im seeing this man have been since the end off november its sex sometimes not always... we see each other every week near enough. i have feelings for him! and said this is a open relationship! and that he doesnt want a relationship! will this mess me up as a person? he has girls as friend and he does chat to them on the phone which does make me angry but i try to ignore it.. has anyone done this before? did it work? or were u just sucidal after it ? i need some people opions on a open relationship does it drive u insane or is it a fun thing??
2007-01-19 06:12:47 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The green eyes monster is always there but the promblem is ive also become emotional attached he is my cruch i fall on him for support and ive become vunrable at the same time! why am i become vunrable aswell?
2007-01-19 06:28:34 · update #1
also im 16 girl
2007-01-19 06:32:36 · update #2
The only way you can cope with this is to stop sleeping with him.
Can open relationships work? Of course they can. I've seen enough of them work to know that. But they only work if both people are in absolute agreement over it -- both want it for themselves, both absolutely comfortable with the other person having that freedom.
That said, what you're describing isn't an "open relationship." Not only because clearly you're not on the same page as each other, but because, from what you've written, he doesn't consider it a relationship -- open or closed. (If he described it as an "open relationship" to you then I misunderstood, sorry -- it's not clear who said it's an open relationship, you or him.)
He's made it clear he doesn't want a relationship. Sounds like you're fk-buddies to me, which is something that works for some and not for others. If he says he doesn't want a relationship you have to take him at his word. And if you find yourself wanting more than what you're getting...and getting jealous over things like phone conversations...you really need to stop what you're doing. Period.
You want something more than he's offering. He wants something less than what you're (basically) demanding. That's a lose-lose situation.
2007-01-19 06:18:03 · answer #1 · answered by ljb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, you said that this man does not want a relationship sounds too me he is playing the field . If you are getting serious about this man & he does not want that maybe you should tell him so & tell him that you can not see him anymore instead of letting it go any further for you when more than likely it will not for him .
Hun the only way it can drive you insane or anything else is if you let it or let him have the kind of power over you ; in my opinon you deserve alot better it doesn't matter too me where you are a woman or man I would think the same cause everyone deserves too be treated like a king or queen, not to be used for the time being while that person wanted or needed you or someone else at that point of time . I alway's try too go back too this, treat all people the way I want other or all people to treat me the same goes for everyone to me .
Good Luck & Best Wishes !!
2007-01-19 06:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by sweettexasangel12001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at least he was truthful with you and you don't have to deal with thinking he is true to you only to find out later that he was cheating the whole time. Now you have to decide whether or not you want to be part of a relationship like this and from your question it doesn't seem like it. You need to move on and meet someone who had the same ideas about relationships as you do. You are not going to change this man. When and if he wants to change he will do it on his own. You really need to leave this relationship before you invest even more of yourself and end up getting hurt even more. You will get over him in time and you will find the right guy. This one just isn't the one for you. Good luck
2007-01-19 06:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Stacy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey, if you're looking for a relationship, then this is NOT the guy. He has told you 'no relationships', and he MEANS it. You cannot change him, so you have to choose now: continue to see him, knowing and ACCEPTING that he doesn't want a commitment, or to walk away from him and find a guy who WANTS a commitment.
Don't seek to change him, you will only end up getting hurt.
I am currently dating, no serious anything, cause that's how I want it. I have had to tell one guy to back off on the commitment thing, cause it isn't going to happen any time soon. Now, when he calls, I don't answer ever time. I don't need the pressure, nor do I want to be tied down... I'm newly single and loving it!
2007-01-19 06:18:22 · answer #4 · answered by o b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an open relationship with a girl once on her request. It was OK but you have to be careful sexually. My ex slept around and wanted it because she wanted her freedom. I felt like I was being strung around. She ended it after a month and a half for another girl. But I think open relationships just an excuse to date other people and to not have guilt about it. They work for a little bit, but only if you really want it too and aren't serous about the other person. Then you'll only end up getting hurt.
2007-01-19 06:31:04 · answer #5 · answered by bunnyprep 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
open relationships can work, but it has to be mutually accepted. I do not think you accept the status quo any longer (if you ever did). Explain to your guy that you need some of the "specialness" that comes from being mutually exclusive. I am in an open relationship myself, but we got there after 5 years of being exclusive. Neither one of us doubts that the other is interested. But, if you are having issues with trust, or with feeling loved, or if you have jealousy - it is not going to work.
2007-01-19 06:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by Myrrhder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of it. Open relationships work for some, but you apparently aren't emotionally capable of dealing with it. Stop causing yourself grief by hanging in there and move on. You're better off alone than in a relationship where you are making yourself miserable.
2007-01-19 06:15:54 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay I have done this before and in the end its not the thing to do...it made me mad when he had other girls around when we were together! It is fun at first and if you have no feelings for the guy...but if you really do have feelings for him and its not just a sex thing I wouldnt do it hunnie...u will be sucidal at the end of it all babe!
2007-01-19 06:19:24 · answer #8 · answered by Cutie Tootie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open relationship is insane for a number of reasons. Trust is gone, forever. You can never know when your partner will find someone they will prefer over you.
Sharing a network of lovers greatly increases your exposure to STD's. Last but not least you are playing with peoples emotions which are always unpredictable.
2007-01-19 06:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by Dane 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
An open relationship does obviously drive u insane. It can be a funb thing if people want it that way. You do not. Therefore, find someone to love who is monogamous!
2007-01-19 06:18:45 · answer #10 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋