then my family. There is nothing that you can not get through. Friends and family act as your support and backbone.
I also like listening to music. There are some great songs out there that are very motivating.
2007-01-19 14:35:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jfranc1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get moving! Take action! Think about what you really want, and start moving in that direction! Don't let the world deter you!
2007-01-19 14:35:13 · answer #9 · answered by Sammy D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out and do something you don't normally do. Break the routine.
2007-01-19 14:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by serena3116 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋