I know there was a simliar question not long ago but here is my situation. My ex husband and i share custody or our two boys (8yr and 5yr) We rotate two days during the week and every other weekend. This seems to work fine. Lately though my 8 yr old wants to stay with his father on some of "my days" He has a good friend next door who he always plays with. He tells me gets bored at my house and wants to stay and play with his friends. So my questions is do i let him stay or make him come with me? Also what about his little brother? I don't like to seperate them too much but niether seems bothered by it too much.
2007-01-19 02:36:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
i would let him go. it seems like you and your x have established trust between one another. you should keep in mind that a woman can never teach a boy how to become a man. his dads place is a safe place for him and you don't want him to get into anything negative because he is bored and venerable to make hasty decisions that could get him in trouble. if his dad is willing i think that is good for your son. there is alot of pressure on young kids these days and as long as you approve of the friend then you should let him. at least you know where he is.
2007-01-19 03:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is your time with your son. He only wants to stay there to play with the friend is not a good enough reason. Invite this boy to your house occasionally. But your son has got to learn life is not always about what he wants. Cherish every moment with your boys while you have a say. When he is mid teens then it may be different. Till then he comes to you on your days. Gets bored!! does he not have books or toys at your house. Tell him he is a clever boy with a good working brain and your sure he can put it to good use and find something to do.
2007-01-19 03:34:55 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay with the rules you and your husband agreed to. Kids will have stages where they prefer certain things. That doesn't mean you should cater to his every whim. It won't kill him to not play there daily. Family should trump friends, especially at his age. With it being a broken home, he needs equal time with you both. Try comming up with some new ideas of things to do together. If he only got everyother weekend with his Dad, I could see him wanting more time, but he's just wanting to goof off with his pals. Half of each month is enough time for that. The world doesn't revolve around him, afterall. I bet his little brother gets more time with him at your house too, because he's not off with his friends. Consider all of you, not just him. Keep things the way they are.
2007-01-19 02:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by Velken 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats your time with your kids. Its ok every once in a while to let him stay. But maybe on your time you can have that friend over for a sleep over or something. Also maybe find some friends that have kids about the same age so they can come over and play once in a while. Just remember this is your bonding time with your children and thats what you should be doing... bonding. Good luck.
2007-01-19 02:42:08 · answer #4 · answered by lilly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that u should let him understand that u want to spend some time with him and that it hurt u that he don't want spend time with u. U may want to try to do things that not only just him but that both boys would like to do.And then if u let him do what he want to do then u are telling him that he has the upper hand and that he is running things. And u can try asking him if he want to stay with his father more that has to still come and spend time with u and his brother.
2007-01-19 02:52:02 · answer #5 · answered by melissa b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thinking is that if your husband is very good to them you should listen to your 8 yr old because what you do now effects them later in there future but you should not seperate the two brothers because that could effect there relationship with each other.
2007-01-19 02:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by scottsmith20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same situation as you, and I think it's important that your 8yr. old respect the time that you have with him, as well as the time he has with his father.
If he's saying he's bored at your house, then it may be time for mommy to do more one on one activities to help pass the time, and get back the bond that she desires to have from her son.
From this age forward, boys will want to start bonding with their friends, so it's important that you help your son to maybe form bonds with friends in your neighborhood, church etc. with whom he can play with and look forward to playing with also, during his time at your house.
2007-01-19 03:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by Trina A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I let my kids live their own life...he has good reasoning, he is not trying to get away from you just be with his friend...do not make it about you........and as for his brother ...he is not his brothers keeper he is setting a good example on how to live...he will make his own friends...my kids are now late teens and they have full productive lives and we carve out time for each other....
2007-01-20 01:25:33 · answer #8 · answered by cherry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have something planned with him, I dont see why he should have to stay if he wants to do something else. Playing with friends is much better then being bored.
2007-01-19 03:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him stay with his father!!
If they don't seemed bothered by one being with you and one with the father then don't worry about it.
At 8 and 5 their interest are too different to be very good playmates for each other anyway.
2007-01-19 02:44:52 · answer #10 · answered by UccmLover 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋