Unhappy relationship advice.?

Question

I know that Y answers isn't the best place for advice, but sometimes strangers help more than loved ones. I'm so unhappy in my relationship, but I don't want to end it. We've been together for about 7 months, but she shows virtually no affection; furthermore, she seems so outgoing and fun around others but quiet and introverted around me. I asked her what I can do to be a better man, and she said that the thought of me brings a smile to her face and that she is happy. She says that meeting me was like angels coming down from heaven, but she NEVER shows love for me. She seems cold. Sometimes, I'll mention something in e-mail for instance about how I feel about her, and she won't respond. She'll act like I didn't even say it. She is so guarded. She has been hurt in the past and has a beautiful daughter. I've fallen in love with both her and her daughter. Her behavior pushes me away, and I'm insecure as it is. It just makes me feel more insecure. Advice?

Her behavior makes my mind tick around her. I can't concentrate on little things like watching a movie with her. I just get lost in thought. It's just become a major problem, but I do love her. I've talked to her about the same issue twice now, but nothing has changed.

Answer 1

hmmm she says one thing and act differently. she's treating you like a safety-net. she might think that you're boring. she has to realize what a good thing she has. you need to have time for yourself. pick up a new activity, or join a gym. something that remove yourself from her for awhile. time and space apart will make you both realize how important each other is.

Answer 2

Friend. She is screwing with your head as all women will atempt. Im not sure how old you are but Im guessing late teens or early twenties. My advice for you is simple. Sometimes its best not to listen to words and instead focus on the physical things she has done to make you feel this way. She shows no affection. She doesnt respond to small acts of love. She seems happier and more outgoing around others. She is not seeming anything. She probably is happier around others. Apparently she was in fact harmed mentally or phsyically in her previous relationship. ( Or did she do the harming?) You will never truly know because you werent there. I would suggest that while love is a very powerful emotion and should be pursued at times, from what Ive read however this isnt one of those times. I once got with a woman with children who I loved dearly but after about 6 or 7 months she started fading away from me. I thought it woulds pass but it actually only grew worse in a sickening mental way. I waited a long time before I did anything about it and I regretted it everyday for a long time. When it really boils down to it, no woman is worth all the headache that seems to come along with one thats been in a deep previous relatioship. Find you somebody fresh and new not emotionally or mentally destroyed or scarred from the past. Remember scars never fully heal. As bad as that sounds its the only advice that guarantees a fresh start. I hope you take these words to heart.

Answer 3

You sound like a sweet gentle soul, the kind of man any woman would be so blessed to have.

Her behavior absolutely stems from being hurt in the past. We women often times find it difficult to get the pain out of our systems, out of our emotional/physical even spiritual systems.

This then spills out into our relationships, and affects the ones we love. In fact, we want to love and may not even know a healthy way of loving.

Please know that she needs help in dealing with her issues. For you to hang in there will take a lot of energy, and you have to be prepared and accept that this is for the long haul (if you love her).

Help her seek help. This is the best thing you can do right now.

However, keep in mind that her behavior will not change or may in fact worsen. It may come to a point where you have to walk away. Never lose yourself because you think you love someone. Love has nothing to do with losing oneself at the cost of another.

Answer 4

Your girlfriend is of the guarded type. Tread carefully with her. If you come on too strong or behave in a needy way this might reflect negatively in her eyes.

My advice is to back off a bit and be cool. Sometimes, giving a little less attention will work in your favor.

Answer 5

you're a sweetheart and you need to give her some time coz some women do take time to open up.she doesn't show love coz may be she's badly deceived or hurt in the past. you keep being yourself and if your guts tell you that she does love you then give your heart a chance and stay in the relationship.be secure coz when you love some one,your already a winner !

Answer 6

She should be spending time with her daughter instead of going out. You are the one who needs to be taken care of yourself. You need to loves yourself first before you can love another. This sounds to me as you are letting her use you. You deserve better than her and that's the truth! Break free, my friend. You will find true love when you're not looking. Jesus loves you

Answer 7

the same thing happened to me... except i'm in high school so it was completly different but i know what you mean... it was hard for me but we ended our relationship... about a week later she sent me an email saying she wanted to get back together but i think that if this g/f doesn't work out there is someone better

Answer 8

Give her enough space. Sounds like you haven't. This women has been honest with you. You could mess her up with your insecurity. Please slow down and smell the roses.