my boyfriend (hes american) and me ( from dominican) will be getting marry next april. we are makin a civil wedding first and then in the states we'll make it by the church. all of my family members are coming but his family won't. why? bc they are super busy(that's what my boyfriend told me) (hes dad is engineer/arquitect and his mother babysis 12 kids everyday and she's a teacher 3 days at the week)..... the only who will come is 2 of his childhood best friends.
i mean... for me is very important at least one of his parents assistance. i think hes afraid about something, which i dont know.
Im feeling sad about this! :(
Also i was thinking that if they are not agree, i will just move it to another time or to another date where they will be able to come.
2007-01-19 03:47:01 · 10 answers · asked by *live,laugh,love* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all I would like to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding.
Now, you don't specify where the civil wedding will be and if that is the service you're referring to which your fiance's family won't be attending. I'm assuming in the Dominican Republic since your family will be there and you're stating your family will be there.
If this is the case and they WILL be attending the church service in the US, then I can see their point of view. They wouldn't want to get passports, pay for tickets and go through the hassle of arranging for a sitter for 12 kids to attend a civil service when the more important church service will be held in the states.
If, however, they're refusing to go to EITHER service, that's an entirely different matter. If this is the case, then you should insist that you and your fiance sit down with his parents and have a talk before you even go through with the civil service.
It's true that you're marrying him, but you also will have to associate with the family throughout your marriage, and the rest of your life if there are children in your future - with or without remaining in the marriage down the road.
2007-01-19 04:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by dragonwing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too also would feel it important for at least some of his family or one of his parents to be able to come. I too would suspect something more than "they're super busy"! Who misses their child's wedding/marriage because they are busy!! It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. If it IS true, then their family is very obviously not that close which would be sad. Anyway....my opinion is...put the ball back in his court. Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that you are disappointed his parents are unable to attend on that date due to their busy schedules but it means so much to you, and you're sure to him as well, that you would like to postpone it until a time which is better for them. So, if he could please talk with them to find out when would be the most suitable to their schedule and get back to you and you'll plan for then. This way, it puts the ball back in his court to either provide a better date for when his parents can come, or to fess up that it really has nothing to do with how busy his parents are...and that would be an opportunity for the two of you to address the real issue (if there is a "real" issue). If the two of you are to commit to marriage, there certainly should be anything hidden or any secrets anyway. If his parents have an issue with the two of you getting married, that's something you and your boyfriend should definately be discussing. I hope it all works out the way you want and good luck.
2007-01-19 12:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by Super-Mom9 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would check into things more. once your married the inlaws come as a part of the package. It could a simple as they did get the notice they needed. When my husband and I got married we did in 21 days but we had been dating for almost 2 years. most of his family was out of state so they could not make it. well good luck
2007-01-19 12:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by lady_jane_az 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's obviously just saying they are busy to spare your feelings. He most likely told his parents and they freaked out and refused to come or help in anyway. Give it time, no paret would miss thier childs wedding, even if they don't agree with it, I am sure they will come around as the wedding gets closer
2007-01-19 11:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend you call his mom when you know she won't be busy. Try to start building a relationship. She how she acts towards you. I would explain that you are disappointed that she is too busy to come and ask if there would be a better time to have it. Make her more a part of it.
2007-01-19 13:44:58 · answer #5 · answered by justjen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mmmmmm, i think you should really find out the real reason i mean you are going to marry this person and you dont even know the parents, that is not a good thing. I think you should really think about this.
2007-01-19 11:54:44 · answer #6 · answered by only me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend and i have decided to get married this october 2007 and guess what? he hasn't spoken to his parents about it yet. i don't know why. and he hasn't porposed to me either. so im thinking, we only have 8 months to go for the preparation part and i dont know what to do, i cant make any moves until he tells our parents. its hard coz what if i book the church, the reception, etc. and they won't agree with our plans? i dont know if he's got any plans or what. its just driving me nuts because we've been talking about it since 2006 and still, nothings happening here.
maybe you need to talk to your fiance and ask him whats goin' on. goodluck!
2007-01-19 12:09:36 · answer #7 · answered by Chelsea's Momi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, your first try should be to try to schedule it aorund them. It does sound as if it's busy for them. There could be all kinds of reasons for not wanting to come to the wedding. I don't think it's you so don't feel bad. Just accomodate as best you can. Remember, it's your wedding not theirs.
2007-01-19 11:58:51 · answer #8 · answered by Ricky J. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are marrying your boyfriend - not his family. You have your family - thats all that should matter.
2007-01-19 11:55:25 · answer #9 · answered by YDoncha_Blowme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what kind of parent won't go to their own sons wedding!?? oh yeah, the kind that dont' even know there's a wedding! you belive his lies?!?
2007-01-19 11:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by Tacyella 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋