How can I stop arguements between my fiancee and I?

Question

For the past few weeks me and my fiancee have been fighting almost everyday. He's 26 and I'm 22. I am more mature than he is. He expects me to do all the housework, while he sleeps or plays videogames. Is there anyway that I can get him to pay more attention to saving our relationship?

I have sat down with my fiancee countless times and talked to him about everything. He just sits there and doesn't say anything. to Richard G. I don't have to shut up if i'm telling him how i feel.

Answer 1

You have to remember your commitment to him when he proposed to you but, he can not expect you to everything for him just because he wants to sleep or play video games. If you want him to pay more attention to you have a sit down discussion with him and tell him how you are feeling and why, let him know that house work should be 50/50 and other responsibilities. If he does not want to compromise that way then you need re-evaluate the situation and take another approach. It seems you love each other and can make it work, just keep an open mind, and keep ideas fresh, You and him will get through it, just don't give up before you feel like you have to. You might want to keep the line of communication open as well.

Answer 2

Your fiance is an idiot (and a fiance, not a fiancee. You're his fiancee). Anyway, he probably has an issue around trust. Question 1 is whether you and your best friend have ever crossed any particular lines;you might need to reassure him about that. Have you given him any reason to doubt? Question 2 is why he doesn't feel able to trust that your relationship is platonic. That's harder, because it will go to the heart of the problem: has he been cheated on before? Did either of his parents or any of his family have a damaging affair? Alternatively, there is more likely to be a deeper reason. He needs to respect your wishes and to trust you. If he can't do those things then he needs to work through the issues which are holding him back. A few sessions of counselling might help him to explore the issues and find out whatthe problem is. Either way, don't give in and don't ignore the problem - you'll just be storing up relationship difficulties for the future. You can't steer clear of men for the rest of your life - he needs to have confidence in your relationship.

Answer 3

Sounds like you have found that you are not compatible.
You need to find a partner that has your same values.
You are fighting already, do not get married, do not have children. Children create more of a mess that he will not want to clean up either and you will resent him even more.
You need to find a person that has the same housework ethos as you. Or do you like coming across as a nagging ***** (I will bet dollars to tacos that he is calling you that under his breath or in his head ever time you nag him about stopping his game and cleaning).
So you liked this guy cause he did/had what? Party Fun?

But the good thing is that you have found the problems at the correct time, during the dating/learning stage.

Answer 4

He sounds like a typical guy to me. So far he has not taken you seriously, and if this is something you really cannot live with (which I do not blame you) then you have to make a decision. Sometimes we can get our men to help more around the house is all in the way the subject is approached. If you feel he will not change then you need to really decide what it is that you are willing to put up with and take action. Otherwise to him it is just "nag nag nag". Much luck to you, you will need it many of us women in your situation can attest to that!.

Answer 5

I would say that someone needs to explain to him that a wife is not a maid/personal chef/massuse or whatever else he thinks you should do...you shouldnt have to wait on him hand and foot.

I think you might want to talk to his mother. I would think any mother would be ashamed of thier son being a lazy lie abou twho takes advantage of thier mate. Maybe she can straighten him out.

Other than that just stop doing stuff for him till he realizes if he wants things done he has to do it himself. It might make the house messy or what not but he wont ever do it if youkeep doing it for him.

Answer 6

this boy is wet behind the ears, you would serve yourself for the good by finding love, like, lust somewhere else and in somebody else, picture yourself in 40 years and look back at what you put into and up with and the choices you made with this guy, if you continue on your present course, not pretty to do i know, but now(the present situation you are in) has away of holding you hostage if you donot see things for what they really are, instead of wanting not to see what they are not, not a case of love blinds, but you wanting something so bad that is not really there and never will be with this guy, only your choice to see what is real now, will let you be in 40 years that which you want and need today, reread that, your choice is now and unlimited, why limited where you want your life to go than spending it changing an un changable boy(man not the correct discription from what you have told us), get on with your life with someone else that will add to your next 40 years and not stagnate or take away from it.....

HAND have a nice day!

Answer 7

First thing is you have to get his mind off the games. It might sound naughty but if you can't get him away from the video games, parade in front of him with very little clothing or no clothing at all. Do that every time he starts playing that thing and see how long it takes him to figure out you don't want him playing it all the time.

Answer 8

Hey girl, its just me, your adopted stepmom/best friend. I think the answer you should choose is the one from Gordon as the best answer.

To the rest of the people that answered in here, I know the situation in full and she knows my feelings. What she needs is real advice. Tips if you will for helping her w/ this problem. Dont tell her to get counceling or to leave him. Offer her real life tips. Think about how you would feel if the shoe was on your foot. Or, take a look at your own spouse/partner and give her suggestions on what you do at home yourself. THATS what she is looking for.

Answer 9

If he's acting like that now, he'll always act like that. No matter how hard you try, you can't change a person. Will you be OK with being the one doing all the work for the rest of your lives? If not, maybe you should reconsider your relationship.

Answer 10

Don't participate in the fighting. When my fiance gets all p!ssy, I take off and leave him alone for awhile. Usually when I come back he is very sweet and sorry for being such an @ss.