Sex Outside of Marriage a Sin. What if one never marries?

Question

What is the christian stand-point for premarital sex for people that will likely never marry? I am single, in my 20's and have very little chance of getting married, but I do enjoy sex very much (though it occurs rarely).
I often hear people say things like "premarital sex is riddled with guilt/ is unfulfilling/ bad..etc" . I don't particularly have any of these negative feelings/guilt about it.
What is the christian standpoint for single people having sex if they will never marry, or at what age is it considered 'ok' for single people to fornicate? Does God expect those who never marry to remain celibate?

Some people have asked so I will elaborate that I am a woman.
I don't have anything against marriage, it is not a matter of avoiding it or thinking it is bad. On the contrary I grew up in a household with LOVING parents who are still very much in love after some 30 years of being together.. so I am not jaded in this respect.
I am just confused as to it being God's will to never marry and then never being allowed to experience the joys and pleasures of sex which I believe are biologically neccesary, natural and healthy. I mean if God created everyone, then why are some people undesirable as life partners and destined to never marry and then expected to NEVER enjoy the pleasure and benefits of sex?

Answer 1

Today's Christianity expects sex to only occur in marriage (to a single partner). In the past couple of thousand years this was probably a good idea as women were limited by society in how much they could support themselves and a family. Also there were not reliable contraceptives to prevent possible pregnacies. The single partner part was a change from former customs where person could have as many mates as he could support, and really is not a "hard and fast" requirement in the Bible, but has become that over the years.

Answer 2

From the previous answers...you are getting the traditional Christian answer - it is a sin, and if you never marry you are to remain celibate.

But much of that is the old taboo about sex and seeing it as an impure thing. "It is only for procreation in a marital relationship."

God created sex and He made it feel good. Sex is a double-edged sword because it can create pain, guilt, etc, etc. But I am of the belief sex also has meaning as a way of growing closer with someone you love. Sex can help demolish ego and be an expression of love. It can have deep meaning - outside of creating children.

I would not do it just because it felt good or I was bored. That would be exploiting the passions. There is a middle point...a balance needed.

I see sex outside of marriage may not necessarily be a sin...but lust is. Lust is indulging in the passions. It is trying to have or possess another. You think they look good so you want "to have" them. Lust does not liberate...it reinforces the ego and attaches you to objects of desire.

Lust and sex are not necessarily the same thing.

~ Eric Putkonen

Answer 3

You don't know that you have very little chance of getting married. You might 'believe' it, but you do not 'know' it. That is why the morally proper thing to do is remain chaste. All Christians are called to chastity; to keep their virginity until they are married. You know this.

You already know premarital sex is morally wrong. That's why you are attempting to justify it by claiming you will never marry, that you do not feel guilt, that you find sex fulfilling, by completely inventing the idea that sex is "okay" after reaching a certain age without marrying. None of these are relevant.

You believe, you do not know, that you will never get married. Since you cannot tell what the future holds, this does not constitute an excuse.

You are beginning to question the validity of Christian sexual morality. If you were not, you wouldn't have bothered asking this question.

If you think pre-marital sex is fulfilling, imagine how much more fulfilling sex within a marriage must be.

Also, if immoral sexual behavior cna become moral after a certain age, why not all immoral acts? Do you see the logical flaw in this idea?

God wants people who never marry to remain chaste. He expects those who never marry to live up to this Christian morality to the best of their ability.

Answer 4

Judeo-Christian tradition has taught for thousands of years that it is God's will that:
+ Single people should be celibate.
+ Married people should be faithful to each other (adultery is wrong).

The Catholic Church recognizes the power of sex when it teaches, "Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul."

Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person. A chaste person's body and spirit lives in unity and opposes any behavior that would impair that unity.

The purpose of sex is to bring a husband and wife closer and to create human life.

Fornication, sex between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman, is contrary to their human dignity and the dignity of human sexuality.

Adultery is even worse. Anyone who commits adultery
+ Does injury to the sign of the covenant which the marriage bond is
+ Transgresses the rights of the other spouse
+ Undermines the institution of marriage by breaking the contract on which it is based
+ Compromises the welfare of children who need their parents' stable union.

With love in Christ.

Answer 5

I do not know why you believe you cannot get married.

Are you a priest that have sworn to celibacy? If so, then you have to quit your sexual relationships and repent to fulfill your oath. if not you might have to break that oath and MARRY as it is obvious you're ignorant of the weigth of the oath.

However if you did not swear to be celibate then marry. Whats the fear about being married? is it the responsibility of being faithfull or what? Is it the desire to be able to escape from a relationship when its not okay or the desire to pursue fantasies without restriction. If you're a christian as you claim you will realize this thinking does not hold water before God. Get into a serious relationship and Marry. Sex is meant to be in the place of marriage not outside it.

"But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn" 1Corinth 7:9

Answer 6

Yes to the last question. Sex outside marriage is a sin, so if you aren't married or don't plan to, then sex outside marriage is still a sin.

It isn't a sin because people feel guilty or it is unfulfilling or there are bad feelings, it is a sin because God created it for a husband and wife only.

There is not an age where fornication is ok. Fornication is a sin.

Answer 7

Wow. You've wound up with a lot of answers. I hope in all the fray that mine is insightful. Let's start with the supposition that the Bible is God's way of communicating to us, and that the plain meaning is the actual meaning.

In Matthew 19:1-12, Jesus talks about divorce. The DISCIPLES replied, that if there were such high standards regarding marriage, it'd be better to remain single!

1 Corinthians 7.1-11 has Paul describing sexual purity. He says that it is better to marry than to burn with passion. He wouldn't say this unless it is the case that the unmarried are expected to be celibate. He also implies that he is celibate in verses 7 and 8, and that it is only because God has gifted him to be.

As for your chances of getting married, don't sell yourself short. One of the reasons we have a sex drive is to compel us to have relationship with that special someone, so keep looking!

Answer 8

I believe "sex" is the act of marriage. Therefore far from having little chance of it, you ARE married (in the eyes of the Almighty, which is what counts). The Almighty gave us a great gift: sex love, marriage. If you take it apart, you destroy the gift. (referring to the love in a marriage of course, not all love) Marriage is an "adhesion contract". That means it is a contract among three. If the three are a man and a woman and the state, then the Almighty is left out. I would rather include the Almighty and leave the state out.

Answer 9

Remember the purpose of sex is children. Without marriage, a child will not have the kind of support needed to grow into a fully functional adult. Sex is not just a toy. That's why priests are celebate. They too will never marry, and so will never have sex permitted them.

Then again, neither would eunichs.

Answer 10

It may not bother your conscience because it is not a bible trained conscience.

I look at it this way:

Pros & Cons to being Single or Married

Single - Freedom
Married - Sex

Which is more important to you?

Why do you feel you will never marry? They say there is someone for everyone. I have seen those couples! If someone really wants to get married, they will usually find someone.

Now, me I'm not married, never have, and I enjoy being single. I always say when I get in my 50's or 60's I'll marry someone with a nice motorhome and travel. Then all that young physcial stuff is not important and it's about personality. And no I'm not ugly. Most people consider me above average in looks. I've just enjoyed being single, traveling etc...and I am not going to get married, just to say I'm married. I don't care what other people think. They can call me an Old Maid, but I'm a happy Old Maid.