my boyfriend (hes american) and me ( from dominican) will be getting marry next april. we are makin civil wedding first and then in the states we'll make it by the church. all of my family members are coming but his family won't. why? bc they are super busy (hes dad is engineer/arquitect and his mother babysis 12 kids everyday and she's a teacher 3 days at the week)..... the only who will come is 2 of his childhood best friends.
what do you think i should do? ask them to come? or he gotta insist them to take off a weeken and come up?
Im feeling sad about this! :(
2007-01-19 02:49:40 · 10 answers · asked by *live,laugh,love* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
His parents won't come because they're BUSY?! That's outrageous! This is the biggest day of their son's life! He needs to confront them and ask if there's a different reason that they're trying to cover up, such as being unhappy about the marriage. No one I know would even DREAM of not attending their child's wedding because of work! That's insane!
2007-01-19 03:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by Alicia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait a minute - are you asking his family to go to the Dominican Republic for a wedding while he has much younger brothers and sisters (like 1-3 years old)? If thats the case, then I can understand his family's reservations about going - just from a pure logistics/parenting standpoint. Perhaps then you have two celebrations - one in DR w/ your family, and then one back in the US with his family. Think of it this way - double the gifts.
However, if the wedding is supposed to take place in the US and they just wont travel to it because it's inconvenient, then I agree with the previous poster in saying that his family needs a wake-up call. Unfortunately, it is NOT your place to give that wake-up call to them - it's his responsibility. You do not want to start off marriage with your new "family" by calling out your in-laws like that - leave that up to him.
And be honest with yourself - is he really that sad that they arent coming? If not, then why are you pushing him so hard about it? This is his family....his past....if he's okay with his family not being there, I'd drop the issue if I were you.
So talk with him about it - discuss the issue honestly and voice your concerns - and let him do something about it. Dont go over his head directly to his parents - it's not cool.
2007-01-19 11:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by Johnny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of the groom to be in August. We would not miss the wedding. No matter that ceremony (ies). He is our child and it is a special day that can never be relived. He is our sixth son so we have been through this before. But each son is special and deserves our support.
I would at least make an effort to contact his family and find out what their real objections are and then go on from there.
Looking forward to his wedding.
2007-01-19 11:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by shortstuff 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you definitely should personally ask them to come- by phone or a handwritten letter. Explain how you want to be very close to them and you hope you can start off by sharing yoru most special day at your wedding with them. Especially if you've never met them before. Also, say how you'd be so sad if they weren't in the pictures! But close off with something like "of course I completely understand if you're too busy- no hard feelings". But I think they will come if you write them a nice little handwritten letter to show how important it is to you.
2007-01-19 11:00:06 · answer #4 · answered by nemo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How very sad that they can't take time off for their own son's wedding. I am sure if you told them how important it was for them to be there then they would. Do you think they are narked because the civil wedding would be the one where you are legally man and wife but the american one is just a blessing and they would have liked to be there at the "actual" ceremony? I think your fiancé needs to have a talk to them.
2007-01-19 11:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW... what a retched family to NOT come to THEIR SONS wedding... that is pittiful. Even family members I dont like all that much made it to my wedding. I think they should be ashamed of themselves for not coming. Definitly ask them to come, if they say things like having to work, or having school... TELL THEM TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS because its THE BIG DAY FOR BOTH OF YOU AND THEY SHOULD BE THERE TOO!
There are NO ACCEPTIBLE excuses for not coming to a wedding, UNLESS: They live VERY VERY FAR AWAY and cannot afford to come.
2007-01-19 10:54:21 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like they do not approve of your marriage. They are making excuses. Every parent has time to attend their child's wedding.
Invite them and have your fiance push them to come. He may want to ask them why they do not approve. That will put them on the spot and they will have to explain why they are claiming to be too busy for their son's wedding.
They may get so embarrassed that they come.
Take care,
Troy
2007-01-19 11:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does his parents like u? Noone is that busy, they can take 1 day off for their sons wedding......seems as though they dont approve
2007-01-19 10:59:19 · answer #8 · answered by Hi my name is... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to get a flight and take some time off work you only get married once .
2007-01-19 10:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by tigger 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they should be there.
2007-01-19 10:57:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋