if a guy is cheating on you(and doesn't know u know) does he actually still love u even though he says he does and is it a phase he is going thru since you've been together fo quite a while?
2007-01-19 04:39:07 · 43 answers · asked by taylor09 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i believe if he could cheat on u that theres no way he is still in love with u. not a phase but a way of life for some. your are groping at straws to find an excuse for his behavior, in denial really . but denial is only so u won't have to accept what is true. it is really hard at first when we learn the love of our life has cheated on us, we go through all kinds of things in our minds, trying hard to comprehend it, as we are in shock over it. but chances are he has been cheating on u and your seeing who he really is, as painful as it is, we have to accept the truth and decide what to do about the information we know. even if u have been together awhile, and have alot invested in the relationship it doesn't matter to the one cheating, as he really doesn't respect u or love u anymore, as someone else has stolen his heart. when something like this happens it is harder than hell to accept it, and believe it so we sort of stay in this limbo where we really don't know what to do. personally if they cheat on u, it's best to move on, and not chance it happening again, and how can we ever trust that person again? kind of hard.
2007-01-19 04:54:12 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ofcourse its NOT okay.. he totally doesnt love you, when u love someone you dont cheat on them so dont give him that excuse of going through a phase, you can either do two things, if you know it'll hurt him more if u tell him that you know hes cheating and walk out on him or if you just all of a sudden stop talking to him and act like you've lost interest.. Do what you think is gonna hurt him more
2007-01-20 10:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To discover the man you love is pursuing other women to have sex with, is a sudden and unexpected shock, and a devastating hurt.
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried, but at least now you know what is going on.
Then why is he continuing to lie straight-faced, while you secretly cry, and continuing to tell you that he loves you?
He would love to continue having sex with you, which he views as a "sure" thing because he's already established a relationship with you, while he continues to string you along and pursue other women to have MORE sex with.
It is not because you did not "satisfy" him sexually, or he would have straight-forwardly broken up with you.
The sad reality is that your relationship was over the day he began cheating, before you even found out.
The sad truth is he is now an oversexed, greedy, liar who loves sex, regardless how he was when you first began your relationship.
This is not a one time "drunken" mistake because it was premeditated over time, it is a deal-breaking character flaw that you can not change, no matter how much you still love him.
You can't take him back because it will only affirm his view of you as "old reliable". He left you with no other choice but to cut him off completely-- screen your calls with caller ID and do not pick up the telephone when he calls.
Time heals all wounds. In the meantime, take vitamins, go on a diet, go to the gym, get a new haircut, get a manicure and pedicure, shop for new clothes, shoes, and jewelry, focus on your studies or enroll in school, surf the web, call and visit your family, clean your house, go to the movies, rent DVD's, watch TV, focus on your job or get a job, travel, start a business, socialize with your friends, and get extra sleep.
When you find yourself missing him and tempted to call or email him, brush your teeth, take a shower, style your hair, polish your nails, and repeat the serenity saying "Grant me the courage to change the things that I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can not change, and the wisdom to know the difference" over and over if you have to. Hold your head up. Hold your head high. You can do it. You can make it.
2007-01-19 09:11:36 · answer #3 · answered by Venus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is cheating on you then he doesn't really love you. That is painful to hear. But in the end your better off without because if he cheats once, he will cheat again (even though he may tell you he won't). Cheating usually means that something in the relationship is lacking for him, he may just be bored. How long have ya'll been together? If I were you, I would dump him and move on.
2007-01-19 04:42:38 · answer #4 · answered by PrincessShine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to all the comments of 'once a cheat, always a cheat'. It is a generalisation. Although generally true, every case is different.
First thing to think about is whether you can love and trust him.
Then, if you want it to work between you you will need to lay down some rules though. I'd suggest confronting him. Make him tell you how he feels about you, etc. IF you still think it can work, then get relationship counselling (both of you). He won't want it, but if he cares he will do it.
And I strongly recommend that you don't give him any more chances. If he strays again, after all that, then you can bet on him doing it again.
2007-01-19 05:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by The Truth 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no phase about cheating. It is what it's definition defines. Why would you continue to be with someone that is cheating on you. That does not make sense. You are only allowing the hurt to subside on you more. You need to be rational about this so called relationship you are in. Love wouldn't cheat you.
2007-01-19 04:48:18 · answer #6 · answered by Ab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheats, he doesnt respect you. He might love you, but definitly DOES NOT RESPECT you. Move on... there is some guy out there that will NEVER do this to you. Cheating isnt a phase, its a bad habit that doesnt go away. He has probably cheated on others before you, and will cheat on others after you as well.
2007-01-19 04:41:38 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun..if you know, what are you still doing with him? I can see if this is the first time he has done this and feels horrible once you tell him you know about it! People make mistakes, yes, however i have always felt that if a person does it once, who to say they aren't going to do it again!!! Especially if you accept that persons apology and take him back. In his mind...if she took me back once she will take me back again. You are just setting yourself up to have it happen again. He may care about you, but apparently not enough to NOT cheat. He also has no respect for your feelings!!! The writing is on the wall. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
2007-01-19 04:48:43 · answer #8 · answered by kw3647 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's cheating,it's not a phase. Once you break the bond of commitment, there's no going back. Move on and find a guy who only wants to be with you.
2007-01-19 04:44:00 · answer #9 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is only my opinion.
In a situation where a person cheats on a person once and feels guilty about it, never does it again (only does it once), and knows with all they're heart that he/she still loves the person they cheated on and wants to work to fix all mistakes, then I think it's possible.
But if a person is in a relationship and continues to cheat over and over again, sometimes even with the other person knowing, then there isn't much love there at all.
I think we all make mistakes, but if we realize that we've made a mistake and work to do better, it makes a big difference.
2007-01-19 04:48:47 · answer #10 · answered by Y.a.S.L 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋