I Feel Bad?

Question

My whole life my mother was a substance abuser and I got taken away from her at the age of 8 with lots and lots of bad memories. I lived with my grandparents till 16. Well about 5 years ago my mother got into a car accident and is now about the age of my 7 year old(brain injury) No shes not a mother figure and No she cant have an adult conversation but I really do feel in my heart that it was the best thing that happened to her. She doesnt do drugs,smoke or even drink anymore.When she was in the accident she was J walking across the street to a known dealers house. She got hit and I was told she wouldnt make it(didnt have a chance) they asked me if I wanted to pull the plug and I didnt and now look she's a living miracle. She now loves life, her family and grandchildren something that wasnt known before the accident because of her actions. She needs some help to do certain stuff but she is happy in whatever she does. Am I wrong for feeling like this was the best thing to happen to her?

Answer 1

Feelings many times come just like thoughts, you can't avoid them, what you can avoid is to work them out for bad. A bad feeling is not necessarily bad, what is bad is to act according to that feeling. Now, no matter what, you were in that womb, and she carried you to term, that is why you are here, and even though I don't know you, I'm glad you are here to teach us a lesson of love and forgiveness in spite of your past suffering. This is your chance to prove what you can come out of victoriously.
Love her, care for her, spend time with her, enjoy her as long as she is with you, and at the end, you won't have any regrets. I guess you now have the mother you always wanted. I know it is not the same, but close. Take care
God Bless You.

Answer 2

you're not wrong. things happen for a reason. you could call it "divine intervention" or in other words kind of the lords way of giving you your mom back and enabling you to have a relationship with her on a level which before that happened you weren't able to have because of the drugs. not dismissing the accident because that is a terrible thing to happen to anyone but it worked out in the end because now you have a mom that you should have had growing up. you made the right decision on not pulling the plug. your life and everyone's life around your mom is very much brighter now. many people in your position could not have made such a decision. you should feel great about yourself. i wish you and your family the best of luck in the future. good luck.

Answer 3

wow, this is a tough one. I wasn't going to answer, but I am going to give it a try. I don't think you feel that this was the best thing for your mom, but you feel like it is better than her still doing drugs. If she hadn't had the brain injury, she might have come out of this with a better out look on life and maybe straightened up, or she may have gone back to her old self. I think that you are not happy about this, but you are glad that she is no longer that druggy. She is part of your life and it doesn't sound like she was before. She is closer to being the way you wanted her to be than she would be if she was still doing drugs. You are only finding the possitive in this situation, maybe just using too strong of words.

Answer 4

You are allowed to feel anyway that you wish, you had nothing to do with her accident. She was an adult and made her own choices. You most likely feel this way now because you have what you wanted to begin with, in some sort of way, a mother that loves you and sees you and those around you as a part of her life which she couldn't se before through the drug induced haze. Enjoy it while you can, then say goodbye.

Answer 5

She may have the mental capacity of a 7 year old, but she is happy. You are certainly lucky to have had your grandparents step up to the plate for you. If the car accident didn't kill her, her lifestyle certainly would have( it almost did). She is alive and happy now, but sounds like she will need someone to parent and take care of her. Sounds like a chance for you to be there andparent your mother in a way that she wasn't there for you.. Probably will be quite a challenge though. Don't feel guilty. You didn't do that to her.

Answer 6

You are not wrong in feeling this way.

Everything happens for a reason, you just have to see the positive side, which you do.

Before the accident she was doing harm to herself and her family. Now - although she might be more simplistic then she was before - she is enjoying life, loving her family, and she is not doing herself harm.

Even though she is no longer the mother figure you never had, now you have her in your life as a positive entity.

I wish you understanding and love. You have no reason to feel bad.

Answer 7

You have every right to feel what you want to feel. You're doing the right thing by being honest with yourself. At first, when you were growing up, your mother didn't want to take full responsibilities for her actions by doing drugs and not being there for you when you needed her. But, I do applaud her for changing her lifestyle, because now, your mother needs you more than ever. Encourage her to attend counseling or therapy sessions, continue to support her, and most importantly, be there for her. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 8

No. It was the best thing. Think about it. If she never got hit by that car, then she would still be drinking and doing drugs and wasting her life. If she was still in all that, then she might have died another way, maybe a gang bang! You never know.

Answer 9

Sometimes things happen for a reason. I wouldn't feel bad if I were you. If this WOULDNT have happened chances are she would have been killed by a drug OD or a drug dealer. Stay strong, sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Answer 10

Don't feel too bad. She's a better person,and now she has learned to depend on others that she had previously ignored. She has become living proof of the statement "The Lord works in mysterious ways".