A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:
"Each morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant and make sure he's in a good mood. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don't discuss your problems with him, as that will only make him stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs. Encourage him to watch some type of sporting event on TV. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim.
"If you can do this for 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
2007-01-19 04:01:01 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
On the way home the husband asked his wife , "What did the doctor say?"
"You're gonna die," she replied.
2007-01-19 04:01:45 · update #1
Oh yes,that is funny
2007-01-19 04:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choosing a wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's resea rch. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
If you don't send this to five OLD friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world
2007-01-19 07:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good 1 lmao 10/10
2007-01-19 07:39:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Laughed like a drain âºâºâºâº
2007-01-19 04:06:50 · answer #4 · answered by ♣ My Brainhurts ♣ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're defiantly on a roll! Loved it!
2007-01-19 04:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by Laura S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i loooooove it lol, *says the married woman who has homocidal tendancies towards her hubby lots of the time* lol
2007-01-19 07:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by bunnykins 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahhahhhh I laughed until I peed
2007-01-19 04:05:18 · answer #7 · answered by LunaFaye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no sympathy there then hard hearted ***** 10/10
2007-01-19 05:30:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
...and married to a woman like that, dying is probably his best option.
2007-01-19 04:06:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked that joke it was funny..keep it up.
2007-01-19 04:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by Trey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋