I have been married to my husband for 5 years and I am very concerned that he may be an alcoholic. It really bothers me because he has gotten physical with me. (pushed me around and he put his fist up at me, like he wanted to hit me) He doesn't drink everyday, although I think he would. The problem is when he drinks he can't stop. He has to drink until he is drunk. He has drink after drink with no pause inbetween. Last night he was drinking from 9pm until 4 am. I only know because I woke up to feed the baby at 3 am and noticed he was still up drinking alone. He doesn't think he has a problem and I am on the verge of leaving him. Any opions on what I should do??
2007-01-19 03:14:24 · 11 answers · asked by francesca e 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I really hope this is not some sick joke, because I am taking you seriously.
1. Get to a safe place. Safety is first.
2. Does it really matter if he is an alcoholic? He's abusing you!
3. Call legal aid, if you cannot afford an attorney. Get papers started.
Let him be the one fighting to save the marriage! Most important truth you will get.
2007-01-19 03:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it is only 9 to 4 and not everyday alchohol is not the issue. It's his quiet time when everybody else is asleep. Lots of giys find this time to be the most relaxed of the day........ no wife or kids no matter how much you love them. Though this could turn into a problem.
He's frustrated about something. A lot of men don't know how to express this. The basic problem is that you don't have the kind of relationship where you communicate with each other and it will get worse.
But the number one thing is the getting physical thing. There are a lot of people out there who have problems but if you are the slightest bit thoughtful, caring and protective of your family you do not threaten your wife. There are plenty of women who rationalize this and things turn out badly in the end. Threatening you wife with violence is a clear line one does not cross as a man.
Counseling...... sure. But if can't communicate that will just be a long road and increase his frustration. You owe it to yourself, your child and your marriage to take care of this. Calmly tell him you are leaving him and leave to your Mom's or whatnot. No arguement or the way you go back and forth w. each other. If he gets violent well you have your answer. The only way this will begin to change is when he is faced with losing everthing. When he realizes that he needs to change it might. Then maybe counseling and such. He does deserve a chance though and you taking matters to this level will give it to him and give him the chance to step up or fail.
You again are completely in your rights and be rest assured in your heart you did the right thing. No man should ever, ever even push his wife. Every guy knows this. Good luck to you as you are going to need it.
2007-01-19 11:58:23 · answer #2 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people think that in order to be an alcoholic you have to drink every day. I don't think that is true. My bf is an alcoholic but he doesn't think so. He doens't drink every day, but when he does drink he drinks until he is drunk and mean and if he had alcohol every day, he would drink it everyday. If you think you are in danger of being abused (and it sounds like it won't be long before that day comes) then yes you should leave. If nothing else, go to a friend, relative, your mom or somebody and stay with them until he proves he is going to AA. If he is getting to where he is starting to get physical with you, I am afraid that one day he won't just push you and then it will be even worse you. I say take your baby and move out! You don't wnat anything to happen to you or your baby so do what you have to do to hold him responsible. I am speaking from experience here, my bf is an alcoholic and he is on his way out the door because of it.
2007-01-19 11:22:48 · answer #3 · answered by hargonagain 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
God bless the alcoholic that just drinks all the time and stays drunk, we can identify those right off the bat.
Your husband sounds like a "binge drinker", doesn`t do it all the time but when he does....look out.
ALANON is a good place to start, you can just pick up a phone and talk to someone who is non-judgmental and will tell you the facts and what to do about it.
Pushing you and getting physical with you is wrong, you must protect yourself and your children FIRST.
Talk to the savvy women at ALANON, give him a choice, AA or A-lone.
This won`t get better.
2007-01-19 11:28:25 · answer #4 · answered by Bern 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well to tell you and him the truth he is an alcoholic, because he can't stop just one one. Try to get him to go to detox or to a marrigae counselor with you. Because one day he will not hold back and might hurt you bad. Then the next day he will try to tell you his sorry and it wasn't him it was teh alcohol. But if he doesn't want to go I would ask him to chose his drinking or his family. But I would just leave before he hurts you. Women shouldn't haveto put up with guys who drink and are abusive. well if he's not abusive now he's on the borderline. SO think about it and then just do what you have to do. HE can quit if he really wants to. I drank from since I was about 14 till I was 36 and I quit because I wanted to for my family and he can too.
2007-01-19 11:26:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he won't get help or is in DENIAL, that he IS a binge drinker and that is a huge sign of a problem, then i would leave him! You can't afford to wait untill he beats u or hurts ur child in some way, then u would be the monster not him! HE needs therapy ASAP!!
2007-01-19 12:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by stewiegrif27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...i hate to break it to u but he is very close of being an alcoholic. u should try n take him to a doctor to seek help b4 it gets any worst. but make sure leaving him is the last resort. u gotta think bout ur baby also and how important it is for ur baby to have a father there. its true, it aint much of a father if hes drinking all the time, but thats why u need to seek help first. if he dont want the help or if it doesnt work, then u have every right of leaving him and moving on. but try to find professional help first and go from there.
2007-01-19 11:20:43 · answer #7 · answered by oc 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Yes he has a drinking problem but I am sure he is not willing to admit it. He needs to go to AA meetings or some rehab center. If he is not willing to do this you need to attend Al-Anon meetings so you can understand that this is not your problem. It is his problem.
2007-01-19 11:22:25 · answer #8 · answered by Blue-Eyed Guy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Counseling
2007-01-19 11:18:56 · answer #9 · answered by Warren 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds to me that he has a problem.. if he has hit you.. i would leave him.. you dont need that.. any man who hits a woman is a coward and should be locked up.
2007-01-19 11:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋