what would you do with an 18 year old who lives at home and is verbally abusive and refuses to follow rules.?

Answer 1

He's 18 and no longer your responsibility. Kick the ingrateful little S.O.B. out.

Answer 2

He's an adult now. As my father used to say "It's my way or the highway. You'll do as I say as long as you live under my roof". Tell him he has to get a job and move out. Give him a time frame for this to occur (two-four weeks). If he gets upset and starts yelling then leave the room. Do not talk with someone who is being disrespectful. If he won't get a job and move out then while he's out of the house you're going to have to change all the locks, put his stuff on the porch and write him a note letting him know that you love him, but refuse to be treated this way. You wish him the best and hope when he gets some perspective you two can have a talk and try to repair this damaged relationship. This is going to be very difficult for you because you're a loving and caring parent. You need to be strong and assertive. It's in everyone's best interest. Good Luck!

Answer 3

smack him up side the head?
i am very serious here! he must understand that you are still the parent and what you say goes.
my son is 18, lives at home, he shirks chores,BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I LET HIM BE VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO ME!
he has respect for me even if he doesn't approve of all the decisions i make. (of course when he was 5 he called me a b*tch and i smacked him in the mouth.)(think he learned his lesson? cause he's never done it again.)
sit him down and just be blunt--go by the rules or out you go.
i have an 18 year old and a 17 year old (sons). i got tired of sitting in p*ss every time i went to the bathroom. so i said "the very next time i do, you two will move into the camper and fend for yourselves" needless to say, they raise the lid now.
don't get me wrong, i'm not a hard@ss to my kids, i love them dearly, but if nothing else i demand (and deserve) respect. thats what it all really boils down to---don't you think?

Answer 4

Obviously you have talked until you are blue in the face and nothing has worked. Plus being verbally abusive is a type of control and intimidation. It is time to introduce your child to the real world. Change the locks and kick them out. Now this can be temporary but it will force your child to come to you and ask to come back. You have to take the power position to begin to effect change rather than let this go on and on. To be sure it will be tough but you have to have a place to start.

Answer 5

Keep yourself calm and set the guidelines. It's your home, and, after 18, he/she no longer has a "right" to live there. If his/her behavior is abusive and/or annoying, remember that you would not accept such behavior from a guest, and remind him/her that that is his/her current status.

If the behaviors do not change, you will need to take more stringent measures. No one, including your child, has the right to disrupt your home - ever. Do not, under any circumstances, back down. You determine how others treat you, and you cannot put up with abusive behavior - ever.

You CAN handle this; you are the real adult here, and that's your advantage.

Answer 6

Ok for starters the kid she be out of the house he is 18 already he needs to find somewhere else to go dont let anyone ever verbally abuise you aand if he is not following the rules tell him you ether follow what i saw or you need to find another place to stay you cant keep puttitng up with peoples stuff tell him straight out

Answer 7

first of all, he is 18 and is not your responsibility anymore. obviously he doesn't appreciate your being there for him like he should. there is no reason why he should be verbally abusive or in any other way abusive to you or anybody else. maybe if you make him get out into the real world, it will make him see what he had and he will come to appreciate it more. hope this helps. good luck.

Answer 8

unfortunately, you do need to have them leave the house. Letting them stay would not only disrupt your life, but create a bad pattern for them. They need to learn that it isn't alright to treat people like that. Set boundaries and stick with them. There are groups that can help depending on you 18 year old issue. i.e. alanon, tough love, etc. Remember you should never do anything for them that they should do for themselves. And if they can't follow rules in your home, how will they ever follow rules in society?

Answer 9

I wouldn't kick him or her out right away because that can ruin the person's life if they are not able to support themselves and chances are this person will mature into a respectful adult in a few years. I would give an ultimatum that the person straightens up or is expected to be out of the house by _______. Give them a 2 or 3 month lead time and show that you are serious. If things haven't changed with their behavior you have to stand strong on your ultimatum and because you already gave a warning they can't really be surprised that they have to leave.

Answer 10

Chrissy personally I would sit down with this youth and inform them that although I love them unconditionally I cannot or will not be treated like this any longer and that it would be in everyone's best interest if they were to move out and find different living arrangements. Obviously this may create more backlash and/or abuse from this child, but stick to my guns I would. If they were to say refuse to leave then I would contact the police and have them come and physically remove this child from my residence. Parenting is one of the toughest job positions any of us will face throughout our lives and kids (the majority anyways) are not aware of the sacrifices that we as their parents have to go through in order to raise them. If any of my children were to behave in the manner of which you spoke I would certainly keep the line of communication open with them, after they had moved out. And I would hope that this reality check would help them to overcome their ignorance and feelings of grandeur as the real world will not be so forgiving. I would doubt very much that this child is open to any form of counseling at this time and as such would do much better living independently.

Answer 11

I would show him the door.

In my house there are rules and if they can't be followed and a person wants to be rude and abusive, then it is time to say good-bye, including family. Especially if they are 18 and over. I figure you are old enough to take care of yourself and I won't have abusive freeloaders in my house.

Been there done that.