Should we teach children to try to escape from kidnappers, or would that be dangerous?

Question

Everyone is talking about the fact that Shawn Hornbeck, who was kidnapped and held captive for several years, seemingly could have escaped but did not.

Should we teach our children to escape in a situation where they think they have an opportunity to escape, or should we teach them to cooperate?

Of course, we would like to be able to see the situation and make the decision ourselves, as parents, whether an escape opportunity is safe or not. But we can't do that. So what should we tell our kids to help them make this decision on their own?

Answer 1

I would want my child to escape if possible. I'll teach my children that these predators lie to them to get them to stay.

Answer 2

I have told my daughter to escape. I told her if someone she doesn't know ever asks her to help look for a lost puppy or kitten or even asks her for directions, to run and scream like bloody hell. No adult needs to ask a small child how to get anywhere, in my opinion. I would rather she over reacted to those situations than to get caught up in it. She even said that she would rather look stupid than be kidnapped. I also told her to kick and bite and scream and fight like hell to get loose if anybody lays a hand on her. But once the kidnappers have the child, I know it is out of the kids hands. Most of the time it takes a miracle to save them once they have been taken.
That is my worst fear as a mother.

Belive me, I do everything I can to keep her (and her little brother) in my sights when she's outside We have a fenced in backyard that intersects with all of our neighbors, the gate is pad locked, and she's not allowd to play out front without me or her father outside with her. At the store she stays by my side. We have also been discussing enrolling the kids in karate or some kind of self defense classes. I just hate that the world has come to that. Kids are innocent and should be exempt from criminals, but unfortunately they seem to be the biggest targets.

I believe that boy was terrified that if he escaped, he or his family would be harmed. That man probably filled his head with such terror, he was afraid to run. That's what mind control is. He was only 11 when he was taken and then probably got to the point that he settled into his life. Why do you think the guy wasn't afraid to go to work? He knew he had that kid on a chain, even if it was only in his mind. The most important part is he did what he had to do to survive, and thank God, he was finally found. Thank God the other boy is OK too. That is a very scary situation.

Answer 3

I will definitely have mine in some type of self defense and then will tell them like my Mom told me "to fight no matter what they say." She would joke and say that I was so mean that they would bring me back real quick anyway. She also told me again and again that no one could ever hurt her and that people say that to scare children and that I should know that bad people lie and not to believe them.

I think that too often parents teach their children to believe what adults say and that sets them up to be taken advantage of. I've told several kids that I know to be aware that some people lie and that if any adult ever asked them for help that the best thing they can do is run away and then call 911 for them if they need help. I explain that if someone really lost their puppy that a good person would never approach a child and that if they do and if they did see the puppy then they should run tell their parents and let their parents relay the information.

Answer 4

OMG Yes I taught my children very young to scream FIRE! if they even thought someone was going to take them. It may sound crazy but people come running if they think thee is a fire in progress drawing attention to your child and in turn the potential kidknapper. I was ALMOST kidknapped when I was in Kindergarten and If I wouldn't have screamed my head off I am sure I would prob. Not be here. I threw my books and jacket at the man who tried to chase me down to get me in his car. I then ran to a house and went right into the front door thank god it was unlocked! I was screaming the whole time!
I have also told my children to do anything possible to get away. It is usually the second location that kidknappers take a child where they are either violated or killed. My kids know never to allow anyone to take them anywhere at any cost! It may be a scary thought "your child fighting someone" But it is scarier to me thinking I would never know where they were or what had happened to them.
Tell your kids to Bite, Kick, scream, punch, and do anything to get away from someone.
That young girl Carlie was kidknapped on her way home from school.... they found her body 45 minutes later dumped at a church. They said there was no struggle at all from the girl. I would rather know my child at least fought for her life

Answer 5

TEACH THEM! They have to know what to do. There have been stories on the news that a young kid was almost kidnapped but they screamed and ran away. They were attracting too much attention. Other sad cases had dead bodies found later.

We don't know why Shawn didn't run away. I think he was threatened. Others like Elizabeth Smart didn't feel like she could leave. Don't blame the kids that are kidnapped.

Answer 6

Definately have them learn a form self-defense (make sure the class teaches defense against grabs, defense against people who bigger, and defense against knifes).

In the case of someone holding them with physical force or perhaps with a knife, they can learn ways to get away.

With a gun, it's probably best to teach them to cooperate and pray for the best.

It all depends. For instance, they should know that if the person has a mask on, NOT to rip it off (since then the person will probably have to kill them to maintain a hidden identity). Someone with a mask may just hurt them and then let them go since the child cannot describe the attacker to the police. So in that case, the child may want to cooperate and hope that's the case.

You really need to go to karate/self defence classes and watch and see how each intructors talks to the kids and the tips and tricks he can give them to defend themselves and use wisdom.

EDIT: As time goes on with the child enrolled in self-defence, a lot of children can be able to evalute the situation on their own and know their limitations and abilities and judge what moves they can make to get away. Especially if the child has be training for years in it. So it's best to start them in it as soon as you can.

Answer 7

what you need to teach your children about is not escaping once they've been kidnapped, but how not to get kidnapped at all!

Explain to your child about not talking to strangers, screaming EXTREMELY loudly if someone ever tries to kidnap them, and ways to defend themselves against attackers... I suppose you could also talk to your child about how to make the best desicion if they DO end up being kidnapped (for example, tell them to call 911 at their first opportunity and say FIRST who and where they are, then tell their situation)... Make sure to explain all possible choices to your son/daughter... After that, it's up to them to make the right desicion if they are ever kidnapped (hope fully the won't be!).

Answer 8

Children should be taught to distance themselves immediately when a stranger approaches. Never just stand there .... start making movement away but keep the stranger in sight always. If the stranger continues moving toward the child, he runs and screams as loudly as poissible. Also, children should realize that all abductors are not dirty old men. One was a very young, beautifully dressed young woman who " needed help finding her puppy".

Answer 9

Kids should be informed and taught proper decision making skills if something along these lines were to happen.

just dont let it turn into the fiasco as it did in the episode of south park where butters was abducted and the town went nuts trying to prevent people from harming their children by doing ridiculous tasks.

Answer 10

yes I think we should ,I still do not understanding why in the world he din't Pick up the Phone or Email someone or ride away when he was outside.If this guy went to work every day and left him all alone ,WHY din't he run Like the wind!!! I have taught my children about strangers since they was little enough to understand and have told them to make Noise Alot of Noise if someone trys to Grab them!! I made them memorize our Phone # and Address. we really do need to teach our children asap that everywhere you go there is bad people out there,Never no anything alone that includes going to the bathroom in a public place,It only takes a second for a Stranger to take you away.Thank God Both Boys are Safe,I still have alot of Questions I would like answers to.