i hate seeing babies in car seats wrong, is it rude to fix them?

Question

i always see moms that dont put babies in carseats right, i have such a bad habbit of just fixing it. i can stand that the seat belt is loose or the chest buckle is undone. even they dont put them on at all. it drives me crazy, am i rude for fixing it? i never do it when they are looking but i cant help but to think about a horriable carwreck and the baby not being in the seat right. its so improtant to me. i even bought the safest best carseat on the market for my own son and i double check everything before we leave. i think its an obsession but what would you do if you saw that? would you attempt to fix the problem or would you ignore it? i ahad a friend of mine tell me that she knows a girl that didnt buckle her baby in the seat properly adn didnt shut the door all the way in the car, when she made a turn the door in the car opened and the baby flew out of the carseat and DIED! i was horrified. it might have scared me for life. would you be offended if somone tried to fix yur baby?

most people are extremly thankful but onw mom i think i embarassed in the docotrs office. i even asked if i could fix it and she said sure but she rolled her eyes when i told he rwhat i was doing; she had the starps all backwards and twisted together. it makes me so upset when i see really lose belts, it tells me that the mom dosent care enough to make sure the baby is secure in the car. i freak out when i see car seats in the front seat with air bags. i guess not everyone gets the 401 from the hospital on the way out. please if you ever see a carseat done wrong think about the baby that died because of a careless mom. even if you just point it out, they at least know about it and if they really dont care then they wont fix it. i would proally insist they fix it.

for now on i will definatly just say somthing instead but the girl im watching, her parents almost dilebratly make her car seat belt loose so its easier to put her in. how dumb! i think its harder and stupid!

Answer 1

Not only would I NOT be offended, I would be SOOOOO appreciative. I try to make sure my children are buckled properly but if by chance I missed it I would thank you for caring enough about my child to help. I think that is great. Have you ever thought of trying to educate the parent? Perhaps then it wouldn't happen so much. Good luck and keep up the good work!!

Answer 2

I'd say it's none of your business if it was MY child. If it was the child of a friend or acquaintance, then you would ask them first. I'd say it was an obsession, and no matter how 'safe' you make your kids, life is risky. You can't guarantee *everything*.

The best of intentions (a child's safety) does not supercede the rights of a parent. Several of my children were extremely sensitive to the belts, so when I pulled them out of the car, I would adjust their seatbelts to a more comfortable, loose level. If someone would have tightened it, it would have caused a screaming hissy fit. You don't know the circumstances behind having someone elses child the way they are, and having had seven children, I would be horribly offended if some chick I didn't know came up to me on the street and told me I was doing things wrong. You're lucky you haven't been caught by someone, and you're lucky you haven't been hurt. You can bet if some stranger was messing with my child, I would have the store hold them and call the police for attempted kidnapping. Regardless of the story. You can't be too safe (sarcasm)

and I'd contact SNOPES about the child flying out of the car and carseat. If something like that had actually happened, the car seat safety people would have it all over the newspapers. Honestly...flew OUT of the carseat, then OUT of the car? She must have been driving like a MANIAC...

Answer 3

I had this problem with my 3rd child! It makes even quick trips out seem like an eternity of stress and noise. My oldest baby (my boy) LOVED his seat, and I would often have to put him in it on the dryer to get him to sleep as a newborn. My middle child was very nonchalant about it. But my youngest would cry, scream, kick, and scratch herself before we even got the seat into the car. (Dry, fed, and well- rested, so i know it was just the experience of being in her seat.) Unfortunately with our baby, nothing worked. We enlisted the other kids to entertain her. We would sing, play different types of music, hang toys, use ankle rattles... she just hated her seat. It is something some babies have to grow out of. You can try using her seat around the house when you have her in the same room with you (like cleaning the kitchen, etc). Maybe if she can associate it with something positive it might help. Definitely check the straps and purchase some of the strap covers (they're around $5 at Wal-Mart) that have a velcro closure. Also be sure she has enough neck and head support. More than likely, the car seat sits at a different angle in the car then it does in the stroller, so head support is a must. You can also invest in mirrors so you can see her and she can see herself. Other than that (which I know others have already suggested), it seems to be a "ride it out" type thing. My daughter is now 6 months old, and for almost 2 months has tolerated and even enjoyed her seat and the outings we take. It seems like a long time, but don't give up! =)

Answer 4

Well I think it is a bit rude to just go over and start fixing it without even asking or anything.

I would just walk over, inform the parent that the seat is not being used correctly and that their child could possibly be seriously injured or even killed if they get into an accident when the seat is not properly installed.

I too see a LOT of people who do not use carseats correctly. It ticks me off as well. They are basically playing russian roulette with their kids lives, every time they take their child for a ride in that seat. It's sad :(

I would definitely be put off if someone just came over and started messing with my kids seats though. I'd much rather they say "excuse me, but I noticed that you are not installing that seat correctly. Would you mind if I show you the proper way to install it?" or something like that.

I spent a huge amount of money on my kids seats. I wouldn't want anyone else touching them LOL I don't even like my hubby installing them LOL

Answer 5

My sister wasn't always so great about getting my nephew in there properly. He was always buckled in, but at 8 months she had him front-facing, and he's occasionally been in the front-facing car seat (he's three now, so that part's okay) in the front seat.

I brought it up to her and I did tell her that according to a police officer friend of mine, the child needs to be rear-facing in the backseat (preferably in the middle) for 1 year AND 20 lbs. She turned him back around.

With the front-seat thing, she occasionally lets him in the front seat, but not often, and she doesn't ever put my kids in the front seat when they ride with her.

There are ways to do it. If you said "Can I help you?" or even "Do you know how to tighten the straps on that thing?" that would be acceptable. Most parents (especially if they're a friend or family member) would appreciate knowing someone is looking out for their child. I've even been known to use nagging and guilt trips to get a friend to get her baby in the carseat instead of holding him. In my opinion, there are no restraints on the baby in that circumstance, so there are no restraints on what I consider acceptable to say to the mom.

What I would NOT appreciate, though, is if you got it in your head to harp on the fact that you bought your baby a top-of-the-line carseat. Most of those best of the best carseats are more than most parents can afford, so if a parent who has no other option than to get the most simple kind or even a used carseat, you should keep your mouth shut about how safe you think those carseats are or aren't. That would be rude.

But no, a little fussing over a misbuckled carseat isn't rude, as long as you aren't, like, "You're doing that wrong, let me show you how it's SUPPOSED to be!" Like most situations where a parent is corrected over how they handle their child, discretion and tactfulness are important.

Answer 6

I think you're right. People prattle on about how much they love their little ones, but, they can't take ten seconds to remove the slack in the seat belt? Give me a break! How would they feel if they were helpless and left to roll around in the back seat!

Whenever my boys' grandparents attempt to put them in their boosters I always double check. They used to get offended but I informed them, in no uncertain terms, that I will offend anyone if it means my boys stay safe! They got over it, learned how to do it right and are the same way with their friends when they have grandkids in the car too! Keep doing it, some things are worth ruffling a few feathers over, just do it lightheartedly without making a big scene, but, do it!

Answer 7

What you are doing is rude indeed, and also ileagal. If the parent was to see that, they could press charges and take legal action agenst you. Please stop, for your own sake, otherwise you will end up in a great deal of legal truobles.

What you shoudl do is inform the parent, and make sure the ciructances of the buckle are indeed incorrect. Other then that, you have no right to do anything.

I would be affended if you ever came near my baby with the intent to "fix" its car-seat. I would be one of many who would call the police. That is an invasion of pricasy, unwelcomed contact with a minor, and a violoation of many other laws.

Answer 8

I probably wouldn't fix it for them, but I would ask if I could show them how to do it properly. I am a truck driver, and it almost makes me cry when I see the way people let their children run around the car without seatbelts, or just hold an infant on their lap. If you do not care any more for your child than that, you shouldn't have been allowed to become a parent.

Answer 9

Well, I would hope that I am as responsible as you are and double check when I buckle up my baby!!!!!
I think I would be very embarrassed if I caught you fixing my babies carseat, but I wouldn't be offended... because its my baby! The baby should be safe, and if someone sees something wrong, I hope they care enough to fix it for me.

Some people don't take it as seriously as they should... I always double check the carseats, and before I start my car, I say outloud "Did I buckle in Ian? Yes. Did I buckle in Bethany? Yes."
Never ever ever a bad thing to double check the safety of your babies!!!!

Answer 10

A lot of times people don't know that they are doing it wrong, so it's not terribly rude to say that you noticed the seatbelt is loose or something, if it's obviously installed improperly, point it out. But you should expect some people to take it the wrong way and get offended, so don't do it if you don't have thick skin.