Argument Against Disciplining Children?

Question

I have a daughter who I want to keep away from sin. I don't want her having sex before marriage and I don't want her stealing, etc. I told her that she shouldn't do these things because they are sins, but she said the following:

"Trying to define sin is judging. Judging is something we're not supposed to do because the bible forbids it. You are in effect waving the hand of God, usurping God's authority."

So then is it un-Christian of me to try to tell my child what is or what isn't a sin so that they can have some direction in their lives?

Answer 1

impossible, sin is everywhere. best you can do is educate and let her know the consequences of her actions are the price for poor judgement, bad decisions or misdeeds. (as you say, sin)
she has a good point and it sounds like she's pretty smart. you have done and I'm sure are doing as much as you can to help her grow to face the REAL world, just don't send her out unaware of the evil that is out there like so many of my protected enlaws....they had such a sterile environment when they were raised with in the catholic church that when the got out into the world it took some of them over 10 years to learn how to deal with the pitfalls and lies that face us all.
Remember what they say about the preachers daughter! The more you try to tie them down the more they rebel.
Just give her your loving advice and undying support and Pray often!
Good Luck:)

Answer 2

First of all, I would like to say that I would have been blown away with her on that one. That took some thinking. It also sounds like a good way of manipulating you. Defining sin is not judging. We were given what sin is in the bible. Like someone had said before me, the bible gives us the definition we just repeat it.

If it was my child, I would start by telling her that they are not the same thing and give her the reasons why. Of course, this would have to be done in a non-threatening way. One important point that I try to remember when teaching our children is that they need to know that no matter what they do, we will still love them. I would tell her that she shouldn't do these things is teaching her God's words, but that you would love her unconditionally no matter what her own personal choices are. My son is only 12, but when I talk to him about what is sins and not sins, I also try to incorporate other reasons on why he shouldn't do things. Like sex, for instance. There are so many more reasons not to have it, and at this age, because it is a sin doesn't seem to always be the best way from keeping them to do it. Other reasons could be diseases, pregnancy, giving yourself to someone slowly takes away from the person you are (especially if he turns out to be the wrong one).

Answer 3

QUOTING God's word is not judging.
Quoting God's word is Using His authority, not usurping it.
God has already Defined sin.
Sit her down and show her these verses:
Romans 1:22-32
1 Corinthians 7th chapter
Galatians 5:19-23
James 4:7,8
Ephesians 6:1,2,3
Romans 10:17 Hear
Mark 16:15,16 Believe
Luke 13:3,5......Repent
Acts 8:35-39....Confess
Romans 6:1-4 Immersed in Baptism
1 Corinthians 11:23-28 Lord's Supper
Ephesians 5:19: Col. 3:16,17 Sing only
Hebrews 10:25 Attendance important (Titus 3:8) (James 4:17)

Hebrews 9:27 For it is appointed unto man once to die and after this is the judgment.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Christian and member of the Church of Christ in PA ( feel free to contact me, see my profile)

Answer 4

Your daughter needs to respect you as a parent. As a parent you have authority over your daughter, until she reaches the legal age when she becomes an adult. Even after that age you have moral authority to guide her and keep her from sinning.

You are not trying to define sin, it is already defined in the bible and so you are not being judgmental. Sin is sin and if your daughter sins, then she must face the consequence(s).

There are times when you have to be "cruel to be kind". You have to be strict for her own good. She will respect you for that in the future - it may be tough at the moment, but just keep on telling her what is right and what is wrong.

Maybe it would be useful for the two of you to speak with your pastor or priest?

Answer 5

okay it also says that we should tell our brother if they are sinning and correct them. read paul i know its in the letters to the churches just not sure which one. so how do we reconcile not judgeing and telling someone they have sinned? they simply are not the same thing. if i judge in the context of that i have condemmed you to your fate. i am not smart enough to actually see everything and be everywhere so i am in no position to judge/condem anyone. but if i look at what the bible has in it i can clearly see that we are not supposed to do things such as the ten commandments i think she might want to look at one or two. but here is also the deal you dont trust her so she is backed into a corner isnt she. you have already figured that she is going to do those things so you are beating it into her head that she is sinning. live by the law die by the law. and as a parent you are supposed to watch out for her and keep her on the narrow path so she really has no justification to lash back like that.

honestly you both need go to church and read the bible together. and type oxytocin into a search engine and see why you shouldnt have sex with multiple people. its the trust hormone and its release during orgasm. it helps people bond and trust each other. but have to many different people cause the release and you become immune and cant form that solid long lasting relationships.

Answer 6

Your daughter sounds slick. She's trying to twist the scriptures around so that you can't say yes or no on anything and then she can do whatever she wants.

Sin is an objective evil. You are not judging anyone or anything when you point out sin. If I call a murderer a murderer, am I judging them? Judgement means the decision of whether a person is good or evil and if they'll end up in hell or heaven. We are not doing that when we call a sin a sin.

Stick with it with your daughter. She knows right from wrong, obviously, or she would not be putting up that kind of fight. You're doing your job as a parent by trying to keep her on the straight and narrow. Keep it up.

Answer 7

If you are living by bible standards as long as you can pick up God's word and show your daughter what God has to say on a certain issue then it is not you speaking but God, if you use the bible as a guide line then all you can do is teach there are a lot of temptations in this world today, you cannot follow them where ever they go all the time, just keep reminding them of the things they will be running into out in the world today, and above all, you will need guidance and prayer your self it is no easy task to raise a child today

Answer 8

O.K., here's how I feel. You should put it into a perspective that she can understand. Calling some thing a "sin" isn't very effective with teens. It's too vague and the possibility of punishment is almost non-existant in their minds. Saying that sex & stealing are a sin is true in your case, but how about this:

Educate her on why having sex as a teen is a dangerous thing. Unwanted pregnancy would be the best of a bad situation, but how about AIDS or Herpes??? Hum, how would she feel about explaining either of those things to a potential husband, or how about dying in a most uncomfortable way?????

Stealing is wrong. It could lead to jail or generally mess up your life.

Also who's the parent here??? You have the power to enforce rules and punishments as long as she lives in your home. I love my children and I will always help them, but there are consequences for bad behavior. My kids know that. If I caught them (or the police did) there would be such an @ss beating in store, plus the fact of making them own up and replace/pay for stolen stuff makes them think twice about it!

Answer 9

Judging would be accusing her of these sins. You simply showed your concern for her future by expressing the things you hope she would not do. The bible itself states those things as sins. one of the 10 commandments, do not steal. The bible talks about how fornication and lusting is a sin. In the index of your bible, look under the words sex, stealing, fornication and even sin. They will lead you to verses that support your comments as being factual, not judgmental. I think your daughter is just pulling a fast one on you, and wants you to feel some sort of Guilt for trying to retain control on her behavior. Mother beware! Good luck, God bless, and stand your ground- she will thank you for it later in life. Remember the verse- Train a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.

Answer 10

It is your job as a parent to teach your daughter right and wrong. The whole "judge not" thing is basically about calling someone an evil person for sinning, when in fact we all do it. Discipline on the other hand is about teaching your child right from wrong. Judging does not teach, it only hurts the person who is being judged. Discipline on the other hand is done out of love, not to say "you are an evil person," but to say "I want you to be the person that God wants you to be." No kid wants to be disciplined, but you can't let that stop you. You're the parent, do what you need to do.